Have you stopped cooking for your husband?
Or, maybe you want to stop cooking for him but can’t bring yourself to do so?
If your husband expects you to cook or doesn’t appreciate your efforts, you shouldn’t feel bad about not cooking for him.
In this modern-day, women aren’t – or shouldn’t be – expected to cook, it should be something that you want to do!
Why Do You Cook for Your Husband?
The most common reason why women cook for their husbands is because they saw their mothers taking up this role, and it’s normal for kids to follow their parents.
Another reason is that they feel it’s their ‘duty’ as a wife.
And I get that, I do.
Personally, I don’t agree with it being a duty of any kind.
I think the only reason why someone should take the lead with the cooking – or any chores – is because they want to do it.
Or, if it works out as making the most sense to the functioning of the home because you’re home all day and your husband works.
So, what is the reason why you do (or did) most of the cooking in your home?
If it was because you thought it was expected of you, I’m sure it became a chore, right?
This is perfectly normal and is the main reason why so many women get to a point where they no longer want to cook.
Related – If you wife doesn’t cook or clean you’ll want to read this!
Should Your Husband Expect You to Cook for Him?
The answer to this is a resounding no!
Certain cultures aside, if your husband expects you to cook for him, he’s living in the past.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t cook if you want to – I’m just saying that your husband shouldn’t expect it of you.
And, if he does expect it, maybe it’s time to have a conversation about why that is.
Many women stop cooking for their husbands because they realized that they were doing it out of obligation, not because they wanted to.
Even if you’re home and your husband works, he still shouldn’t expect his dinner on the table.
If this is currently how he thinks, you need to discuss this and let him know that you’re happy to help out doing the cooking, but you’re not a maid.
It wouldn’t harm for him to offer to cook or pick something up on the way home once a week.
Are You Tired of Cooking for Your Husband?
If you’re simply tired of cooking, I don’t blame you.
It’s hard work, especially if you have a full-time job as well. And, yes, looking after kids all day is a full-time job!
If you’re at the point where you don’t want to cook anymore, you have to talk to your husband about it.
See if there’s a way that you can take turns cooking or, better yet, see if you can swap roles for a week or two so he can step into your shoes.
If he agrees to that, I bet he’ll end up flustered after a day or two and by the end of the trial period, he’ll have a newfound appreciation for everything you do!
Does Your Husband Ever Reject Your Food?
One of the other reasons why women stop cooking for their husbands is if they reject their food or don’t eat it.
I mean, why would you feel like cooking every day if you never know if your husband is going to eat it, and he clearly doesn’t appreciate it?
If your husband has ever rejected your food, it’s hurtful.
Especially if you’ve slaved over a hot stove for hours only for him to say it’s gross, it’s something he didn’t want, or because he’s in a mood.
If this is a regular occurrence, I don’t blame you for not wanting to cook anymore.
If your husband can’t appreciate your efforts, maybe it’s time to stop cooking for him.
It’s not worth your time and energy if he can’t even show a little appreciation.
Taking action is the only way you’re going to get him to change his ways and see how his actions are affecting you.
Related – More on what to do if your husband or partner rejects your food.
Everything Can Be Resolved Through Communication
If you’re not happy with the current state of affairs in your home, I urge you to talk to your husband about it.
It may just be something to do with cooking as I’ve covered in this article, but it may also be a sign that there are some other underlying issues.
Either way, nothing will change if you don’t communicate what you want and need from him.
I know it’s hard, in fact, it’s very difficult to talk to some guys about a topic like this.
But it will be worth it in the long run.
If you don’t talk about it, your options are; to either quit cooking for him and face the fallout head-on, or to suffer in silence.
Neither of which are good options.
So, to cook or not to cook or whether or not you’re going to be cooking for your husband going forward or not, you can find a happy place between the two of you if you talk about it openly!
Image credits – Photo by Tina Dawson on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
2 thoughts on “I Stopped Cooking for My Husband (Why It’s a Good Decision!)”
Would you feel alright if another woman cook for your husband
I’ve reached this point after 18 years of marriage and constantly being cheated on. I cooked, cleaned, had 7 babies all those years only for him to tell me that I never cooked for him. Now I cook when I feel like it and stopped trying to feel so obligated to cook for a man who hasn’t cooked for me in 18 years. Even the woman he cheated with didn’t cook for him or do his laundry. I tried to give him to her but she ran off. He didn’t even want to leave because he saw how much I do for him and how she does none of that. I feel like I hate people who take advantage of nice people.
Dear Anthony above on June 4, 2022 comment: a wife not cooking for her man isn’t what causes another woman to cook for her man. A man who has no morals and standards causes a woman to no longer want to cook for her man. You men always try to blame the woman for yalls inability to be trustworthy. Then yall want the woman to remain loyal with all the BULLS**T she puts up with from you.