If your boyfriend never posts about you on social media, it’s easy to feel like he doesn’t care about you, is ashamed, wants to hide you, etc.
But there is often more to it than that.
In fact, he may be thinking he’s doing the right thing – so it’s worth investigating and hearing him out.
To give you some reasoning, here are 10 of the most common reasons why guys do not post about their girlfriends on social media:
My Boyfriend Never Posts About Me on Social Media – 10 Reasons To Explain This
1. They’re Not Big Social Media Users
This is the most innocent reason and is able to help ease some people’s minds.
It’s possible that your boyfriend just doesn’t like using social media and would rather keep their private life, well, private.
If your boyfriend is one of these people, it doesn’t mean he’s ashamed of you – he just doesn’t want to spend time on social media.
It’s possible you can encourage him to be more active on social media if you can convince him it’s fun and will open doors for him.
But it’s not something you should push him to do. A lot of people don’t enjoy putting themselves out on social media, it needs to be his decision.
2. They Don’t Want People Commenting on Your Relationship
This is a more sensitive issue.
Some people are wary of social media because they don’t want other people’s opinions on their relationship.
There are a lot of insensitive people and trolls on the internet, and it can be difficult to scroll through Facebook or Instagram and see negative comments about your relationship.
Your boyfriend might feel like he’s protecting you by not posting about you on social media, or he might be sensitive himself.
3. They Ashamed of You for Some Reason
This is one of the reasons you’re probably fearing, and it’s something you have to explore.
If your boyfriend is active on social media but won’t post any pictures about you, it may be because he’s embarrassed.
This is hurtful to think about, and please don’t jump to any conclusions, but you think this might be the reason you should talk to him about your concerns.
4. They Want the World to Think They’re Single
This is another of the reasons that you don’t want to be true, but it’s certainly possible.
If your boyfriend will not post about you on social media, and certainly won’t make it official that you’re in a relationship, he might be trying to keep his options open.
There could be many reasons for this – he might not be ready for a relationship, he might not be sure about you, or he might just be a player.
It’s definitely something you should bring up with him – in a non-confrontational way.
5. They Know Someone in Their Family Will Disapprove
If your boyfriend’s family is traditional (or just difficult!), they might not approve of him being in a relationship with someone outside of their culture or religion, or for some other reason.
This can be a tough issue to deal with, and it’s something you need to talk to him about.
He might be torn between his family and his relationship, and he may need your support to help him through this.
The best thing you can do is to be understanding of the predicament he’s in, and give him a reasonable amount of time and space to work it out.
6. They Are Afraid of The Fallout if You Don’t Work Out
This reason is offensive for some women, but sometimes it’s actually telling of a guy’s insecurities.
Your boyfriend might not want to post about you on social media because he is scared of the fallout if things don’t work out between the two of you.
This might sound like he doesn’t have faith in the relationship or isn’t as committed as you.
But it might also be because he’s been hurt before and he has his guard up.
7. They’re Just Not A Picture Type of Person
Not everyone is big on taking pictures, in general, and therefore will not feel comfortable posting them on social media.
Some people are more private and would rather keep their memories to themselves instead of sharing them with the world.
Your boyfriend might just be one of those people, and it doesn’t mean he loves you any less.
It’s possible that he just doesn’t think about posting on social media, all the way through to him having a fear of seeing himself and you online.
8. They Don’t Want to Share Their Limelight Online
If your boyfriend is always posting pictures of himself on social media and he gets a lot of attention, he might not want to share the limelight with you.
He could be worried that people will talk more about you than him and that you’ll take some of the limelight he enjoys so much.
It’s not the best reason for him to hide you and his relationship on social media, but it’s certainly a reason I’ve seen more than once over the years.
9. They’re Hiding Something
This is another of the reasons that a lot of people jump to talk about their partners if they won’t be open on social media.
The obvious assumption is that if your boyfriend is hiding on your social media, then he has something else to hide.
What exactly that is, I can’t tell you, of course.
You’ll need to do some investigating and talk to your boyfriend about it and hopefully, he’ll open up and let you know what, if anything he’s hiding.
10. They Think They’re Protecting You
This is a more positive reason, but it’s still not ideal.
Your boyfriend might not want to post about you on social media because he thinks he’s protecting you from online trolls and the things people in his social circle may say.
And, if he has some immature or disrespectful friends in his circle, he may well be protecting you.
But it should be up to you, too, if you want to be seen with him on social media.
If you want to be seen with your boyfriend on his social media accounts, as long as you’re prepared for the worst-case scenario, he should respect your wishes to be included.
Related – Is it a good idea to disappear from social media to get your ex back? (Explained)
What to Do if You Want Your Boyfriend to Post About You on Social Media
If you want your boyfriend to post about you on social media, and he hasn’t been, there are a few things you can do.
The most important thing by far is that you talk to him about it and try to find out why he doesn’t want to post about you.
Maybe he has a valid reason, maybe he’s just not that into social media, or as I discussed above, it’s possible that he’s up to something he shouldn’t be.
If you can talk to him about it and come to some sort of understanding, then you’re going to be in a much better place.
It’s very situation dependant, but a few things you can try are:
- Talk to your boyfriend about it and try to find out why he doesn’t want to post about you.
- See if he’s willing to compromise by posting pictures of the two of you in a private setting, like at home or on a vacation.
- If he’s not willing to post pictures of the two of you, try to get him to post other things about you, like your interests or what you’re up to.
- If he still refuses, you may have to accept that he’s just not that into social media or that he has his reasons for not wanting to post about you.
- Finally, if you can’t come to an understanding, you may need to consider whether this is a dealbreaker for you in the relationship if you feel like he’s just not respecting you.
Is It Important to Post Your Partner on Social Media?
For some people, posting their partner on social media is a way to show the world that they’re in a happy and committed relationship.
It can also be a way of showing off how great their relationship is and how lucky they are to have found each other.
However, there are plenty of people who don’t feel the need to post their partner on social media and that’s perfectly okay too.
Keep in mind that your relationship is between you and your partner and as long as you’re both happy with how things are, that’s all that really matters.
If you’re not sure whether posting your partner on social media is important to you or not, it’s a good idea to sit down and think about why you feel the need to do it.
- Are you looking for validation from your friends and family?
- Do you feel like you need to prove something to the world?
- Or are you just genuinely happy and want to share that happiness with your friends and family?
There’s no right or wrong answer, it’s just important to be honest with yourself and do things – and for your partner to do things – for the right reasons.
You Have to Respect Each Other’s Wishes
At the end of the day, you and your partner need to respect each other’s wishes when it comes to social media.
If you want them to post about you and they don’t want to, then you have to accept that.
The same goes for if they want you to post about them and you don’t want to.
It’s important to communicate with each other and try to come to an understanding, but if you can’t, then you have to respect each other’s wishes.
After all, social media is supposed to be fun and if it’s causing arguments in your relationship, then it’s not worth it!
Image credits – Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.