If your relationship has broken down but you have hopes of reconciliation at some point – you should look for signs your ex is leaving the door open.
By ‘leaving the door open’, I mean deliberately making an effort or doing things that make it possible for the two of you to get back together in the future.
As the saying goes, ‘where there is hope there is a chance!’
If you’re after that hope, here are 15 signs your ex is leaving the door open to get back together!
15 Signs Your Ex Is Leaving the Door Open
1. They Don’t Block or Remove You on Social Media
If your ex still has you on their social media platforms (and vice versa), it’s a good sign they’re keeping the door open to reconciliation.
On the flip side, an ex who wants nothing to do with you anymore will usually block or delete you from social media as soon as possible.
On the other hand, if they’ve left things as they were and still follow you – it might mean they’re waiting for you to make the first move or will reach out to you.
2. They Still Initiate Text Conversations or Call You
If your ex still texts you or calls you (especially if they reach out first), it’s a sign they want to keep communication channels open.
It could be for a simple catch-up or because they need something from you – but either way, it shows they’re not ready to cut ties just yet.
And who knows – maybe those catch-ups will turn into something more?
Texting and calling are also low-key ways of checking in on you and seeing how you’re doing – which can be a sign they still care.
3. They Always Reply when You Text or Message Them
Just like initiating text conversations, replying to your messages is also a way of keeping communication channels open.
If they always reply – even if it takes a while – it’s a good sign they’re interested in what you have to say and still want to talk to you.
It might not seem like much, but those replies add up and keep the door open for further conversation (and maybe even reconciliation).
4. They Talk Fondly About the Good Times You Shared
When people talk about their past, it’s usually in a negative light if they want to move on.
But if your ex only ever talks about the good times you shared together, it’s a sign they’re not completely over you just yet.
It might be tough to hear them talk about happy memories when you’re feeling down – but try and take it as a good sign!
It means they still have positive feelings towards you and are keeping the door open for a possible reconciliation.
5. They’ve Been Telling Mutual Friends You’re Special to Them
If you’ve been hearing from mutual friends that your ex has been saying good things about you, it’s a sign they’re not ready to let go just yet.
Talking positively about you to others is their way of keeping you in their life – even if you’re not physically in each other’s lives right now.
They will know that what they’re saying will find its way back to you, even if it’s a subconscious thing it shows that they care.
6. They Show an Interest in How You’re Doing
If your ex goes out of their way to ask how you’re doing, it’s a sign that they want to keep in good contact with you and that means the door is open.
This might mean a casual question in passing or it could be something more in-depth – but either way, it shows they have an interest in your life.
And if they care about how you’re doing, the things happening in both of your lives are going to impact what happens between you going forward.
7. They’re Even More Interested in Your Dating Life
If your ex is not just interested in you but is interested in your dating life, it’s a sign they might want you back.
You’ll know them better than anyone, so I’d be careful what you tell them if you don’t want to upset them or if you want that door left open in the future.
Keep in mind that it might be tough for them to hear about your dating life, but it’s a good sign that they care about you.
8. They Get Jealous when Someone Else Shows an Interest in You
If your ex gets jealous when someone else shows an interest in you, this is one of the classic signs that they still have feelings for you.
Jealousy is a powerful emotion and it doesn’t just go away – especially if those feelings are strong.
It’s a good sign that they want you back and that the door is open for reconciliation.
Just be careful not to use this to your advantage and play games – no matter how you split, it’s not nice toying with someone’s emotions.
9. They Try to Make You Jealous of What They’re Doing
On the flip side, your ex might try and make you jealous of them as a way of making you reach out to them or just regret your decision to split.
They may do this by posting happy pictures on social media, talking about their new partner (if they’re dating someone), or just living their best life where you can see it.
And while it might seem immature, it’s a sign that they care about what you think and how you feel – even if it’s in a negative way.
10. They Still Have Some of Your Belongings
If your ex still has some of your belongings, it’s a sign that they’re not ready to let go and close the door on you or the relationship just yet.
It might be something small like a piece of jewelry or something more sentimental like a photo album.
