If you’re in a relationship with a commitment-phobe it can be incredibly hard to read how they feel about you, can’t it?
Commitment-phobes always have their guard up because they feel vulnerable when they get close to someone, and they hide their feelings so they don’t get hurt.
When someone is in love, however, there are always signs!
Here are 20 signs to look out for when a commitment-phobe is in love.
When a Commitment-Phobe Is in Love – 20 Signs!
1. They’re Asking a Lot of Questions About You
Commitment-phobes are usually closed up and don’t probe others with questions in case the tables are turned on them.
If a commitment-phobe is comfortable asking you questions, it’s a strong sign that they are in love and being led by their emotions!
It’s a great sign, just be sure to take it easy with them and not press them too hard with questions back.
2. They (almost) Initiate Plans with You
A commitment-phobe will usually avoid making plans with you in case they get too emotionally attached.
If they are initiating more plans than usual, it’s a good sign that they want to spend more time with you and are getting serious about the relationship.
Just be careful not to get ahead of yourself – remember, baby steps!
3. They Are Willing to Open up About How They Feel
This is a big one.
A commitment-phobe who is in love will start to open up about their feelings for you and will be more emotionally available than usual.
If they are sharing things with you that they wouldn’t usually share, it means that they trust you and are starting to let their guard down.
Enjoy this special moment, but again, don’t push them too hard.
4. They Start Making Plans for The Future
When a commitment-phobe starts making future plans with you, it’s a very good sign!
The nature of a commitment-phobe means that they aren’t comfortable about making future plans, so I’d take this as a sign they are either in love or are quickly falling for you.
5. They Don’t Disappear on You as Often
If a commitment-phobe starts sticking around more and not disappearing on you as often, it’s definitely a sign that they are in love!
Commitment-phobes tend to run away when things start getting too serious, but if they are staying put then it means they want to be with you and only you.
Sure, they might be bumps in the road, but honestly, while this might seem like nothing much to you, this is a big step for them.
6. They Are Being More Responsive with You
When a commitment-phobe is in love, they will start being more responsive both emotionally and physically.
This means that they will be more available to talk to you when you need them and will also be more affectionate with you.
It’s a great sign that things are going well, and again, a small thing for someone without commitment issues, but a big step for a commitment-phobe.
7. Their Friends Have Noticed a Change
You might not know them well enough to spot a huge change, but I bet their friends and family do.
If their friends and family have started commenting on how happy they seem or how they are acting differently around you, it’s a good sign that they are in love!
Of course, take everything with a grain of salt – their friends and family might just be saying things because they want you two to get together!
But if you get all the positive vibes, too, it’s a great sign.
8. They Admit that They Have Commitment Issues
A big sign that a commitment-phobe is in love is if they openly admit to having commitment issues.
This means that they are acknowledging their feelings for you and are also admitting that they might have a problem with commitment, but they want to try and overcome it for your sake.
It’s a really positive sign, and when you take into account how difficult it is for most people with commitment issues to open up and make themselves so vulnerable, it shows they’re feeling something special.
9. You Feel Safe and Secure with Them
One of the best things about being in love is feeling safe and secure with your partner.
And if you’re with a commitment-phobe, that feeling is even more special because it means they are letting their guard down and trusting you with their heart.
It’s a beautiful thing, and definitely something to cherish.
10. They Listen to You Attentively
When someone is in love, they want to know everything about you.
And I mean everything.
If the person you’re interested in has started paying more attention to you and hanging on to your every word, I’d say love is in the air.
They might even start asking you lots of questions about your life and your past, which is a sure sign that they are interested in you on a deep level.
11. They Don’t Try to Change You
We all have quirks and aspects of our personality that we’re not too keen on, but when someone loves you, they accept you for who you are – quirks and all.
So, if the person you’re with doesn’t try to change you or mold you into someone else, it’s a good sign that they are in love with you for who you are.
When someone has commitment issues, in particular, they usually try and change their partners so they don’t feel pressured.
If a known commitment-phobe is not trying to change you in any way, it’s a great sign.
12. They Stop Making so Many Excuses
When a commitment-phobe is in love, they will stop making excuses and will instead start trying to work through their issues.
This means that they might open up to you or others or read self-help books in an attempt to overcome their fear of commitment.
It’s a really positive sign, and it shows that they are willing to make an effort for you.
13. Communication Between the Two of You Is Improving
If the communication between you and the person you’re interested in has started to improve, it’s a good sign that they’re developing feelings for you.
This is because people who are in love tend to communicate better with their partners – even if it gets a little awkward at times.
And, again, when talking about someone with commitment issues this is an even bigger deal.
14. You Can Feel the Trust Growing
When someone is in love with you, they will start to trust you more and more.
This means that they will confide in you and share things with you that they wouldn’t normally share with anyone else.
If the person you’re interested in has started to open up to you and trust you with their secrets, that’s not something to take for granted.
15. They Are Making More of An Effort
When someone is in love, they will make more of an effort in their appearance, their attitude, and to see you and spend time with you.
This means that they might even start planning dates or making time for you in their schedule – which is a huge deal for someone with commitment issues.
If the person you’re interested in has started making more of an effort to see you, I’d take this as they are falling for you in a big way.
16. You Can Rely on Them!
One of a commitment-phobe’s major flaws is that you cannot rely on them, and this causes all kinds of issues.
If you’re starting to realize that you can rely on the person you’re with, it’s a good sign that they might be falling for you.
This is because when someone loves you, they will do everything in their power to make sure you can rely on them!
17. They Are Making More Effort with Your Friends and Family
When someone loves you, they will make an effort to get to know your friends and family.
This is because they want to be a part of your life and they want your loved ones to approve of them.
If the person you’re with has started asking about your family or has made an effort to meet them, it’s definitely a sign that they have feelings for you.
And much like most of the points in this list, for a commitment-phobe, this is also something that is typically outside of their comfort zone.
18. They Show You Their Vulnerable Side
When someone loves you, they will start to show you their vulnerable side.
This means that they might share their fears or insecurities with you or confide in you about things that have hurt them in the past.
These are things that are typically very difficult for a commitment-phobe to do, so this is another huge sign.
19. They Don’t Run at The First Sign of Commitment
A commitment-phobe will usually run at the first sign of commitment, but if they’re in love with you, they will stick around.
This is because they realize that what they have with you is worth fighting for and worth sticking around for!
20. You Can Feel It!
Love is a powerful emotion and there is no denying that we can feel it when it’s present and love has a crazy effect on us!
If you’re feeling the love from someone, no matter how difficult they are to read, then there’s a good chance that the person loves you.
Commitment-phobes are tricky people to date, but if you can spot these signs early on, it might just be worth sticking around to see where things go!
Image credits – Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.