Is a guy or a girl telling you they’re too busy to text but on Facebook you can see them posting updates?
I don’t need to tell you that this is pretty rude, and shows that they’re not being completely honest with you.
Before you jump to conclusions, however, there are actually a number of things it can mean.
Here are 8 reasons to explain what it means when someone says they’re too busy to text but on Facebook, they’re posting updates!
8 Reasons Someone Says They’re Too Busy to Text But On Facebook Are Active
1. They’re Avoiding You
The most obvious reason – and it’s a painful one to accept – is that they’re avoiding you.
Maybe they’re not interested in you anymore and don’t want to lead you on, or maybe they’re just not in the mood to text you.
Whatever the reason, it’s rude and cowardly to tell you that they’re busy when they’re not just to avoid texting you.
If they’re obviously spending a lot of time on Facebook, of course, they have time to text you back – that’s clearly not the reason.
2. They Were Busy, But Quickly Popped onto Facebook
We all have those moments where we’re busy doing something and we get a notification that someone has messaged us.
What do you do?
For most of us, the answer is quickly pop onto Facebook to see what they wanted, and then carry on with what we were doing.
If this is the case, then they weren’t necessarily fobbing you off. It sounds like they got distracted by Facebook, which happens to almost all of us at times!
3. They’re Not in The Mood for Serious Conversation
Sometimes, it’s just not the right time to have a serious, heavy, emotional, or difficult conversation.
If you were texting about something serious, it’s possible they want to give themself a break from that conversation so they say they’re busy.
Ideally, they should be honest about it and tell you they’ll get back to you, but it might be difficult for them to do so if they think they’ll be letting you down.
To be fair, I think most of us have done this in some capacity before.
It’s easy to tell someone that you’re busy when really you’re just not in the mood for a certain conversation.
4. They’re Hiding Something About Their Life from You
This is also a possibility, but not necessarily a bad one.
There could be something going on in their life that they’re not ready to share with you yet and is taking up a lot of their time, so they don’t want to text you in case it comes up.
It’s possible they’ll eventually tell you what’s going on, or it might be something that never comes up.
Either way, they might be giving themselves some space from texting but don’t feel the same need to be distant on Facebook.
5. They Are Mad at You for Something
If you had a fight or an argument with them, it’s possible they’re ‘too busy‘ to text you because they’re still mad.
It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, but they need some time to calm down before they can talk to you again.
In this case, checking up on them by looking at their Facebook and trying to message them there is probably not the best idea.
It’s likely to just make them more upset, it’s best to give them some space and wait for them to get back to you when they’re ready.
If you were not even aware that you upset them, or maybe something happened that you didn’t think was a big deal, be sensitive to the fact that it did upset them.
6. Someone Messaged Them on Facebook and They Replied Quickly
Just because someone replied quickly to a message on Facebook, doesn’t mean they’re not busy.
It’s possible they were in the middle of doing something but saw the notification and decided to quickly reply so they wouldn’t forget.
It happens to all of us at times, right?
Maybe you’re following them closely and you can see they’re spending a lot of time on Facebook so you don’t think this is the case.
It’s hard to say without knowing what you can see they’re posting on Facebook, but it is a perfectly reasonable explanation.
7. They’ve Genuinely Forgotten to Text You Back
Something else I think we’ve all been guilty of from time to time is getting sidetracked and forgetting to text someone back.
It’s possible they were busy and meant to reply but got distracted and forgot. In the meantime, they’ve been engaging in conversations and activities on Facebook.
It’s even possible that they thought they had replied to you, I know I’ve been guilty of that before.
Just another reminder as to why it’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes!
8. They Are Just Inconsiderate or Selfish
This is another tough tone to take if you like the person, but you might have to accept that they’re inconsiderate or selfish.
Saying they’re busy so they don’t have to text you might be just one thing in a long line of things they do that make you feel like they don’t care about you.
It’s possible they’re just not very good at communicating, or maybe they don’t care about your feelings as much as you thought.
If this is the case, it might be time to move on from them. Or at least try and protect yourself from being hurt by not relying on them as much.
What to Do When Someone Says They’re Too Busy to Text but You See Them on Facebook
It can be frustrating when someone says they’re too busy to text you but you see them active on Facebook.
As I covered above, there could be a number of reasons for this, some more serious than others.
Before you get too upset, it’s important to remember that there could be a perfectly innocent explanation for this behavior.
It’s important that you do not jump to conclusions, confront them, or get angry at them – instead, you need to speak with them about it.
You could say something like:
“Hey, I noticed you said you were too busy to text me but I saw you were active on Facebook. Is everything okay?”
Or, “Hey, just noticed you’re on Facebook and wondered if you had time to get back to me yet?”
By approaching the situation calmly and openly, you give them the opportunity to explain themselves without putting them on the defensive.
This is the best way to handle the situation and hopefully get to the bottom of what’s going on.
Have you found yourself in a similar situation with someone you cared about? How did you handle it and what was their excuse?
I’d love to hear about it below, and I’m sure it would help others in a similar situation.
Image credits – Photo by James Yarema on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.