If you’re getting mixed signals from a girl you’re right to ask yourself; is she playing me or just scared?
To help put your mind at ease, I can help you identify some of the signs that a girl does like you but she’s scared of something.
Maybe it’s her feelings, what will happen if she lets you know she likes you, or something else, if she’s scared she will back off and it’ll feel like she’s playing you.
Here are 15 signs she likes you and isn’t deliberately playing you but is scared to commit:
- Is She Playing Me or Just Scared? 15 Signs She Likes You but Is Scared!
- 1. She Doesn’t Want to Talk About Her Feelings
- 2. She Backs Off when You Push Forward
- 3. She Says Nice Things by Text but Leaves You ‘On Read’
- 4. Her Friends Say She’s Hard to Read and Not a Player
- 5. You Find out She’s Been Hurt Before
- 6. She’s Nervous Around You
- 7. She Finds It Hard to Make Good Eye Contact
- 8. She Interacts with You More on Social Media
- 9. She Is Always Interested in What You’re Up To
- 10. You Can Tell She’s Not a Natural Player
- 11. She Apologizes for Backing Off
- 12. She’s Clearly Jealous when You Talk to Other Girls
- 13. She Makes an Effort When You Meet Up
- 14. She Does Cute Thoughtful Things for You
- 15. You Can Feel the Nervous Energy When She’s Around You
Is She Playing Me or Just Scared? 15 Signs She Likes You but Is Scared!
1. She Doesn’t Want to Talk About Her Feelings
A classic sign that a girl is interested in you but is scared is that she can’t – or won’t – open up about her feelings.
This is because it’s terrifying for her to put herself in a vulnerable position and she’s worried that if she does, you’ll reject her.
So instead, she keeps everything bottled up inside or pushes you away which makes it seem like she doesn’t care.
If you’re getting mixed signals from a girl or feel like she’s playing you but she won’t open up at all, this may be the reason.
2. She Backs Off when You Push Forward
When a girl backs off the more you push forward, you could easily just write this off as her playing you.
But in a lot of cases, what this tells us is that she’s scared of commitment and/or developing stronger feelings for you.
It’s easier for someone to run away than it is to face up to what they’re scared of, so backing off comes naturally to a lot of girls.
3. She Says Nice Things by Text but Leaves You ‘On Read’
A girl who likes you but is scared of feelings will often say really sweet things to you over text or social media.
But when it comes to actually talking to you back and forth or spending time with you in person, she’ll find that a lot more difficult.
So, the fact that she’s saying nice things to you is a huge positive.
But the fact that she then distances herself tells you that she’s either playing you or scared, and I’m hedging on the side of being scared.
4. Her Friends Say She’s Hard to Read and Not a Player
You may have noticed that the girl you like is a bit of an enigma and even her friends say she’s hard to read.
Her friends will know her better than anyone, if they’re telling you she’s not playing you and is just hard to get through to, then you can take that as being the case.
This is one of the best signs you’ll get that she isn’t playing you and is just scared, so it’s worth talking to her friends!
5. You Find out She’s Been Hurt Before
We all change a lot through past trauma and being hurt by a partner in the past will make a lot of girls become more protective and guarded in future relationships.
If the girl you like has been hurt before it will make a lot of sense as to why she’s scared in her current relationship or situation with you.
She’s going to require space and time, but if you continue to do all the right things you’ll get closer to her.
6. She’s Nervous Around You
Another body language cue that a girl isn’t a player and does, in fact, like you but is scared is seeing they’re nervous.
This is because players tend to be confident and great at putting on a front to get what they want, while scared people can’t.
If you notice her fidgeting, messing up her words, or generally acting differently around you than others, it’s a good sign she likes you but is scared.
7. She Finds It Hard to Make Good Eye Contact
This is another classic body language sign to look out for, eye contact!
Players will make good, strong eye contact to get what they want when they want it, then do their whole distant act.
But if a girl is nervous or scared, she’s much more likely to find it difficult to make good eye contact.
8. She Interacts with You More on Social Media
Similar to texting, if she finds it difficult to talk to you in person but is following, liking, and commenting on your social media, this is a sign she’s scared of putting herself out there and being let down.
Interacting online is a way for her to stay close to you without having to put herself in a vulnerable position where she could get hurt.
So, if you want to move things forward, I would take this as a green light.
9. She Is Always Interested in What You’re Up To
This is a great sign that she’s not playing you, because if she was she wouldn’t care about your life!
If the girl you like is always interested in what you’re up to and what’s going on in your life, it means she cares about you and wants to know more.
If she then finds it difficult to move forward with you, this is certainly a clear sign she’s nervous or scared of her feelings.
10. You Can Tell She’s Not a Natural Player
When someone is a player you can just tell. Maybe not at first, but there are always signs that give it away.
Likewise, you can just tell when someone isn’t a player.
If you’re trying to figure out if a girl is a player or just scared of her feelings for you, then one way to get to the bottom of this is to see if she’s a player!
If she is a player, then maybe she’s playing you.
But if she definitely isn’t a player and not capable of playing someone, you can chalk her up to being scared.
11. She Apologizes for Backing Off
Players are rarely apologetic, they don’t care enough about other people’s feelings or think that way.
If the girl you’re interested in has backed off and then apologized for it, this is a good sign she’s not playing you.
It shows you that she feels bad about messing you around but finds it difficult to put herself in a vulnerable position.
12. She’s Clearly Jealous when You Talk to Other Girls
(Most) players do not get jealous when the people they’re seeing are talking or hanging out with other people.
Although jealousy is a pretty horrible emotion, it does show you that she likes you – a lot!
And if she’s scared of her feelings, this will only amplify the jealousy.
13. She Makes an Effort When You Meet Up
You can tell a lot about a girl – or a guy – by how much effort they make when they know they’re going to be seeing you.
The only reason she would be trying to impress you is if she likes you, even if she can’t bring herself to show it!
14. She Does Cute Thoughtful Things for You
Another sign that a girl is not just playing you is if she does cute, thoughtful things for you that make you feel great.
There are few things better than receiving thoughtful gifts or having someone do something special for us, so consider yourself lucky.
It sounds like this girl really likes you and isn’t just playing you.
15. You Can Feel the Nervous Energy When She’s Around You
Call this an x-factor, gut feeling, intuition, whatever you want to call it but it’s not something you can see.
When a girl likes you and is scared of being rejected, showing her feelings, or something else to do with you – you might be able to just ‘feel’ it.
It’s not a feeling that can easily be put into words.
But if you feel an energy, nervous energy, or something very different when she’s around you, it might be because she likes you and is scared of her feelings!
If you’ve been able to rule out that she’s playing you, this is the most logical explanation.
It’s worth you taking the lead and trying to get her to open up, otherwise, you might look back at this as a missed opportunity!
Image credits – Photo by Lauren Rader on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.