Overthinking something to do with a girl may seem like a small thing, but it can strain your relationship and seriously harm your mental health.
Simply not thinking so much about something is easier said than done, especially when it’s about a girl you like.
But there are a lot of things you can do to get your overthinking under control.
Here are 11 things you should focus on to stop overthinking about a girl and start living a healthier life with stronger relationships free of worry:
11 Ways to Stop Overthinking About a Girl
1. Ask Yourself Why You’re Overthinking So Much
This sounds obvious, but have you stopped and asked yourself why you are overthinking so much about this girl?
Sometimes we need to be honest with ourselves before we can tackle the way we’re thinking.
While it’s usually due to insecurities in some form, there will be a more specific reason why you’re overthinking things – and only you can really unlock that.
2. Don’t Read ‘Between the Lines’
One of the worst things you can do as someone who overthinks things is to try and read between the lines.
Doing so will only make you conjure up more scenarios, ideas, and theories.
Work from facts and things you can see and reason with. Don’t jump to conclusions and raise more questions for your mind to spin around answering.
3. Enjoy The Relationship for What It Is
Whatever your relationship is with the girl you’re thinking about all the time, you need to focus more on the good and less on the ‘what if’s’.
Overthinking means you think about something too much. You’re coming up with questions and scenarios that aren’t necessary, and it’s doing more harm than good.
You need to draw a line and enjoy what you have with this girl, whether that’s just as friends or a partner. Be present in the moment.
4. Don’t Try to Read Their Body Language
Much like reading between the lines when she is talking, trying to get a read on her body language can also be dangerous.
I’d usually recommend trying to read someone’s body language, but for an overthinker, it’s only going to open up more questions.
You need to learn to take things at face value. If she’s smiling, she’s happy. If she’s annoyed and told you she’s having a bad day, that’s all it is.
5. Don’t React to Them Right Away
Most overthinkers brain’s start working faster and faster when the person they’re thinking about is not around or hasn’t contacted them.
You need to get to a point where you’re not waiting to hear from her, and you don’t jump the moment you do hear from her.
Don’t drop everything the moment she texts or calls. You need to condition yourself not to spend so much time thinking or wondering what she is doing.
6. Identify ‘Triggers’ Causing You to Overthink
If you are going to stop overthinking, you absolutely must address the underlying reasons why you’re overthinking.
The three basic things that underly overthinking are stress, anxiety, and insecurity. All of which can be worked on.
In the case of overthinking a girl, this may be due to past trauma you experienced in a relationship.
It’s not going to be easy, but you’ll have to do some deep and honest digging into your psyche to figure out why you’re overthinking about a girl.
7. Talk About Your Insecurities With Her
This will not apply to everyone, but if you’re in the position to talk to the girl in question about your insecurities it can help a lot.
If we’re talking about a new girlfriend, for example, and you’ve been hurt before, as vulnerable as it’ll make you feel you should talk about this with her.
Any girlfriend that cares about their partner would want to hear why they’re insecure and would want to help them.
Related – How to ask someone “where is this going”?
8. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
I’m not suggesting you change your friends. But, if you can surround yourself with more positive people who will keep your overthinking in check, it’ll help.
On the flip side, if you hang out with overthinkers or people who feed your insecurities you’re only going to overthink everything a lot more.
9. Work on Yourself
When facing any personal challenges and the need to change the way we think, we must address our actions and work to improve ourselves.
Different things work for different people. What I can tell you, however, is that breathing exercises and meditation are a great place to start.
I’ve used meditation to change the way I think and behave for the better. I’ve seen the power of using just 10 minutes a day to focus on myself and can’t recommend it highly enough.
10. Keep Yourself Busy
The busier you keep yourself, the less time you’ll have to overthink – or even think – about things that you don’t want to be thinking about.
This isn’t a good technique for ignoring feelings and emotions, as they will only intensify over time.
But when it comes to calming an overactive mind, keeping busy is an effective way to lessen those intrusive thoughts.
11. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
The worst thing you can do is suffer from overthinking about a girl alone – I know how tormenting it can be.
Leaning on your network of friends and family can go a long way to helping you think about her less, just by talking through your thoughts.
If that doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. You shouldn’t suffer alone, there are therapists specializing in overthinking that will be able to help.
Why Am I Overthinking So Much About My GF?
If you’re overthinking everything to do with your girlfriend and relationship, the root cause is often because you’re insecure or have previously had a bad experience.
If it’s due to your own insecurities, you’re going to need to work on building up your self-esteem before you can address your overthinking.
If you’ve had a bad experience previously, you need to talk this out with your girlfriend and come to terms with the fact that this is a new, different relationship.
How Do I Stop Overthinking My Crush?
Overthinking a crush is tough to deal with because your crush likely doesn’t even know you’re thinking about them.
The best way to get over a crush is to find yourself a fulfilling relationship that takes the place of your crush.
If you can find happiness with someone you can be with, as opposed to wanting to be with someone when it might not be possible, your thinking will change!
Image credits – Photo by Mitchell Hartley on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.