If your girlfriend talks bad about you behind your back, you deserve better – it’s as simple as that.
I’m not suggesting you dump her and move on, she may deserve another chance.
The best thing you can do is figure out why she talks bad about you behind your back, how she really feels about you, and what you want from your relationship.
Here is how I would approach getting to the bottom of this with her!
What To Do if Your Girlfriend Talks Bad About You Behind Your Back – 6 Tips!
1. Make Sure You Know She Is Talking Bad About You
The first step is to make sure that your girlfriend is actually talking bad about you behind your back.
This may seem like an obvious one, but it’s important to rule out any possibility that you’re just feeling paranoid or someone is giving you bad information.
If you storm in and start accusing your girlfriend of saying stuff and you’re wrong, you’re going to end up in an awkward situation.
Once you have concrete evidence that your girlfriend is talking bad about you behind your back (e.g., you’ve heard her say it, you have screenshots, etc.), then you can move on to the next step!
2. Take a Look at What She’s Been Saying
The next step is to take a look at what your girlfriend has been saying about you behind your back.
This is important for two reasons:
First, it will give you an idea of how bad the situation actually is. If she’s just been venting to her friends about some minor annoyances, then it might not be as big of a deal as you think.
Second, it will give you an idea of what she’s actually unhappy about. This can be helpful in trying to figure out how to fix the problem.
If your girlfriend has been saying bad things about you behind your back, instead of just having a go at her, sometimes it helps to address the issues.
3. Talk to Her About It and See if She Admits It
Regardless of what your girlfriend has been saying about you and how valid it may be, talking to others and bad-mouthing you is obviously not the right way to go about it.
The most important part of this entire process is that you’re able to talk to her openly about it.
You’ll know her better than anyone and what it will take for her to open up, but as a general rule, it’s advisable that you don’t come across as accusatory or confrontational in any way.
You need to figure out why she feels the need to talk about you to other people and not directly to you, and only she knows that answer.
See if she’s willing to admit that she’s been talking bad about you, you should be able to get to the bottom of her behavior and stop it from happening in the future.
4. Explain How It Makes You Feel
Most of the time people are not aware of how their actions affect us, and it’s only when they do that they really feel compelled to change.
For this reason, it’s important that you open up and tell her how it made you feel to find out that she’d been saying bad things about you to other people.
Obviously, this doesn’t feel good to anyone. But a lot of people need to hear it to really understand it.
This also gives you the opportunity to see how she reacts and whether or not she seems truly remorseful about what she did.
5. Take a Look at How Healthy Your Relationship Is
If your girlfriend is talking bad about you behind your back, it might be a good idea to take a step back and assess how healthy your relationship actually is.
There are a lot of different factors that go into a healthy relationship, but some key things to look for are trust, communication, and mutual respect.
If you’re not able to trust your girlfriend or feel like you can’t communicate openly with her, then it’s clear you have some issues to work on.
6. See if She’s Able or Willing to Change
Talking about it and seeing her feel bad is one thing, but if she’s not able or willing to change then you really can’t move forward.
This is something you’re going to need to figure out together.
Are you willing to give her another chance? Is she willing to change her behavior? If not, then it might be time to move on.
No one deserves to be treated poorly, regardless of the reason.
It’s hurtful, embarrassing, and frustrating to know your girlfriend is talking bad about you behind your back, and there are only so many chances you can give her.
When someone talks bad about someone else behind their back it’s basically gossiping. People do this because they don’t feel like they can talk to the person face-to-face, are jealous, or are just troublemakers.
It’s not advisable to listen to hearsay. If you think or have been told someone is talking about you behind your back, always speak to them directly or look for actual evidence before jumping to conclusions.
People can always change their habits and stop talking bad about others. It’s a tough habit for some people to stop, but everyone is capable of changing!
Image credits – Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.