If you like a guy and you think he likes you, too, it can be really confusing if he backs off or blows hot and cold.
Sometimes, the reason why guys do this is because they’re intimidated or scared of asking you out or getting rejected.
When you know what you’re looking for, however, you can tell if a guy is just scared or if he’s actually not interested.
If you’re trying to read a guy’s body language, here are 19 signs to look for that reveal he is scared of you – it’s not that he is not interested:
- Is He Scared of Me or Not Interested
- 1. He Talks to You but Won’t Ask You Out
- 2. He’s Always Looking at You But Never Approaches You
- 3. He’s Visibly Nervous Around You
- 4. You Make Him Blush
- 5. He Hangs Around You and Your Friends
- 6. He Gives You Thoughtful Compliments
- 7. His Friends Reveal He Likes You
- 8. He Makes an Effort to Know Your Friends
- 9. He Mirrors Your Body Language
- 10. He Jumps in To Defend You
- 11. He Gets Jealous When You’re Talking to Other Guys
- 12. He Checks in And Asks how You’re Doing
- 13. He Drops Everything and Is There for You
- 14. He Wants to Listen to Your Problems
- 15. He Remembers the Small Things About You
- 16. He Doesn’t Always Talk to You, But Texts You A Lot
- 17. He’s the First to Laugh at Your Jokes
- 18. He’s Shy Around You
- 19. You Hear He’s Been Hurt Before
Is He Scared of Me or Not Interested
1. He Talks to You but Won’t Ask You Out
One of the most obvious signs that a guy likes you but is scared or intimidated by you is when he talks to you, and maybe flirts a little, but won’t ask you out.
I’m sure you’ll agree it’s kinda cute when a guy wants to ask you out, but can’t bring himself to do so.
It’s up to you how you handle this, if you like him, just don’t make him feel too bad when he realizes you’re not at all scary!
2. He’s Always Looking at You But Never Approaches You
This is a less obvious sign, but if you catch him looking at you a lot and he never comes over to talk to you, it’s likely because he’s scared of you.
It could be that he thinks you’re out of his league or he might be worried about being rejected by you.
In any case, if you want to talk to him, go ahead and make the first move.
I’m sure he’ll be relieved!
3. He’s Visibly Nervous Around You
Another sign that a guy is scared of you (but still interested) is if he’s visibly nervous around you.
This could manifest itself in many ways, such as fidgeting, sweating, or avoiding eye contact.
If you see any of these signs, it’s likely that he likes you but is just too scared to say anything to you.
On the flip side, if a guy is not interested in you romantically, he’s not going to be a little bit nervous.
4. You Make Him Blush
This is similar to the point above, but worth mentioning separately.
If you find that you make him blush or he gets tongue-tied around you, it’s a sure sign that he likes you and is intimidated by you at the same time.
It can be really sweet when a guy is like this around you, just try not to make him feel too embarrassed!
5. He Hangs Around You and Your Friends
Another sign that a guy likes you but is scared of you is if he hangs around you and your friends, but never makes a move to talk to you when it’s just the two of you.
This could be because he’s worried about being rejected by you in front of your friends or he might think they would judge him.
It’s also a good tactic to get close to your friends as a way of getting closer to you.
6. He Gives You Thoughtful Compliments
A guy who likes you will definitely want to compliment you, although a guy who’s scared of you might be a little more subtle with his compliments.
He might tell you that you look good or ask if you’ve had your hair done, and another good sign is if he notices subtle things like you’ve had your nails done.
Either way, it’s a sweet gesture that shows he cares about you and is being attentive.
7. His Friends Reveal He Likes You
This is a bit of an indirect way of finding out if a guy likes you, but it’s a more reliable way if he’s scared or intimidated by you.
If you know his friends and they tell you that he’s been talking about you or asking them about you, then it’s likely that he likes you but is too scared to say anything directly to you.
You never know, he might have even asked his friends to tell you he likes you to see how you react!
8. He Makes an Effort to Know Your Friends
If a guy likes you, he’s going to want to make an effort to get to know your friends.
