When texting a girl you like, it’s frustrating and confusing when she never initiates text but always responds quickly.
Is it because she’s not as interested as you are?
Should you keep putting time and effort into the relationship?
I can certainly help put your mind at ease a little by listing the most common reasons why some girls behave like this.
Here are 10 possible reasons why she’s always quick to respond but never seems to text you first and what you should do about it:
10 Reasons Why She Never Initiates Text But Always Responds
1. She’s a Super Busy Person
If she’s constantly on the go and always has something going on, it might be tough for her to find time to text you first.
It’s not the best excuse and I’m not trying to give anyone a free pass as it only takes a minute to send a text, but it’s something to consider.
If this is the case, you should try to be understanding and patient.
Hopefully, she will have more time in the future when things settle down a bit and can initiate more conversations with you then.
2. It’s a Priority Thing as She’s Texting a Lot of Other Guys
Texting can be a bit of a juggling act, especially if you’re talking to multiple people.
If she’s constantly texting other guys and never has any time for you, it might mean that you’re not a priority for her.
It sounds harsh, but it’s a reality that you need to consider.
If this is the case, you could try to talk to her about it and see where you stand in her life.
You might not be a priority to her, but if she’s special to you then you deserve to know where you stand.
3. She Enjoys Being Chased
Some girls enjoy the thrill of the chase and getting guys to text them first.
It sounds a bit silly if you two have some awesome conversations back and forth, but it’s true.
If this is the case, there’s not much you can do about it except try and wait for her to make the first move.
It might be frustrating, but you’ll just have to be patient – it’s a great way to see how much she’s into you.
I just hope it doesn’t backfire!
4. She Finds It Difficult to Know What to Text First
Texting is hard for some people, especially if they’re trying to start a conversation with someone they don’t know that well.
There are so many things that could go wrong and she may be nervous about saying the wrong thing or might be anxious about being left hanging.
If this is the case, try and take the lead and help her out by sending the first text and explain that you’d love to just hear from her first sometimes, no matter if she just sends a smiley emoji!
5. She’s Too Polite to Just Leave You ‘on Read’
When you don’t reply to someone’s text, it’s pretty rude and can often be seen as a ‘digital brush off‘.
She might not want to do that to you as she knows how frustrating it feels, so she responds even if she doesn’t really want to get into a conversation with you.
If this is the case, try and take the hint.
If she’s not interested in talking, there’s no point in trying to force a conversation.
You’ll be better off moving on and finding someone who does want to talk to you.
6. You Text so Often that She Doesn’t Get a Chance to Text First!
You might think that you’re not texting her enough, but she might see that as the opposite and you don’t even realize it.
If you text her all the time, she might feel like she doesn’t need to text you first as she knows you’ll always be texting her in the not-so-distant future.
It’s a bit of a fine line, but try and find a balance between texting her often enough to keep your relationship exciting, but not so often that she feels overwhelmed by it.
7. She’s Unsure About Her Feelings for You
If she’s not sure how she feels about you, it can be tough for her to text you first.
She doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression and might be worried that if she texts you too much, she’ll start to develop feelings for you or give you the impression she likes you more than a friend.
If you think this is the reason, you should talk to her about it and lay your cards on the table about how you feel and where you see your relationship going.
That’ll lessen her anxieties and make it easier for her to text you more freely in the future.
8. She’s Self-Conscious About Bugging You
Some girls just feel self-conscious about things and she might be worrying about whether or not she’s bugging you by texting you first.
It’s possible she doesn’t want to be a bother and might feel like she’s pestering you if she texts you all the time.
This is especially true if you don’t usually respond right away when she does text you, but it’s usually just how some girls think and it’s pretty hard to change.
9. She Just Wants to Be Friends and Not Lead You On
It’s possible she just sees you as a friend and doesn’t want to lead you on by giving you the impression she likes you more than that by texting you first.
She’s probably thinking that if she texts you first, it might give off the wrong idea and she doesn’t want to risk ruining your friendship.
This is a tough one, but if you like her and you make it obvious by the way you text – even if you didn’t think you were being obvious – she might be trying to pull back.
10. She Is Just Bad when It Comes to Thinking of Others
It sounds mean, but some people are just bad when it comes to thinking of others.
It’s reassuring to think that it’s not a personal slight against you, but at the same time it doesn’t feel great to know she never thinks of you first, does it?
It’s possible she is busy with work or school or she might have a lot going on in her personal life that’s taking up all her time and energy.
Or, she just might not be the thoughtful type!
How Do I Get Her to Initiate Text?
There’s no surefire way to get her to start texting you first, but there are certain things you can do that might help.
Talk to Her About It
The best way to try and change the situation is by talking to her about it directly.
Tell her how you feel and explain that you would appreciate it if she texts you first more often.
She might not even realize that she’s doing it and once you point it out to her, she’ll be more conscious of it in the future.
Be More Open Yourself
If you’re not already, try and be more open with her about how you’re feeling and what’s going on in your life.
The more she knows about you, the more likely she is to feel comfortable texting you first about things.
Give Her More Time and Space
It’s possible she just needs some time and space to feel comfortable texting you first.
If you’ve been pushing her to text you more, back off a bit and give her some room.
She might need some time to herself to sort out her feelings before she’s ready to start texting you more.
Does It Mean She Doesn’t Like You if She Never Texts First?
It’s tough to say for sure what it means if she never texts you first, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you.
There could be any number of reasons why she’s not texting you first and it’s important to try and figure out what the reason is before jumping to conclusions.
If you’re really worried about it, the best thing to do is talk to her directly and see what she has to say.
But don’t jump to conclusions and assume it’s because she’s not into you, sometimes that couldn’t be further from the truth.
When Should You Give Up On Texting a Girl?
If you feel like it’s becoming too one-sided and you’re always the one initiating conversations and keeping it flowing, you can end up feeling like it’s not worth it.
It’s hard to say when that point is.
My best advice is to talk to her about why she doesn’t text you as much before jumping to conclusions.
It’s not an easy conversation to have, and you should bring it up casually without making her feel like she’s been letting you down.
But hopefully, she’ll be open and honest with you and you’ll understand where she’s coming from and where you stand in the relationship the two of you have.
What are your thoughts on this topic? I’d love to hear from you, feel free to drop a comment below – thanks!
Image credits – Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.