If you’re getting mixed signals from a guy you’re into, it can be really confusing trying to figure out if he really likes you but is afraid of commitment, or doesn’t like you.
There is obviously a huge difference though – it’s worth chasing someone who is afraid of commitment if you like them.
On the flip side, if a guy is not into you, you should waste your time with him as you’ll only end up hurt.
To help you out, here are 10 signs to look for that a guy does like you, but is just afraid of commitment:
10 Signs a Guy Likes You But Is Afraid of Commitment
1. He Asks to Meet up But only In the Near Future
When a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible.
If he has commitment issues, however, he won’t feel comfortable planning very far ahead.
This is where there is often some confusion around whether a guy likes someone, or just doesn’t want to see them.
Guys with commitment issues get anxious about planning ahead, try to identify if that’s the thing stopping him.
2. He Initiates Conversation but Doesn’t Commit to Anything
This is a similar way of proving the same point.
If a guy isn’t into you, he will not make conversation and put in the effort to arrange to meet up.
If he is into you, however, but just has commitment issues, he will be excited to talk to you, but struggle to commit to a time and place.
It’s really quite difficult for commitment-phobes to balance their feelings for someone with feeling anxious about arranging to meet!
3. He’s Interested in You and Listens Attentively
When a guy is into you, he will want to know everything about you and hang onto your every word.
However, if he has commitment issues, he’ll be interested in you but won’t share much about himself.
This is because he’s anxious about getting too close and revealing too much about himself.
He’s essentially trying to keep you at arm’s length.
If you find yourself in this situation, try to get him to share a little more about himself step by step.
4. He Checks in On You to See How You’re Doing
When someone is interested in you, they’ll want to know how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life.
A guy with commitment issues may do this too, but he’ll be far less likely to follow up after you tell him about your day.
He’s interested in hearing about your life, but doesn’t want to reveal too much, so don’t be offended if you feel like you’re hitting a brick wall.
Just take the positive away from the fact that he’s checking in on you, that’s a thoughtful and cute thing for a guy to do.
5. He Has a History of Short Relationships
One of the biggest giveaways that a guy has commitment issues is if he has a history of short relationships.
If he’s never been in a long-term relationship before, he either doesn’t know how to commit or just can’t bring himself to do so.
If you’re getting serious with someone and you find out that they’ve never had a long-term relationship, be prepared for the fact that he might be a commitment-phobe.
6. He’s Making an Effort with Your Friends and Family
When a guy is into you, he’ll make an effort with your friends and family.
He knows that it means a lot to get to know the people who are important to you, so he will make that effort.
Guys with commitment issues will find this a lot more difficult as it means they’re bringing themselves into your world, so it’s a sign that they really like you a lot.
7. His Friends Keep Telling You He’s Into You
Some guys, and this applies to commitment-phobes, in particular, are very good at hiding how they’re really feeling.
But they will often open up to their friends, and you can then find out how they feel through them.
If a guy’s friends are telling you he’s really into you but has commitment issues, take their word for it as they know them better than you do.
8. They Pursue You but Don’t Have Many Friends
This is another sign that a guy likes you but has commitment issues.
If a guy is very obviously pursuing you but doesn’t have many friends it’s a bit of a red flag, it’s likely because they’re afraid of getting too close to people.
That means you can take the fact that they’re chasing you as a really positive sign that they’re into you!
9. They Always Respond to Your Texts but Can Be Vague
If a guy responds to your texts but doesn’t seem to be committing to meeting up, they like you but clearly struggle to commit.
By texting, he’s showing that he’s interested in you and wants to keep the conversation going, but he’s not ready to make plans or commit to anything.
It can be really frustrating when you’re trying to make plans with someone and they’re just not getting back to you, but with some patience, you will be able to make progress.
10. You Feel that Special Energy when You’re Together
When you’re with someone who likes you, there’s a special energy between the two of you.
You just feel it and know it.
It’s the same with guys who have commitment issues but are into you, they can’t hide how they feel and you’ll pick up on the tension in the air.
Even though they might not be ready to take things to the next level and are evasive, that doesn’t mean they don’t like you and want to take things further.
You’re just going to need to be a little more patient and build trust over time.
Image credits – Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.