Does it feel like – or is it obvious – that your partner, fiance, or husband would rather play video games than spend time with you?
Video game addiction is not something to take lightly, neither is being ignored in a relationship!
I know how it feels. It hurts being left to spend evenings alone while your husband has fun with his friends online.
If video games are ruining your marriage, here are some tips on how to talk to your husband about it and make him change his ways!
My Husband Would Rather Play Video Games Than Spend Time With Me – Help!
Essentially, there are three key things you need to do to get your husband to see how his behavior is affecting you, how he can change his ways, and how you can be happier.
- Open up and communicate with him
- Find a healthy balance and set some ground rules
- Make sure you have your own hobbies and interests
Here’s how you need to tackle each of these points:
Related – If your wife left you because of your video game addiction – read this!
Improve Communication With Your Husband
If you’re not communicating openly with your husband about how his video gaming is affecting you, then he probably doesn’t realize the magnitude of the problem!
Men are often quite clueless when it comes to these things, so it’s important that you sit down with him and explain exactly how you’re feeling.
Try to avoid sounding confrontational or nagging, and instead approach him by saying you know how much fun he’s having, but it’s affecting you.
It’s also important to remember that you’re not attacking him as a person, but rather his behavior.
There are a number of ways this conversation can go, but if you don’t talk about it openly you’re never going to find a solution – it’s that simple.
Access How Much Time He’s Spending Playing Games
I think it’s fair to say that the both of you will have a different idea about what is ‘too much’ time spent in front of the computer, Xbox, or whatever he’s playing on.
It’s important to take an objective look at how much time he’s spending playing games and whether or not it’s getting in the way of his work life, other chores around the house, and just how much he’s neglecting you.
By highlighting these things, it should help bring some more perspective to the situation for him.
You also need to try and set some boundaries or limit the time he’s spending playing games.
This is a tough topic to bring up with guys. He’s going to feel like he’s being treated like a kid (well, he’s acting like a big kid!), so you need to be careful how you word this.
Try to reach a compromise where he helps out around the house before playing games, set some date nights aside, and help him to see that he shouldn’t be playing all hours of the night if it’s causing him to be tired for work.
Make Sure You Have Your Own Interests
Whether you’re able to get through to your husband or not, it’s important you have your own hobbies and interests to focus on.
It’s healthy for a relationship to want to spend time away from our spouse and with friends or do some of the things we enjoy.
It can be easy to forget this when you feel like your husband is spending too much time playing video games, but it’s important for both of you to have some independence.
This will help you feel more fulfilled in yourself and less resentful towards him.
By having your own hobbies, you’re also giving him the space he needs to enjoy his video games without feeling like he’s neglecting you.
It can be a delicate balance, but it’s one you need to find if you want to improve your relationship!
Do Couples Break up Over Video Games?
I’m not trying to scare you, but couples do break up over video games.
It’s more common than it’s ever been, too, due to the fact that video games and interacting online are also more popular than ever.
It doesn’t have to be this way though, and there are usually other underlying issues in a relationship that got to the point where a couple split up.
This is typically a lack of communication in the first place that led to one person playing games and not wanting to spend time with their partner.
Some guys become withdrawn and start spending more time online to try and ignore the issues they’re dealing with in real life, it’s a way to escape and not face those issues head-on.
Make sure you’re there for your husband and willing to listen to him and help if he has some stuff on his mind.
Don’t just go straight to blaming the games or getting angry at him and accusing him of not caring about you.
I’m sure he does care about you.
After all, you’re married and I bet you’ve been through a lot together. It really does come down to communication and connecting again.
Image credits – Photo by Liks Digital on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.