Should you be concerned if your boyfriend keeps his phone locked?
No, it doesn’t always mean your boyfriend is cheating or trying to hide something.
If he acts secretive as well and there are other signs, however, it may mean that he is up to something.
Here are some of the signs to look out for that your boyfriend is texting other women and whether or not you should see his phone:
9 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Keeps His Phone Locked
Here are 9 of the most common reasons why someone would keep their phone locked in a relationship.
Some are cause for concern, but some really aren’t – see which may apply to your boyfriend:
1. He’s Texting Other Women
Let’s just jump in with the worst-case scenario first – if your boyfriend keeps his phone locked at all times, there is a chance he’s cheating on you.
While it’s not a sure sign, if he’s being secretive about his phone and who he’s texting, it could be a sign that he’s hiding something.
If you’re worried, the best thing you can do is look for other signs and not jump to any conclusions.
The next step is to speak to him about your concerns and see where that conversation goes!
Related – Here is how guys text girls they like.
2. He’s Just a Private Person
On the other hand, some people are just private people.
They don’t like to share their things and private life with others, and as our phones are like our own little personal assistants he’ll want to keep it locked.
This doesn’t mean he’s cheating or hiding anything, he might just not be comfortable with you going through his phone.
If this is the case, you should respect his privacy and not try to snoop or look through his phone.
3. He’s Worried You’ll Misinterpret Something Innocent
If your boyfriend has had a bad experience with an ex-girlfriend or if you’ve given him reason to believe you’ll overreact to something, he may keep his phone locked so you don’t misinterpret something innocent.
For example, if he gets a text from a female friend saying “Hey gorgeous!” He thinks that if you saw that message, you might think he’s up to something.
Text messages can easily be taken out of context or misinterpreted, I’ve heard about it happening more times than I can remember.
4. He Thinks You Should Just Trust Him
If your boyfriend keeps his phone locked and you’ve never given him a reason not to trust you, he may think you should just trust him.
He’s probably thinking “I would never cheat on her, so why does she need to see my phone?” And in all honesty, he may have a point there.
Maybe this is a good opportunity to ask yourself why you want to look in his phone or why him locking it bothers you?
5. He Wants You to Think He Has Something to Hide
Some guys get off on making their partners jealous, it gives them a feeling of power.
The problem is that this is a cohesive, toxic behavior that does more harm than damage in a relationship.
If you think your boyfriend is doing this, it’s important you talk to him about it and get to the bottom of it.
Related – Is it normal to have locked phones in a relationship? Here’s my take.
6. He’s Doing Things He Knows You Wouldn’t Approve Of
Your boyfriend might not be cheating, but he could be doing a number of other things that he knows would upset or annoy you just as much.
This could be anything from watching inappropriate videos to gambling, sending weird images, and so on.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing that he’s keeping his phone locked if he’s doing things he knows you wouldn’t approve of, it just means he doesn’t want to get caught.
7. He Uses His Phone as A Way to ‘Escape’
Sometimes people use their phones as a way to escape.
This could be anything from browsing social media for hours on end to playing video games or online gambling.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if he’s using his phone as an escape from his life he might not want you involved.
8. He Has Had His Trust Broken in Previous Relationships
If your boyfriend has had his trust broken in previous relationships, it’s understandable that he would be more guarded this time around.
It takes a long time to build up trust again after it’s been broken, so if you’re patient and understanding maybe he’ll let you in eventually.
9. He Doesn’t Know It’s Bothering You
If your boyfriend has no idea that keeping his phone locked is bothering you, he’s probably not going to change anything.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to talk to him about it and explain how it makes you feel.
Once he knows how you feel he might be more open to unlocking his phone for you.
Should You Be Allowed to Look Through Your Boyfriend’s Phone?
At the end of the day, it’s up to you and your boyfriend whether or not you think you should be allowed to look through your boyfriend’s phone.
There are pros and cons to both sides, so it’s important you weigh them up before making a decision.
If you trust your boyfriend and he hasn’t given you any reason not to, then you probably don’t need to worry about looking through his phone.
But if you’re concerned that he’s hiding something or if you don’t trust him, it might be a good idea to have a conversation about it.
It’s always a tough one to answer and it does cause a lot of issues within a relationship.
In an ideal world, you and your boyfriend would not feel the need to lock your phones from one another – and neither would either of you want to look at the other’s phone.
It doesn’t always work out like that, however. You need to be open with one another and find a solution that you’re both happy with.
Image credits – Photo by Omid Armin on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.