Are you being ghosted or ignored by the father of your child?
This is always incredibly frustrating as good communication between you and the father of your child is important for the well-being of your kid.
Whether he’s a deadbeat dad, just inconsistent, avoiding you for a reason, or something else – your kid needs their dad in their life.
Here’s what to do when your baby daddy ignores you to get that relationship back:
What to Do When Your Baby Daddy Ignores You?
So, your baby daddy is ignoring you.
Maybe you’ve tried calling them, reaching out on social media, or involving their family without luck.
If they are deliberately ignoring you, it’s going to be difficult to get their attention and have them respond.
But that doesn’t mean you should give up. For the sake of your child, you need to have a good relationship with them and they need to be a part of your kid’s life.
Here’s how I would approach talking to them and ensuring they don’t ignore you in the future:
Find out Why They Are Ignoring You
Before jumping to conclusions, the first step is to find out why they are ignoring you.
You never know, they might not even be deliberately ignoring you!
There could be a variety of reasons to explain their behavior, things like:
- They’re busy and don’t have time for you
- They’re going through some difficult times themselves and need space
- They’re avoiding you because they don’t know how to deal with the situation
- They’re mad at you for something and think ghosting you will hurt you
- They’re just immature and have some growing up to do
- They’re not ready or willing to man up and accept their responsibilities
For the record, none of the above are valid excuses – far from it.
However, it’s important you know exactly why your baby daddy is ignoring you if you’re going to find a solution.
If you can’t figure out the reason yourself, you could try asking their friends or family if they know what’s going on.
Speak with Them and Find a Solution
Once you know why they’re ignoring you, you have to speak with them directly about it.
This can be a difficult and daunting task, but it’s important you try to resolve the issue instead of letting it fester.
You could start by reaching out to them again (maybe in a different way) and see if they respond this time.
It might help to let them know that you’re aware of why they’re ignoring you, and tell them that you want to talk about how you guys can get past it.
If they still don’t respond, you could try going to their house or place of work (if you know where that is) and speaking with them in person so they can’t simply ignore you.
If they still won’t speak to you, then you may have no other option but to give them time.
I think that once you tell them you’re willing to work things out and if you give them the impression you’re willing to see their side of things, they will at least talk to you.
It’s then up to you to find a solution that your baby daddy will be happy enough with that he no longer feels the need to ignore or avoid you.
You can then get him to be a bigger part of his child’s life, which is the real goal here.
Explain Why It’s Important They Are Involved in Your Child’s Life
Your baby daddy may not be interested in you, but he should be interested in his child.
Even if he isn’t the best father, every child deserves to have their father in their life and it has a huge impact on their development.
You should try to explain this to him and let him know that his child needs him – even if you two don’t get along.
If he still doesn’t want to be involved, then you should consider involving his family or even getting the law involved if he’s skipping on child payments.
Sometimes, it takes someone else telling them how important it is before they finally realize it themselves.
You shouldn’t have to beg or plead with your baby daddy to be a part of your child’s life, but if that’s what it takes then so be it.
The main thing is that you try to resolve the issue in a way that is best for your child.
Try and Set Some Rules or Boundaries You’re Both Happy With
If your baby daddy is starting to become more involved in your child’s life, it’s important you set some rules or boundaries so everyone knows where they stand.
This will help to avoid any further conflict between you and your baby daddy, and it will also make things easier for your child.
You could set rules about when and where he can see your child, how much contact he can have with them, and what kind of role he will play in their life.
You could even set some rules around the kind of contact the two of you have if that’s what it takes to make him more comfortable with the situation.
The bottom line is that it’s important you’re both on the same page about these things so there is no confusion or misunderstanding.
Learn Not to Expect Too Much from Them
There is nothing worse than continually being let down.
Take his behavior right now as an example of what he’s capable of, and try not to get too drawn into his promises or think that he will not let you down again in the future.
The most important thing to remember is that you can’t force someone to respond to you, or even to be a father if they don’t want to be one.
You can try your best to persuade them and even threaten them with legal action, but at the end of the day it’s up to them whether they want to be involved in their child’s life or not.
The best thing you can do is to be the best parent you can be, and hope that one day they will realize what they’re missing out on.
And if they never do, then at least you know you did everything you could!
Image credits – Photo by John Tuesday on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.