Either way, it shows that they’re holding on to something from your relationship and that means the door is still open to talk or meet with you at the very least.
11. They Won’t Collect All of Their Belongings from Your Place
This is similar to the point above, if your ex is not ready to collect all of their belongings from your place, it’s a sign that they want to keep some connection with you.
It might be that they don’t want to see you yet or that they want an excuse to see you again – whatever the reason, it’s a good sign.
Unless, that is that they never do get their belongings, but that’s very unlikely. They’d probably get their stuff back as soon as possible if they wanted to close the door on your relationship.
12. They Find Excuses to See You in Person
This is less subtle than most of the points on this list.
If your ex finds excuses to see you in person, it’s a sign that they still want to be around you and they’re not ready to let go just yet.
It might be something as simple as wanting to return something of yours or it could be more complicated like asking for help with something.
But whatever the reason, if they see you as an opportunity to spend time with you, it’s a good sign that they care and that the door is still open.
13. They Are Still in Contact with Your Friends and Family
Staying in contact with your friends and family is a good way for an ex to keep the door to seeing you open, without actually contacting you or making it obvious.
It’s a way of staying in your life without being too obvious about it and it’s also a way of getting information about you from the people who know you best.
You might not even realize that they’re doing it, but if you find out that they’ve been asking your friends or family about you, it’s a sign that they are going out of their way to keep tabs on you.
14. They Mention What Things Would Be Like if You Were Still Together
If your ex brings up in conversation what things would be like if you were still together, it’s a sign that they’re still thinking – even subconsciously – about being with you.
It might be something as innocent as saying how good it was when you were together or it could be more pointed and hurtful like bringing up all the things you did wrong and why they’re better off now.
Either way, it’s not something someone would do if they were completely over you and had closed the door on that chapter of their life.
15. You Can Feel Romantic ‘Tension’ when You See Them
This is more of a feeling than anything else, but if you can feel the romantic ‘tension’ when you see your ex, it’s a sign that they still have feelings for you.
It might be something as simple as the way they look at you or it could be more complicated like the things they say and how they act around you.
You’ll know them better than anyone, if your gut feeling is that they’ve not moved on, that you’re probably right.
How Do You Know When Your Ex Is Truly Done with You?
There are certain signs that your ex is leaving the door open to getting back together with you in the future.
But how do you know when they’re truly done with you and have closed that door for good?
It’s not always easy to tell, but there are a few key things to look out for:
- If they’ve completely cut off all communication with you and blocked you on social media
- If they’ve moved on, are in a new relationship, and don’t even contact you anymore
- If they refuse to see you or talk to you when you try and speak with them
- If they make it clear that they never want to see you again
If your ex shows any of these signs, then it’s likely that the door is closed and there’s no chance of getting back together.
But if they’re still in contact with you, still talk to you and there’s no sign that they’ve moved on, then it’s a good sign that the door is still open.
Only you will know for sure though and only you can decide what to do, you’ll know them and how they behave and are best placed to read in between the lines.
Does Leaving the Door Open Mean You’ll Get Back Together?
Leaving the door open doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get back together, but it’s a good sign that there’s still a chance.
It all depends on both of you and how you feel about each other and whether you’re both willing to work on things and give it another try.
If your ex is showing signs that they’re still interested, then it’s worth talking to them about it and seeing where things go from there.
But if they’re not showing any interest or seem completely indifferent to you, then it might be time to move on and accept that it’s over.
Only you can decide what to do in your situation, but whatever you do make sure you do what’s best for you.
How Long Does It Take for An Ex to Want You Back?
There’s no set time frame for how long it takes for an ex to want to reconcile after a split, it all depends on the situation and the people involved.
Some couples get back together a few weeks after breaking up, others might take months or even years.
It all depends on how much time and effort you’re both willing to put into getting back together and whether you’re both still interested in each other.
If you’re both on the same page and want to give it another try, then there’s a good chance you’ll be able to work things out.
But if one or both of you has moved on and is no longer interested in getting back together, then it’s probably best to accept that it’s over and move on.
Image credits – Photo by Matteo Raw on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.