It’s normal to want to spend all your time with your boyfriend, especially if you’re in a new relationship.
But there is a difference between spending time with them and being clingy.
If you’re aware of the fact that you’re being clingy and you’re asking, why am I so clingy to my boyfriend? That’s a great start.
Here’s some advice to help you identify why you’re being clingy and how you can stop smothering your boyfriend!
Why Am I So Clingy to My Boyfriend?
There could be a few reasons why you’re being so clingy towards your boyfriend.
It could be because you’re insecure in the relationship and you need constant reassurance from him that he loves you.
Or it could be because you don’t have any hobbies or interests outside of the relationship, so you feel like you have nothing else to focus on.
It’s also possible that you’re just naturally a clingy person, and it’s not necessarily anything to do with your boyfriend specifically.
For most people, and this is especially true of new relationships, they’re anxious about the future and their new relationship.
It’s hard to put a finger on exactly why, but the fact that you are aware of how you’re feeling and acting is a huge step in the right direction.
Is It Normal to Be Clingy in A Relationship?
There’s no right or wrong answer to this question, as it varies from person to person.
For some people, being clingy might come naturally and feel completely normal.
Others might find it suffocating and stifling.
It really depends on your personality type and how you like to operate within a relationship.
That said, if you’re finding that you’re so clingy to your boyfriend that it’s starting to affect your relationship, then it might be time to reassess how you’re behaving.
Let’s get something straight, being clingy isn’t a good thing even if both you and your partner are OK with it.
It’s not healthy behavior. You should both feel totally comfortable when you’re together and when you’re apart.
Sure, you want to be together and it feels great – that’s awesome.
But at the same time, everyone needs to have their own hobbies and interests. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable or anxious when you’re not around your boyfriend.
Examples of Clingy Behaviors in A Relationship
To give you a better idea of what being clingy in a relationship looks like, here are some examples:
- You always want to know where your partner is and what they’re doing.
- You get jealous easily and often.
- You constantly ask your partner for reassurance that they love you and that the relationship is going well.
- You get upset or angry when your partner wants to spend time with their friends or family without you.
- You frequently cancel plans with your own friends or family so that you can spend more time with your partner.
- You always want to know what your partner is thinking and feeling, even if they don’t want to share.
These are just a few examples, but if you can relate to any of them, then it’s likely that you’re being clingy in your relationship.
When you read those clingy behaviors out loud and checked off the ones that apply to you, how did it sound?
It doesn’t sound or feel good for your partner, does it? I hope this helps you see how being clingy can feel from your partner’s side.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad. It’s helpful to look at things from both sides though, especially if you want to change your behavior.
How You Can Stop Being So Clingy
The first step is acknowledging that you’re being clingy and that it’s a problem.
From there, try to take some time for yourself every day to do something that you enjoy.
It doesn’t have to be anything major, just something to help you focus on something other than your relationship.
Try joining a club, taking up a hobby, or spending more time with friends. Anything that will help you build up your self-esteem and take your mind off your boyfriend is good.
You should also try to communicate more with your boyfriend.
Tell him how you’re feeling and why you think you’re being clingy. Chances are, he’s probably feeling just as suffocated as you are!
If you can work on these things together, it’ll help to ease the tension and make your relationship much healthier.
Why Being Clingy Is Bad for A Relationship
Being clingy is bad for a relationship because it can make the other person feel suffocated.
It can also lead to communication problems, as well as making you both anxious and stressed.
If you’re finding that your clinginess is affecting your relationship, then it’s important to try to do something about it.
Both of you need to be able to have your own hobbies and interests, as well as time apart from each other.
It’s also important to communicate openly with each other to avoid any misunderstandings and share how you both feel.
If you can work on these things together, it’ll help to make your relationship much healthier.
Clinginess can also lead to jealousy, which is another negative emotion that can damage a relationship.
If you’re feeling jealous, try to communicate with your partner and figure out what’s causing that jealousy.
There might be something he’s doing – that he’s not aware of – or there might be something you need to work on within yourself.
Either way, it’s important to talk about it so that you can figure out a solution.
I hope you can find a way to build your self-esteem and lessen the feelings of anxiety and the other emotions that are causing you to be clingy.
All it takes is a little work and good communication and I’m sure you will!
Image credits – Photo by Cathy Mü on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.