Wondering to yourself; are locked phones in a relationship normal?
This is a touchy subject for some couples, as our phones are very personal to us and we keep a lot of private information on them.
If your partner locks their phone and won’t let you look at their messages, should you be concerned?
Here’s a look at what it means when your partner locks his or her’s phone and what you should do about it:
Are Locked Phones in a Relationship Normal?
It’s normal for smartphones to be locked when not in use. That’s just a smart security measure in case you lose your phone.
The real question that comes up in relationships is whether or not you should let your partner know your passcode or how to unlock your phone.
I don’t think there is a ‘norm’ when it comes to answering whether or not you should let your partner know how to unlock your phone.
Some couples definitely feel that it’s a violation of privacy to have to share their phone’s passcode with their partner.
Others believe that since they’re in a relationship, they shouldn’t have anything to hide from each other, and sharing their phone’s passcode is just a sign of trust.
I think ultimately, either way, everyone hopes that their partner wouldn’t snoop around and look through their phone when they’re not around.
Even if you’re not up to anything or doing anything wrong, it still feels like an invasion of privacy to know someone else has been reading your personal messages.
Plus, we all say things and have conversations that are not meant for the eyes of other people.
There are innocent things that can easily be misinterpreted or taken out of context, I’ve seen it happen numerous times.
So, whether you and/or your partner want to lock your phone and not share the password or not, I think it’s safe to say that no one should be snooping anyway!
Related – Here’s how to ask your boyfriend to take a look at his phone!
Should Your Phone Be Private in a Relationship?
To further elaborate on this point, I think there are things that should be private in a relationship.
And your partner should be totally fine with that – if they trust you.
For example, I think it’s totally normal to have a password on your phone (and other personal devices), as well as social media accounts.
I also believe that you should be able to have conversations with whomever you want, without having to show or share those messages with your partner.
As long as you’re not doing anything shady or hiding anything from your partner, I think it’s okay to have some privacy in a relationship.
We all need our space, and that includes having a little bit of privacy when it comes to our phones and personal conversations.
At the end of the day, it’s really up to you and your partner to decide what works for you.
But if you’re not comfortable sharing your passcode with your partner, then don’t!
What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Won’t Let You See His Phone?
If your boyfriend or husband won’t let you see his phone, it could mean a few things.
Maybe he’s just a private person and doesn’t like to share his personal information with anyone.
Or, he could be hiding something from you.
You shouldn’t expect him to open up his phone and show you who he’s been speaking with and what he’s been saying though.
That’s just not fair.
If you’re concerned about what he’s up to or who he’s talking to, maybe you should have a conversation with him about it.
If he’s not doing anything wrong and is just a private person, then you shouldn’t force him to share his phone with you.
This is only going to make your partner even more reserved and secretive and will push him to find ways to cover his tracks even better.
At the end of the day, you need to trust your boyfriend.
If you don’t trust him and you have good reason to suspect he’s cheating or up to something you don’t agree with, you better be sure before trying to catch him out.
Related – Reasons why your partner might be so protective over their phone!
Why Trust Is Everything in a Relationship
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
If you don’t trust your partner, then why are you even with them in the first place?
Locking your phone and not sharing your passcode with your partner can seem like a sign of distrust for partners who are insecure and lack trust.
But in a relationship where you trust your boyfriend, you shouldn’t question it or even want to look through his phone.
You should be confident in your relationship and trust that he’s not doing anything behind your back.
If you have trust issues, then you need to work on them before they ruin your relationship.
Locking your phone is just a small way to keep some privacy in a relationship and keep it secure if it’s lost or falls into the wrong hands (that’s not you!) – it doesn’t mean you’re hiding anything from your partner.
Do you or your partner argue about whether or not you lock your phones in your relationship?
I’d love to hear about it and what the best solution you came up with is.
Image credits – Photo by Daniel Romero on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.