Are you thinking about asking your boyfriend to see his phone?
The need to know what our partners are getting up to on their phones is something that causes a lot of problems in relationships.
I get it, you want to trust him, but he doesn’t give you a reason to, right?
There is a right and a wrong way to go about this if you don’t want to come across as a paranoid, crazy girlfriend!
Is It Ok to Ask to See Your Boyfriend’s Phone?
The simple answer to this question is – it depends.
I know that doesn’t seem helpful, but there really are different ways to look at the reason to look at your boyfriend’s phone and whether he should let you.
In some relationships, both partners are happy for the other to see their phones at any time and there is no issue with trust.
However, in other relationships, one partner may feel like they need to hide something from the other and so asking to see their phone could cause arguments.
Then are those in the middle who like to keep their phones private, but they have absolutely nothing to hide.
It’s just a matter of respecting boundaries and being able to have something private where they can speak openly without the worry of you questioning them.
So, if you want to see your boyfriend’s phone, the first question you need to ask yourself is, “why do I want to see what’s on his phone?”
The second question you should ask yourself is, “is it going to offend or annoy my boyfriend?”
If you think your answers justify asking him – and there is no guarantee he’s going to say yes! – then you could try.
How Should You Ask Your Boyfriend if You Can See His Phone?
If you do want to ask your boyfriend if you can see his phone, the way you go about it is important.
You need to make sure that he doesn’t feel like you’re accusing him of something or that you don’t trust him.
The best way to do this is to explain why you want to see his phone and be open about your reasons.
For example, if you’re worried that he’s been texting another girl, tell him why you’re concerned and ask him to show you his phone so that you can put your mind at ease.
The most important thing is to be respectful of his privacy and not force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.
Then I think he deserves an apology and thanks, so tell him, “Thanks for putting my mind at ease, I appreciate I sound a bit crazy right now, I’m not going to question you again!”
What Does It Mean If Your Boyfriend Won’t Let You See His Phone?
There are a few things it could mean if your boyfriend won’t let you see his phone.
The first and most likely possibility is that he simply doesn’t want you to snoop through his private things.
He may have nothing to hide, but that doesn’t mean he wants you going through his messages, photos, and call history.
Another possibility is that he’s hiding something from you.
It could be anything from a harmless secret to something more serious like cheating.
If your boyfriend won’t let you see his phone, the best thing to do is talk to him about it.
Explain why you want to see his phone and see what he says.
If he’s not willing to let you take a look, then that’s his decision, but this doesn’t mean you should jump to conclusions and assume he’s up to something!
Why You Shouldn’t Check Your Boyfriend’s Phone without Him Knowing
Even if you have good intentions, it’s not a good idea to go through your boyfriend’s phone without him knowing.
If he finds out, he’s going to feel like you don’t trust him, and snooping through his private things is a violation of his privacy and trust.
This could damage the trust in your relationship and make things awkward between you two, to say the least.
If you think he’s up to something and texting other girls, I get how it makes you feel.
But checking through his phone is still not the right thing to do. Even if you do snoop and find evidence he’s been cheating, it’s hard to say that it was worth the risk.
Instead, communication is the key to helping you feel more secure about yourself and your relationship, and how your boyfriend is acting.
You absolutely have to speak openly with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling, and see where the conversation goes from there.
Trust Is Crucial in A Relationship
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship.
If you don’t trust your partner, it can make things very difficult and lead to all sorts of problems.
So if you’re thinking about asking your boyfriend to let you see his phone, ask yourself why first.
Are you feeling insecure or jealous? Is there something specific you’re worried about?
If so, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner about what’s going on and see if you can work through whatever is making you feel this way.
But if you’re just curious or snooping around, that’s a different story.
Snooping through your boyfriend’s phone is a violation of his privacy, and it’s not going to do anything to help build trust between you two.
In fact, if he finds out you risk him breaking up with you or becoming more private and hiding more of his conversations in the future.
Just think how it would make you feel if you found out your boyfriend had been going through your phone and reading your messages.
Even if you have nothing to hide, it doesn’t feel good, does it?
Image credits – Photo by YouVersion on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.