Does it feel like you attract jealous friends?
Being surrounded by jealous friends sucks, but it’s never your fault.
Jealousy comes from deep-rooted issues of low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and insecurities.
It’s possible you’re picking friends with these traits, but you’re certainly not causing them!
That said, here are 10 reasons why you might be attracting jealous friends and what you should do about it:
Why Do I Attract Jealous Friends? 10 Possible Reasons!
1. You’re Too Kind Natured
This is not your fault – none of the points on this list are – but if you’re too kind-natured to people you may be giving insecure people something they crave.
Whether it’s attention, some security, or boosting their confidence, it’s all things that will bring them closer to you.
If your friends are insecure, they can quickly become jealous of you and your success.
Related – 8 signs your partner is jealous of your success and signs they’re jealous of your relationships.
2. You’re More Successful than Your Friends
If you’ve been more successful than your friends – in any area of life – it can make them feel inferior.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve just got a great new job, or if you’re in a relationship and they’re single, anything that makes them feel like they’re not doing as well as you will trigger jealousy.
It’s hard to pick and choose friends, of course, but hanging out with people who are in a similar situation to you will foster less jealousy.
3. You Allow People to Be Insecure Around You
If you enable people’s insecurities, by being understanding and not challenging them on their behavior, then you’re only going to make things worse.
Insecure people will feed off your support and continue to be jealous because they know they can get away with it.
You need to set boundaries with these friends and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable.
4. You May Come Across Like You’re Boasting
Even if you’re not trying to, you may come across like you’re bragging or showing off if you’re talking about your successes.
This is another reason why hanging out with people in a similar situation to you will help, as they’ll be more likely to understand where you’re coming from.
If your friends are struggling and don’t have their own dreams and ambitions, they may become jealous or envious of you.
5. You Enjoy Nice Things and Expensive Possessions
Again, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the finer things in life – personally, I love to hear that you’re able to buy expensive things and treat yourself.
If your friends are not able to live the same stand of living, however, this can cause some people to become jealous.
You may need to pick and choose who you show or tell that you’re doing well.
It’s unfortunate, but some people just can’t stand to see others doing well and the green-eyed monster comes out.
6. You Hang Around with People Who Are Not Doing Well
If you’re hanging around with people who are not doing well, they may start to resent you.
Maybe you choose to hang around people who need a little help, or maybe it’s just how things turn out.
Either way, if you’re constantly surrounded by people who are struggling, it can make you a target for jealousy.
7. You’re a Good-Looking Person
If you’re a good-looking person, you’ve been blessed and in most situations, it’s only going to work to your advantage.
The issue, however, is that it can make some people feel insecure.
They may not be able to explain it or admit it, but if your friend is not as good-looking as you and you’re getting all the attention when you’re both out, it can make them jealous.
It’s not your fault, but it is something you
8. You Have High Self-Esteem
Having high self-esteem is a great thing, but it can also make you a target for jealous friends.
If you love yourself and are confident in who you are, it can make your friends feel bad about themselves.
Low self-esteem is also one of the root causes of jealousy, so if you have friends with low self-esteem, it’s more likely they’ll start to envy you.
It’s a hard decision to make, but you seriously need to reconsider if you should be surrounded by people who feel like this towards you.
9. You’re Super Confident in Social Situations
I think most – if not everyone – wish they were super confident and the life of the party.
If that’s you, it’s a great quality to have – but it can make you a target for jealous friends.
They may not want to admit it, but if you’re the one who’s always confident and putting yourself out there, it can make your friends feel bad about themselves.
Like every point on this list, it’s not your fault or something you should feel bad about, but it’s something to be aware of.
Jealous friends are not worth your time and you should try to surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good about yourself.
10. You’re The ‘Popular One’
If you’re the ‘popular one’, it’s likely that you’ve been surrounded by jealous friends your whole life – even if they didn’t make it obvious.
People are jealous of those who are popular for a variety of reasons – typically because they are envious of the attention you get.
It’s sad really, because they should be spending time working on their own self-esteem rather than directing negative energy at others.
Related – Is your ex rubbing their new relationship in your face? Here’s what to do!
Should You Drop Jealous Friends?
Jealous friends can be toxic and cause a lot of drama in your life.
If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or being put down, it’s time to reconsider the friendship.
Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem and insecurity, so it’s not something you can change easily for other people.
It’s something they need to work on themselves, and for most people there isn’t an overnight fix.
If you speak with your friends about how their behavior is affecting you and they are willing to acknowledge it and commit to changing, it’s probably worth giving them some time.
If they are not willing to change, however, it’s time to make that tough decision about whether or not you want these types of friends in your life.
It’s hard to let go, but sometimes it’s necessary.
Image credits – Photo by Blake Wisz on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.