If you haven’t talked to your wife in three weeks, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that the two of you have things to sort out.
Whatever happened and however you feel about the situation, if you want to save your marriage, you need to reach out and talk to your wife.
Not only save your marriage, but it’s also important that you set the foundation so that a silent period like this doesn’t happen again.
Is It Normal for Couples to Not Talk for Weeks?
It’s not common, but it’s also not unheard of for couples to go through periods where they don’t talk.
However, three weeks is a very long time not to talk, especially if the two of you are living under the same roof!
If you’re worried that this is a sign that your marriage is in trouble, first take some time to consider how you and your wife usually communicate.
Do you feel like you can talk to her about anything?
Do you feel like she’s listening when you do talk?
These are all important factors to consider.
If this is a very unusual situation, or if you’ve never gone silent on each other before, it’s a sign that there is a serious issue to overcome.
It’s possible you’ve never been stressed to this point before, and that’s fine. It’s how you tackle this situation that counts.
What to Do if You Haven’t Talked to Your Wife in Three Weeks
If you haven’t talked to your wife in three weeks, whatever has happened I think it’s best that you take the lead and reach out and try to start a conversation.
This can be difficult, especially if you think she’s still fuming and hasn’t shown any sign of coming forward herself.
However, someone has to take the lead, so it might as well be you.
There is truth in the old saying that the first step is the most important.
If you don’t take that step, how many more weeks is this silent treatment going to last?
If you can’t bring this up to her face-to-face, send her a text or message on some other platform you know she’ll see.
However you make contact, the important thing is that you do make contact – and that you aren’t hostile, angry, bitter, or bearing any grudge.
The Silent Treatment Damages Relationships
The silent treatment is never a healthy way to communicate (or not communicate), and it will always damage your relationship in some way.
It can be hard to break out of the cycle once it starts, but it’s so important that you do.
If you’re on the receiving end of this treatment, don’t just sit and take it.
Reach out to your partner and try to start a conversation.
If you’re the one giving the silent treatment, take a step back and try to consider why you’re doing it.
It’s not going to help anything, and it will only make things worse in the long run.
The reason most people turn silent is because they cannot communicate their feelings in the first place, so it’s easier to just clam up and ignore the problems.
But as I’m sure you know, ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away, it only makes the problems worse.
Reach out With a Gift And/Or a Peace Offering
If you want to try and break the silence in a more creative way, you could always reach out with a gift or some sort of peace offering.
This doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, but it should be something that shows you’re thinking about her and that you want to make things right.
A handwritten letter is always a nice gesture, but if you want to go the extra mile you could cook her dinner, buy her flowers, or do something special for her.
The important thing is that you’re trying to make an effort to reach out and connect with her.
Make it clear that you’re not trying to sweep any issues under the rug or avoid talking about them – that’s what got you into this situation.
Tell your wife that you’re sorry, but you want to talk about your issues openly and get to the bottom of how you ended up avoiding each other for three weeks.
Work on Your Communication so This Doesn’t Happen Again
It’s not enough to just patch things up and move on – if you want to save your marriage and not have another silent period in the future, you need to work on your communication.
It can be difficult to do this on your own, especially if you’re ending up going three weeks at a time without speaking when you fall out.
You shouldn’t rule out speaking with a therapist. A professional will be able to help you and your wife to communicate more effectively and really get to the root of your problems.
Either way, one thing I can almost guarantee is that if you don’t learn how to communicate openly, you’re going to end up frustrated and giving each other the silent treatment again at some point!
Image credits – Photo by Racim Amr on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.