Being in a relationship with someone who is emotionally immature is tough, frustrating, and often the cause of arguments.
Things like not being able to communicate properly, expressing her emotions, having social difficulties, and being defensive are just a few of the classic signs of someone who is emotionally immature.
If you want to learn more about this condition and see how it related to your partner, here are 20 signs of emotional immaturity in a woman to be on the lookout for:
20 Signs of Emotional Immaturity in a Woman
1. She Can’t Communicate Her Feelings Properly
The first and most obvious sign of emotional immaturity is a lack of ability to communicate emotions properly.
This can manifest itself in several ways, such as;
- Being unable to have a conversation about feelings without getting defensive or shutting down
- Not being able to express emotions in words at all and instead acting out in destructive ways
- Changing the topic and just avoiding facing up to talking about her feelings
Basically, if she finds a way to avoid talking about her feelings, she’s clearly not emotionally mature enough to face up to it.
2. She Gets Overly Emotional About Things
Another sign of emotional immaturity is getting overly emotional about things that really aren’t a big deal.
For example, she might;
Have huge mood swings over small things like someone taking her parking spot or spilling coffee down her front.
Or, get into arguments with friends or family members over nothing and hold a grudge for days, weeks, or more.
Related – Here is how most emotional affairs end.
3. You Don’t Feel Emotionally Connected with Her
One of the most frustrating things about being in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman is feeling like you’re never really emotionally connected.
It can feel like she’s always holding something back, or that she just doesn’t understand what it means to be emotionally intimate.
This emotional distance can make you feel disconnected, unsupported, and even lonely within your relationship even if you spend a lot of time together.
4. She Gets Defensive when She’s Uncomfortable
If your partner gets defensive when she’s uncomfortable or when you try to talk about something she doesn’t want to discuss, it’s a sign that she’s emotionally immature.
Instead of being able to listen to what you’re saying and engage in a healthy discussion, she will immediately put up her defenses and try to deflect the conversation.
5. She Makes Everything About Herself
Another frustrating trait of a woman who is lacking emotional maturity is that she will try and redirect attention to herself all the time.
Even if you’re trying to talk about your own struggles and worries, she’ll often just talk about how she’s struggling instead of asking how she can help you.
6. She Has Commitment Issues
One of the most common signs of emotional immaturity in women is a fear of commitment.
If your partner is always hesitating to take things to the next level and doesn’t want to talk about serious life choices like; moving in together, getting married, having children, etc. she’s not ready emotionally.
7. She Never Owns or Admits to Her Mistakes
A woman who is emotionally immature will never own up to her mistakes or admit that she might have done something wrong.
Instead, she’ll either make excuses for her behavior or try and deflect the blame onto someone else.
This avoidance of responsibility can cause tension and arguments in your relationship as you feel like you’re always the one who has to take the blame for things.
8. She Turns Everything Around to Being Your Fault
Talking about blame, another huge red flag is when a woman turns everything around to always be your fault – not hers.
No matter what goes wrong, she will find a way to make it your fault and she’ll never apologize for anything even when it’s blatantly obvious that she’s at fault.
9. Even Though You’re Together, You Feel Alone
One of the most heartbreaking things about being in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman is feeling like you’re all alone even when you’re together.
You might feel like she’s never really present or that she doesn’t understand what you’re going through.
This feeling of loneliness is what causes a lot of problems and breakups, only further compounded by the fact that she doesn’t know how to help repair the relationship.
10. She’s Too Clingy or Needy
While it’s great to feel wanted and loved, there is such a thing as being too clingy or needy in a relationship.
And if your partner is always needing reassurance, constantly checking in on you, or demanding all of your time and attention – it can be suffocating.
11. She Makes Inappropriate Remarks in Public
A woman who is emotionally immature will often make inappropriate remarks or jokes in public that embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable.
She might not even realize that she’s doing it, but it can be a real problem if you’re trying to maintain a professional image or keep things low-key.
12. She Takes Things Way Too Personally
Everything is a big deal to an emotionally immature woman.
If you forget to call her one night or if you’re running late for your date, she’ll take it personally and get upset instead of understanding that life happens and people make mistakes.
13. She Is Quick to Get Angry
On the back of taking things personally, she’ll also be quick to get angry – like from happy to angry in less than a second!
This often makes the guy in a relationship tread on eggshells and constantly worry about putting a foot wrong, which can be stressful.
14. She Is Indecisive About Simple Choices
Although she might act like she knows exactly what she wants, an emotionally immature woman will actually be quite indecisive about simple choices.
She’ll make a big drama out of things that should be easy decisions and it can drive you crazy trying to figure out what she really wants.
And, if you try to decide for her, you know it’s going to be the wrong decision and set her off!
15. She Holds Grudges Against People Who Wronged Her
Another red flag is holding grudges against people who have wronged her – even if it was years ago and they’ve apologized.
She’ll never forget or forgive someone who has hurt her and she’ll make sure to bring it up every time they cross her path.
16. She’s Emotionally Withdrawn
If one minute she’s happy and chatty, the next she’s withdrawn and doesn’t want to talk about anything – this is also a classic sign.
It often feels like she has an emotional off switch that she can just flip whenever she wants and it can be really confusing trying to figure out what’s going on with her.
17. She’s Selfish and Doesn’t Consider the Feelings of Others
In every decision, an emotionally immature woman will always put her own needs first without considering the feelings of others.
She’ll do things that benefit her and make her happy without thinking about how it might affect you or the relationship – even if it’s something small like not returning your calls.
18. She Acts without Thinking About the Repercussions
Another strong sign is acting without thinking about the repercussions of her actions.
She’ll do things on a whim without considering how it might affect other people or the situation – which can often lead to problems.
This can be anything from changing plans at the last minute to huge life-changing decisions.
19. When Things Get Tough She Disappears
This is another frustrating characteristic of someone with emotional immaturity, the more you need them, the more likely it is they’ll pull away.
When things get tough and you need their support, if they keep disappearing you need to seriously question how much you can rely on them.
20. It’s Hard to Make Her Compromise at All
Finally, if you’re always the one making compromises and she never seems to meet you halfway, this is a bad sign.
A mature woman will be able to compromise and understand that sometimes it’s necessary in order to make a relationship work.
But an emotionally immature woman will just do whatever she wants without caring about your needs!
Can You Change an Emotionally Immature Woman?
If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman, you might be wondering if it’s possible to change her.
The truth is, it’s unlikely – especially if she doesn’t recognize that she has any issues.
However, if she’s willing to work on herself and grow as a person, then there might be hope for the relationship.
If you’re not sure whether it’s worth sticking around or not, the best thing to do is talk to her about your concerns and see how she reacts.
If she’s defensive and doesn’t want to listen, then you have a tough road ahead.
However, if she’s willing to try and work on things, there is absolutely a chance she can change!
Image credits – Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.