Is your husband dismissive of your feelings?
Dismissing a loved one’s feelings is called emotional invalidation.
Emotional invalidation can be incredibly painful and seriously harm your self-esteem and self-worth.
Everyone deserves to feel valued, heard, appreciated, and have their feelings and emotions heard and respected.
Here is a look at why some guys dismiss their partner’s feelings and how you can make him realize how he’s behaving:
Husband Is Dismissive of My Feelings – Why Guys Do This
When you’re in a relationship, one of the most hurtful behaviors is when your partner – someone you care about – dismisses your feelings.
This is called emotional invalidation and it often leads to emotional distancing, conflict, damages your self-esteem, and causes a number of other harmful and toxic relationship behaviors.
At its most basic level, when your partner doesn’t take your feelings into consideration, it leaves you feeling like you’re not valued.
The main reasons why guys do this is because they:
- Find it difficult to talk openly or listen to you talk about your feelings
- Don’t understand or know how to deal with the emotions you’re displaying
- Have difficulty empathizing with you due to their personality or feelings for you
- Think your feelings are irrational or invalid because they’re insensitive to your situation or emotions in general
- Are afraid of conflict and don’t want to escalate the situation
- Just simply don’t want to deal with the issue at hand for some reason
Whatever the reason, it’s important to communicate with your partner and let him know how his dismissive behavior is affecting you.
There are no excuses for this kind of behavior, and I know for a fact that every guy can either change or at least start taking steps to be more understanding.
Related – How to deal with a guy who is pulling away for you.
Signs Your Husband Is Emotionally Invalidating Your Feelings
If you suspect your husband is emotionally invalidating your feelings, some of the signs to look out for are:
- He regularly dismisses or discounts your feelings and tries to change the topic
- He tells you that you’re “overreacting” or “being too sensitive” when you open up and talk about how you’re feeling
- He minimizes the significance of what’s bothering you and you don’t feel that he’s taking it seriously
- He gaslights you by making you question your own reality or memory of events
- He has a hard time empathizing with how you’re feeling and tries to tell you how you should be feeling
The bottom line is that your husband needs to start taking your feelings into consideration and learn how to be more understanding.
If he can’t do this, it will only lead to further emotional distance and conflict in your relationship.
What to Do When Your Husband Dismisses Your Feelings
If you can’t make your husband see and admit that he’s dismissing your feelings – whether he’s aware of it or not – then things aren’t going to improve.
It’s a difficult one for a lot of couples because the nature of the issue is that your husband is not going to listen to you and take into account your feelings!
The most effective way of getting through to your husband is through communication, the issue is figuring out how to get through to him.
First of all, you need to try and avoid getting into a heated argument, but make it very clear that his dismissive behavior is hurtful and unacceptable.
If he still doesn’t listen or take your feelings seriously, then you might want to consider counseling or therapy to help you both communicate better.
There is only so much you can do if he’s not able to listen to you. I fully appreciate that.
But what I can tell you is that nothing will change if you do not speak to your husband about it.
The Effects of Not Having Your Feelings Listened To
Not having your feelings listened to by your husband can lead to a number of problems in your relationship, some of which are:
- You’ll start to feel like your husband doesn’t care about you, value you as an equal, or even love you
- You’ll feel emotionally distant from him and may start to withdraw yourself from the relationship
- You may start to doubt yourself and question whether your feelings are valid or not
- You may start to resent him for not taking your feelings into consideration
- Your self-worth will lower over time and your mental health will decline
The bottom line is that it’s important to communicate with your husband and let him know how his dismissive behavior is affecting you.
If he’s not able to listen to you or take your feelings into account, you need to stand firm and tell yourself that your feelings matter – because they do!
Related – Tips for dealing with a moody husband and a guy who plays video games all day!
Can Your Husband Change and Start Taking Your Feelings Into Account
I believe that everyone can change, I really do.
Obviously, I don’t know your husband personally so I can’t tell if he’s going to change or how long it will take.
But if you confront your husband about his behavior and how it makes you feel, I know there is a way that you’ll be able to get through to him.
It might not happen overnight, but if you’re both willing to communicate and work on it, change is definitely possible.
Don’t Forget to Love Yourself!
I also want to point out that working on yourself is just as important as trying to make your husband see how his behavior is damaging your relationship.
A real sense of value and self-worth comes from within.
It’s true that external forces, such as how your husband – the person closest to you – treats you has a huge impact on our self-worth.
But at the end of the day, you need to learn to love and respect yourself first and foremost.
You deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and respect.
If your husband can’t give you that, then it’s time to reassess your relationship.
I hope this article has helped you in some way and that you’ll be able to communicate effectively with your husband about how being dismissive of your feelings is affecting you!
Image credits – Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.