If your husband plays video games instead of helping with baby, especially a newborn, something has to change.
But I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.
It’s a matter of how you’re going to get him to change, right?
There are ways you can get through to him and make him see the strain he’s putting on your relationship – and how he’s missing out on bonding with his child!
Here are some tips to help you find a solution:
Husband Plays Video Games Instead of Helping With The Baby
It’s demanding and (extremely) tiring being a parent of a baby, toddler, or child.
This is only compounded if your partner isn’t pulling their weight. Or worse, you see them play games and having fun while you’re changing diapers and feeding your baby!
However, I’m confident you can help your husband see the error of his ways and change his behavior.
Here are some of the key things you need to confront if you want to get your husband away from the Xbox or PC and helping you with your baby:
Related – My wife left me because I play too many video games!
You Have to Speak Openly About It With Him
The first and most important thing is that you sit down with your husband and speak with him about how you feel.
It’s not going to be easy, but you need to pick a time when the baby isn’t crying or distracting you, and he’s not in front of his computer playing games.
It might not be easy to find that time. But there are no excuses, you absolutely have to do it.
You need to explain calmly and rationally how you feel, and why you think he should change his behavior.
If he’s anything like most men, he’s probably not even aware of how much his gaming is affecting you, the baby, and how he could be better bonding with his child.
So it’s important that you make him see how it makes you feel, and why it’s important to you that he helps out more.
You might be surprised at how receptive he is once you start talking about it!
Don’t Give Him an Ultimatum
While it might be tempting to give your husband an ultimatum – “It’s either the video games or me!” – this is only going to lead to problems.
If you go into this conversation with an ultimatum, he’s going to feel like you’re attacking him and his hobbies.
It’s important that you make it clear that you’re not trying to take away his hobbies, you just want him to balance them better with his responsibilities as a father.
There is time for gaming (in between changing diapers and feeding!), he just needs to adjust to life as a dad and put the needs of you and his baby first.
Help Him to Get Help if He’s Addicted
If your husband is truly addicted to video games, then you might need to get him some help.
This is always a difficult thing to confront, but there are organizations that can help people with gaming addiction.
You can find more information on resources and support groups here:
The American Addiction Centers – Video Game Addiction
Addiction is a serious issue. If your husband is addicted, he needs to address the root cause of his addiction first.
He’s not going to be able to simply compromise or start helping out more with your baby just because he wants to if he’s addicted.
Look for an Underlying Reason Why He’s Not Helping
Your husband might be gaming all night or in his spare time and not helping out with your child, but is this the only reason why he’s not helping?
Some guys find it hard to adjust to being a dad or simply do not feel confident in the parental role and need a little help.
There is nothing wrong or unusual about that, but it’s important that you try and understand the root cause of his behavior.
Guys often use games and immerse themselves online as a way to escape the things they don’t want to face up to in real life.
It’s not an excuse for his behavior, but it’s important to try and understand the underlying reasons why he might need some help.
He Can Still Play Video Games With a Newborn
Just because you now have a baby, it doesn’t mean your husband can’t still play his video games.
It’s important to find a balance between everything, and that includes his hobbies and responsibilities.
You might need to set some ground rules though, such as no gaming during certain hours or only playing for a certain amount of time each day/week.
Once he gets into the swing of things helping out and has some of his own responsibilities with your child everything should fall into place.
I just thought it was important to know – and to let your husband know – that he can still have his fun time, but he also has parental responsibilities too!
Related – Would your husband rather play video games than spend time with you?
Video Games Do Ruin Relationships!
It’s also important to know that video game addiction or neglect due to playing video games does ruin relationships.
In fact, it’s estimated that one spouse spending too much time playing video games may account for as much as 15% of divorces in the US!
So if your husband is playing video games all the time and not helping out with your baby, it’s important to have a serious conversation about it.
It might not seem like a big deal now, but it could have a major effect on your relationship down the line if it’s not addressed and your stress levels keep mounting.
If you’re still struggling to get through to him, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help from friends, family, or even professional resources.
Image credits – Photo by kabita Darlami on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.