I never advocate looking through your partner’s or a friend’s phone, it really should be the last resort.
Looking through someone’s phone is a serious breach of privacy and it’s going to destroy any trust you had with that person.
But, if you feel like it’s absolutely necessary, you should at least know what to look for when snooping through a phone!
Here’s What to Look for When Snooping Through a Phone
If you suspect your partner has been texting a crush or cheating, the first place you want to look is at their recent messages.
Most phones list messages in order of recency. So, the last messages they sent should be to the people listed at the top of their messages.
You can also tell when a message was sent on most phones by the timestamp next to it.
If you’re super suspicious of any names you don’t recognize, you may want to flick into the message log and take a look at what’s been said.
I’m not here to explain what you find but be careful about how you interpret some messages. It’s easy to get the ‘wrong end of the stick’ or read something out of context.
The next place to look is the call history.
This will show you every phone call your partner has made and received. You can tell how long each call lasted, as well as when it happened.
If there are any calls to numbers you don’t recognize, you may want to give them a call yourself and see who answers or make a note of the number and see if you can find out who it is.
You might also see some clues into what he’s up to by looking at the timestamps of phone calls.
If this is your partner’s phone and they’re always calling people when you’re not together, it may be that they’re talking to someone they don’t want you to know about.
Recent Apps Used
Most phones have a list of recent apps used. On iPhones, you just need to double click the home button and you should see the apps stacked in order.
If you’re snooping through your partner’s phone, this is a good place to look for any red flags.
Do they have any dating apps installed? Are they using social media sites that they’ve told you they don’t use?
This is also a good place to see if they’ve been using any apps that may be a cause for concern.
For example, if you see that your partner has been using a ‘secret texting app’, this could be a sign that they’re trying to hide something from you.
Photos and Videos
It’s also a good idea to take a look through the photos and videos stored on the phone.
Again, this is something you should only do if you’re absolutely sure that your partner is cheating or hiding something from you as it’s a pretty big invasion of their privacy.
Most people store their photos and videos in the ‘Photos’ app. But, some people may have them stored in other places.
Chat Apps You Didn’t Know They Had
If someone wants to talk to people without anyone else easily spotting them, they might install a separate chat app.
There are lots of different chat apps available, so it’s hard to say which ones your partner might be using.
The best way to find out is to take a look at the list of apps installed on their phone and see if there are any that you don’t recognize.
One of the ways you can monitor your partner’s phone and find out if they’re doing the things you suspect is by using a monitoring app like eyeZy.
These softwares give you access to all social networks including those listed above and also Tinder, Messenger, Instagram, and Snapchat.
It also includes a Call Logger feature so you can even listen to their conversation, it’ll give you access to their social calendar, and let you see what’s on their phone.
You can even set alerts to be notified if your partner is somewhere other than they say they are!
Is It Toxic to Look Through Someone’s Phone?
Looking through someone’s phone without their permission is a toxic thing to do.
It’s an invasion of their privacy and it will damage the trust in your relationship.
If you think your partner is cheating, the best thing to do is talk to them about it.
Accusing them of something without any evidence is only going to make things worse, and it’s not worth fishing for evidence by snooping through their phone.
So, if you’re going to snoop through their phone, be prepared for the consequences – but take it from me, it’s not worth it.
How Do I Stop Snooping and Start Trusting?
If you’re finding it hard to trust your partner, there are some things you can do to try and build that trust back up.
The first thing is to talk to them about why you don’t feel like you can trust them.
It’s also a good idea to give them some space and not be too clingy.
If you’re always asking them what they’re doing or who they’re talking to, it’s only going to make them feel like you don’t trust them.
Finally, try and take some time for yourself.
Do things that make you happy and spend time with your friends and family.
A healthy relationship is built on trust, so if you’re finding it hard to trust your partner, it might be time to reassess the relationship.
Looking through someone’s phone is a quick way to find out a lot about them. But, it’s also a quick way to upset someone and do irreparable damage to your relationship with that person.
If you ever see a phone laying around, think twice before picking it up and snooping.
Maybe you should think about what you would feel like if your partner, friend, family member, or someone else snooped through your phone!
Image credits – Photo by Plann on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.