Being dumped hurts, it really does, but when does the break up hit the dumper – if it does at all?
For most dumpers, the ones doing the dumping or splitting, it does hit them at some point that they may have messed up.
But obviously, not every person who dumps someone will be affected.
To better answer this question, here are 10 ways you can tell a break up has hit the dumper and how long it may take:
When Does the Break Up Hit the Dumper? 10 Ways How You Can Tell!
1. They Unblock You on Social Media
This is a big one. When someone blocks you on social media it’s pretty final (at least at the time).
But if they unblock you it means they still want to see what’s going on in your life or they miss you seeing what’s going on in theirs.
If someone who dumped you unblocks you after previously blocking you, it’s a sign that the breakup has hit them.
It’s hard to tell when they’re thinking, they’ll probably let you know in due course now that they’re unblocked you.
2. They Are Asking Mutual Friends how You’re Doing
If your dumper is asking around about you, it’s a sign they still care and are probably struggling with their feelings surrounding the breakup.
They wouldn’t bother to ask if they didn’t have some level of guilt or feelings left for you.
It might not be love, but it’s something!
This usually happens a few weeks after the breakup but it’s hard to say as everyone has a different timeline.
3. They Reach out To You to Find out How You’re Doing
Reaching out to you is a sign that they want to talk and hear your voice if it’s an actual phone call.
It might not be to get back together, but it’s a start!
This usually happens a few weeks after the breakup as well.
Breaking up is hard, whether you’re the dumper or the dumped. There is a good chance they miss you or that things aren’t going so well for them since you split.
They may want to speak with you for some familiarity, to see how you’re doing, or to set the wheels of reconciliation in motion.
4. They Keep ‘Accidentally’ Bumping Into You
If the person who dumped you keeps on accidentally bumping into you in person, it’s probably no accident.
At least, if they didn’t want to bump into you I’m sure they’d find a way of avoiding doing so.
This might be their way of testing the waters to see if you’re still interested and how you react when you do see them.
Or it might be because they miss you and feel bad about dumping you, only they know the answer!
5. You Hear from Friends They Regret Dumping You
If you hear from friends or family that the person who dumped you regrets doing so, it’s a sign that they definitely miss you.
They might not say it outright, but those closest to them will know how they’re really feeling.
It can be hard for someone to admit they made a mistake, especially when it comes to breaking up – so they might talk about it to friends knowing full well it’ll make its way back to you.
6. They Want to Know if You’re Dating Someone New
If the person who dumped you wants to know if you’ve moved on and are dating someone new, it means they’re not over you.
It also might be a way of trying to make themselves feel better by knowing that you’re struggling as much as they are!
This is usually done indirectly, such as through mutual friends.
But if they come right out and ask you, it means they definitely still have feelings for you and they’re being hit by the whole situation.
7. You Can See They’re Jealous of How Well You’re Doing without Them
If your ex is jealous of how well you’re doing without them, it means they miss you.
They might not show it outright, but you’ll be able to tell by their actions or the things they say.
It’s human nature to want what we can’t have, and if they see you moving on and being happy without them and it’s making them sad, they’re clearly not over the breakup.
This is always a classic sign that a dumper regrets or realizes they made a mistake.
8. They Don’t Want to Give You All of Your Belongings Back
If the person who dumped you is holding on to your belongings or keeps changing their mind about giving them back, it’s their way of retaining some power or control over you.
They might not want to admit it, but they’re either subconsciously or deliberately trying to keep a part of you with them.
It might be something small, such as a t-shirt or a book, or it might be something bigger like furniture or owing you money.
Either way, it’s a sign that they miss you and they’re not ready to draw a line and move on after dumping you.
9. They Reminisce on The Good Times You Had Together
When people are struggling to forget about someone, they often dwell on the good times they had together.
It’s a way of trying to hold on to those happy memories and feeling like they’re still a part of your life, even if only in their thoughts.
If the person who dumped you keeps bringing up the good times you had together, it’s a sure sign they miss you and they regret breaking up with you.
10. You Can See or ‘Feel’ that They Are Feeling Bad About Dumping You
One of the most reliable and often satisfying ways you know a breakup has hit the dumper is when you can literally sense that they’re feeling bad.
They might not want to admit it, but if they’re struggling with the breakup just as much as you are, their actions and body language cues will give them away.
It’s hard to say how long it’ll take for a dumper to be hit by a breakup and when you’ll be able to tell, but you’ll know when it happens.
What Happens to The Dumper After a Breakup?
I’m not sure if it’ll help to know this, but the dumper will usually regret dumping you, especially if they were the one who initiated the breakup.
It can hit them hard when they realize what they’ve lost and how much they miss you.
They might try to reach out or talk to you indirectly, but it’s up to you whether or not you want to give them another chance.
All you can do is live your best life and try not to let them and their actions bring you down.
That’s the most reliable way you make them feel bad in some way if that’s what you want to do.
How Long Does It Take for The Dumper to Regret Breaking Up?
Unfortunately, there’s no set amount of time it takes for the dumper to regret breaking up, but usually, it happens sooner rather than later.
It all depends on how attached they were to you and how invested they were in the relationship.
If they still have strong feelings for you, they might regret dumping you as soon as they’ve done it.
But if they were on the fence about the relationship or they’re the type of person who takes a while to process things, it might take them a little longer to realize what they’ve lost.
In any case, you’ll know when it happens because their actions will speak for themselves.
Does No Contact Work on The Dumper?
The no contact rule is when you cut off all communication with the person who dumped you for a certain period of time, usually anywhere from 30 to 60 days.
The point of it is to give them (and yourself) time to miss each other and reflect on the relationship.
It can be an effective way to make the dumper realize what they’ve lost and make them regret dumping you.
But it’s not for everyone and it might not work in every situation.
If you’re thinking about using the no contact rule, make sure you’re prepared to lose contact with them and know what you’re getting yourself into before you commit to it.
Image credits – Photo by Fikran Jabbart on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.