This is because he knows that they are important to you and he wants to be accepted by them.
It’s also a good way of getting closer to you if he’s too scared or intimidated to talk to you directly.
9. He Mirrors Your Body Language
Body language is a really important way of communication, and it’s something we do unconsciously.
If you find that he’s mirroring your body language, it’s a good sign that he’s interested in you.
For example, if you cross your arms, he might do the same thing.
Or if you lean in to talk to him and he leans in as well, this is also something people do without realizing it when they’re attracted to someone.
10. He Jumps in To Defend You
Everyone likes to have a knight in shining armor jump to their defense, right?
OK, well he might not quite be a knight in armor, but if he jumps in to defend you – even when it’s not necessary – it’s a sweet gesture.
It’s also a common tactic for guys who are a little afraid of making a move on a girl but what to show them they’ll protect their honor.
11. He Gets Jealous When You’re Talking to Other Guys
Jealousy is definitely a sign of insecurity, but it can also be a sign of being protective.
If he gets jealous when you’re talking to other guys or if he doesn’t like it when you mention other guys, then there’s a good chance that he likes you and is trying to protect what he has with you.
It’s not a bad thing, as long as it doesn’t get out of control. In fact, a little jealousy is cute sometimes!
12. He Checks in And Asks how You’re Doing
If he regularly checks in with you or sends you text messages asking how your day is going, it’s a sign that he cares about you.
It might not seem like a big deal, but it shows that he’s thinking about you and wants to make sure you’re doing OK.
This is especially sweet if he does it when you’re feeling a little down. It’s also a lot easier for him to do this than reveal how much he likes you.
13. He Drops Everything and Is There for You
If you need help or someone to talk to, and he’s there for you no matter what – even if it means dropping everything he’s doing – then that’s a pretty clear sign that he likes you!
He might not say it directly, but his actions speak volumes.
This is especially true if he goes out of his way to help you when he’s clearly busy himself.
14. He Wants to Listen to Your Problems
Only friends, family, and someone who likes you will be willing to listen to your problems.
If he’s regularly offering to listen to your problems and gives you advice, then it shows that he cares about you.
It might not seem like much, but it’s a way of showing support without actually putting himself too far out there if he’s scared of being rejected.
15. He Remembers the Small Things About You
If he remembers the small things about you – like how you have your coffee or the fact that you’re scared of heights – it shows that he’s paying attention to you and wants to get to know you better.
It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s actually really sweet.
And it’s something that not many people do unless that is that they fancy you or have a secret crush on you!
16. He Doesn’t Always Talk to You, But Texts You A Lot
This can be a bit of a confusing one, but if he doesn’t always talk to you in person but texts you a lot instead, it could mean that he’s interested in you.
It might sound strange, but some guys are just too scared to talk to girls they like face-to-face.
So if he texts you a lot and you like him, my advice would be to tell him via text that he has nothing to be scared of and should come chat next time he sees you!
17. He’s the First to Laugh at Your Jokes
Laughter is a sign of attraction – it’s proven by science!
So if he’s the first to laugh at your jokes, even if they’re not that funny, it means that he’s interested in you.
I’m sorry to say that you might not be the comedian you think you are – but at least you know that the guy likes you!
18. He’s Shy Around You
When a guy is shy, it can be really difficult to get a read on them.
Are they generally shy, just shy around you, or are they just not interested in you?
A clue is to look at how they behave around other people.
Narrow down when and who he’s shy around, and if it’s just you then you know it’s an effect you’re having on him.
19. You Hear He’s Been Hurt Before
If you’ve heard from a friend of a friend that he’s been hurt before, then it might be why he’s acting the way he is around you.
It takes time to heal from a break-up, and some people never really get over it.
You can’t blame him for being a bit cautious and not putting himself in a position where he can be rejected.
If you’re seeing several of the other signs on this list that a guy likes you, there is a very good chance that he does.
It sounds like he’s just a little nervous or scared about approaching you and needs a little help!
Image credits – Photo by Phil Desforges on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.