In a breakup, the one who does the dumping rarely comes out of the split totally unaffected – no matter how they act.
But when does the dumper start missing the dumpee?
That’s a hard one to answer, as each breakup is unique.
What I can tell you is that most dumpers do miss the person they dumped or mourn the relationship at some point.
If you’re wondering if your ex will miss you, here’s an explanation of how most splits go:
When Does the Dumper Start Missing the Dumpee?
When two people split, no matter the reason for the split and who is to blame, it’s impossible for both parties not to be affected emotionally.
Even if one person in the relationship wants out and becomes the dumper, it’s rare they will not miss the person they dumped, the dumpee, at all.
This is because the two of you spent a lot of time together and shared some magical moments and experiences.
You gave each other to one another, and no matter how rocky your relationship was while it lasted, you’re going to be intertwined in some ways for the rest of your lives.
To answer when a dumper will start to miss the person they dumped, this is hard to answer as everyone is different.
As a general idea, however, most dumpers go through a period of missing the person they dumped or the relationship itself soon after the split.
This is because, as I said before, you shared a lot together and have memories that will last a lifetime.
It’s only natural for the dumper to mourn the loss of what was, even if it wasn’t perfect.
Then there is often another period of missing the dumpee sometime in the future when they stop to think about how things could have been compared to their lives at that point.
Can You Make the Person Who Dumped You Miss You More?
If you’re wondering if there’s anything you can do to make the person who dumped you miss you more, there are some things that can work:
- First and foremost, you need to give them space. If they want out of the relationship, they likely need some time apart from you to figure things out.
- Secondly, try not to badmouth them to mutual friends or talk about them all the time. This will only make you look bitter and spiteful.
- You could also do some things on social media to make them jealous. Such as posting how well you’re doing and even doing things you know they would enjoy.
The bottom line is that if you want your ex to miss you, you need to show them that they’re missing out on something!
How Long Does It Take a Dumper to Move On?
Again, this is different for everyone.
The dumper may start dating someone new right away to try and forget about the pain of the breakup.
Or, they may take their sweet time before getting into another relationship.
There is no set timeline for when a dumper will move on. It all depends on the person and how they’re coping with the split.
If you’re wondering if your ex has moved on, the best thing to do is ask them directly or look at their social media to see if they’re dating someone new.
What I can tell you is that even if your ex is seeing someone else and seems happy on the outside.
This doesn’t mean they’re not hurting on the inside and missing you.
How Often Does the Dumper Come Back?
This is a question I get asked a lot, and the answer is that it really depends.
There are some dumpers who never look back and never regret their decision to end things.
But there are also dumpers who come back months or even years later begging for another chance.
It’s hard to say why this is because, again, everyone is different.
If you want your ex back, the best thing you can do is give them space and time to miss you.
Eventually, they may come to their senses and realize they made a mistake in leaving you.
Don’t ever burn that bridge or be spiteful or hurtful towards them, no matter how difficult it is for you in the face of what’s happened.
Does No Contact Affect the Dumper?
If you’re wondering if going no contact will affect the dumper, the answer is yes.
This means no texting, calling, social media, emailing, or anything else. A lot of people will go as far as to disappear off social media altogether.
It can be a difficult thing to do, but it’s often very effective at getting an ex to reach out and try to find out what you’re up to.
This opens the door to a reconciliation of sorts. From there, it’s up to you how you want to proceed.
Is It Possible the Dumper Will Not Miss the Dumpee at All?
It’s possible that the dumper will not miss the dumpee at all. This is rare, but it can happen.
If the dumper was unhappy in the relationship and relieved to be out of it, they may not have any regrets or second thoughts.
I hate to tell you this if you’re holding out on the hope that your ex will miss you, but you need to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.
It’s not fun, but it’s better to be prepared for the possibility that they may never miss you and move on with their lives.
What’s important is that you’re able to look forward and focus on yourself and your own happiness!
Image credits – Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.