I’ve heard it so many times…”my boyfriend never invites me to family events, should I be worried?”
Well, if you’re in this situation, you do have some issues to discuss and figure out.
I’m sure you want to know why he’s not inviting you to family events, as well as what you can do to be invited.
First, let me say – as his girlfriend, it’s normal to want to be included in his family plans. That’s totally normal, don’t ever feel bad for bringing this up with him.
Second of all, don’t worry. We’re going to get to the bottom of this!
Read on, hopefully, one or more of the following reasons will ring true as to why he’s not been inviting you to his family events and how you can talk to him and help start including you:
7 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Isn’t Inviting You to Family Events
He’s Hiding Something
The most obvious reason why anyone doesn’t invite a special someone to any event that is important to them is that they’re hiding something.
You may have even guessed as much, right? It’s more so what they’re hiding and why they’re hiding it from you – or hiding you from ‘it’.
I hope the information in this article helps you narrow down what this may be. Or, at the very least enables you to talk openly to him and figure out what it is he’s hiding. I hope it’s nothing too heavy, too!
He’s Embarrassed About You
It’s sad to say, but often the reason a man doesn’t invite a partner to his family events is that he’s embarrassed or ashamed of them.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s ashamed of you for being you. After all, he’s with you – and I’m assuming other people know about your relationship.
It may be a complex situation with some of his family members and how they will judge or think about you. He may be protecting you.
Or…. you may have a really goofy laugh or do embarrassing things? If this is the reason, talk to him. He wants you there I’m sure, he just doesn’t want you to do anything embarrassing.
I’m sure you can be on your best behavior, at least for the first few times you meet his family. Remember, it’s a big deal introducing a partner to family members.
He’s Embarrassed About His Family
On the other hand, it’s possible that he’s embarrassed about his family and doesn’t want you to meet them as he’s worried about what you’ll think.
Family dynamics can be complicated. It may not be the case for you, but your boyfriend may have some annoying family members.
We don’t get to choose our family, and while I’m fortunate enough to say I don’t have any ‘problem’ family members, I’ve met my fair share over the years.
If you guys are going to build a future together, this is something you’re going to have to get past at some point. Be sympathetic, understanding, and sensitive to how he feels about the situation.
His Family Doesn’t Know About You?
It’s worth looking at the larger picture here and asking yourself if he’s keeping you a secret from his family, or just doesn’t want you to meet them?
If he’s not made your relationship public on social media and you’ve never met a single member of his family, you have a bigger issue than just not attending events.
This means he’s not just avoiding a certain person or an awkward situation, he’s trying to keep you and this part of his life a secret for some reason.
Start asking questions.
He Doesn’t See a Future With You
Introducing you to his family is a pretty big commitment. If he’s having any doubts about the relationship or his future with you, he’s going to be hesitant about introducing you to his family.
Look for other signs that he’s not fully committed – or not as committed as you – to the relationship.
Things like; putting his friends before you, not being attentive to you, not making an effort, hanging out less and less, and so on.
Related – 11 Signs he doesn’t see a future with you.
He Has Some Social Anxieties
How comfortable is your boyfriend in social situations in general? Because, if he shows any signs of social anxiety or awkwardness in public, those feelings are going to be intensified at a family event.
Like I said earlier, for most people, it’s a big deal introducing a girlfriend, partner, etc to their family. There’s a lot of pressure there, so combine that with social anxieties, and you have a situation your boyfriend is probably just going to avoid.
Try working with him to find ways to make it easier for him. Maybe you can meet individual members of his family so it’s not such an ‘event’ meeting everyone at the same time.
He’s Fallen Out With Family Members
Does your boyfriend go to family events without you? If he doesn’t, it’s possible he has a problem with one or more of his family members and is on bad terms with them.
If that’s the case, he’s not going to take you to meet them. Family fallouts are all too common and can be complex in nature, but you should do everything you can to encourage him to repair any bridges.
Having the support of family members is incredibly important. Unless they do something unforgivable that can’t be easily passed, we should always try to keep on good terms with family.
While I can’t promise it’s a simple reason why your boyfriend never invites you to family events, hopefully, you now feel much more confident about talking to him about it.
If you’re to have a future together, it’s important you meet his family members and (hopefully) are accepted as an extended member of his family.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes we need to make sacrifices. But it’s worth it.
Image credits – Photo by Inés Castellano on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.