If you’re going through the process of breaking up with an emotionally mature man, there are some things you need to be prepared for.
Emotionally immature guys are not able to take rejection and breaking up as well as mature guys, and will often make things difficult.
Here are 10 things you need to be prepared for when spitting with an emotionally immature guy:
Breaking Up With an Emotionally Immature Man
1. They’ll Find the Break-Up Hard to Take
The biggest issue with emotionally mature guys is that they’re just not able to process and accept something as emotionally charged as breaking up.
This is why you’ll find that they often react in an immature way, such as lashing out or trying to hurt you emotionally in order to make themselves feel better.
He may not even accept that it’s over, trying to kid himself that you’re going to change your mind or give him another chance.
So be prepared for them to make the break-up difficult and painful for both of you – and make sure you’re 100% clear with him about where you both stand.
2. They Will Not Be Able to Communicate Openly and Honestly
Another symptom of emotional immaturity is an inability to communicate openly and honestly about feelings.
I’m sure you’re already aware of the fact that your ex lacks social skills and found it difficult to talk about mature topics with you.
For most women, it’s a contributing factor as to why the relationship didn’t work out!
So don’t expect your emotionally immature ex to be able to sit down and have a calm, rational discussion about the break-up.
Instead, he’s likely to either clam up completely or say things that are designed to hurt you.
3. They Will Not Confront the Issues and Give You Closure
If you’re breaking up with an emotionally immature guy, it’s likely that there were some underlying issues in the relationship that he was unwilling or unable to confront.
In my experience, men who are emotionally stunted often have difficulty dealing with conflict and will sweep problems under the rug rather than deal with them head-on.
This means that you shouldn’t expect anything different from him in the face of splitting up.
You have to accept that you might not get closure, and he probably won’t own up to his part in the split.
One of the hardest things to do with an immature guy is to just draw a line and accept that you’ll never get closure.
4. They Will Get Defensive
If you do manage to get your ex to talk about the break-up, chances are he’ll quickly become defensive and start playing the blame game.
Emotionally immature guys have a hard time taking responsibility for their actions, and will instead try to deflect any criticism onto you.
He may try to make you feel guilty or like you’re the one who’s been in the wrong, so be prepared for this kind of behavior.
The best way to deal with it is to just stay calm and keep your cool – no matter how much he tries to push your buttons.
5. They May Get Their Friends to Talk to You
In some cases, an emotionally immature guy may try to get his friends to talk to you on his behalf in an attempt to patch things up.
While this might seem like a positive sign, it’s just another way for him to avoid dealing with the situation himself.
His friends will likely tell you that he’s been upset and is really struggling to deal with the break-up, and they’ll try to convince you to give him another chance.
However, it’s important to remember that he’s not going to change. That much is obvious if he doesn’t even have the maturity to talk to you himself.
6. They May Start Trying to Offend You or Talk Bad Behind Your Back
One of the most immature things an emotionally challenged man can do is start trying to offend you or talk bad behind your back.
It’s a clear sign that he’s still not over the break-up, and it shows that he’s unable to deal with his emotions in a healthy way.
If you hear that he’s been saying things about you, the best thing to do is just ignore it.
Don’t rise to his bait and give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction.
Distance yourself from him and focus on improving yourself and your life by moving on while he stays stuck in the past.
7. They May Try and Turn Your Friends Against You
In some cases, an emotionally immature guy may try to get your friends to take his side in the break-up.
He might do this by bad-mouthing you or making up stories about what happened between the two of you.
It’s a manipulative tactic that’s designed to make you feel isolated and alone, so don’t fall for it.
I’m sure your friends will know he’s immature and making up lies, but talk to them and explain what’s happening if you need to.
8. They Will Probably Always Blame You
Even if an emotionally immature guy knows he was in the wrong, he’ll still find a way to blame you for the break-up.
It’s just another way of him deflecting responsibility and refusing to own up to his mistakes.
I hope this doesn’t follow you around for years, but the sad reality is that he will probably always blame you and find it hard to ever let it go.
9. Don’t Be Surprised if You Can’t Even Be Friends
In the perfect world, I think most of us would like to end up as friends with our exes.
However, in the world of an immature guy who doesn’t have a handle on his emotions, there is almost no chance of staying friends.
It’s not uncommon for men like this to either want nothing to do with their exes or try and cause problems for them in their future relationships.
The best thing you can do is to cut ties with him as much as possible and move on with your life.
10. Remember, Nothing He Does Is Your Fault!
Throughout this whole process, it’s important to remember that none of this is your fault.
Even if the reason for the breakup is technically your fault, having your immature boyfriend or husband react in an immature way is not your fault.
Breakups happen, that’s just a fact of life. Not everyone is compatible, and we all make mistakes.
Try not to take his behavior personally and don’t let it get you down.
Instead, focus on the future, learn from this experience, and I’m sure you’ll meet a guy that is much better suited to you and not as immature!
Image credits – Photo by @felipepelaquim on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.