Have you caught your husband deleting texts from another woman?
I know how distressing it feels to find out that your partner is hiding things from you. Especially something as personal as texting another woman.
Sometimes there will be an innocent explanation, but sometimes it’s going to be a sign that he’s texting things to another woman that he doesn’t want you to see.
Here’s a look at why some guys delete text messages from women, and how you should approach bringing it up with your husband so he tells you the truth:
What Does It Mean When Your Husband Deletes Text Messages?
If you’ve caught your husband deleting texts from another woman, it’s important to try and understand why he’s doing it before jumping to conclusions.
It could be a sign of an affair, or it could be something innocent like he doesn’t want you to see the text messages because they’re personal.
Either way, it’s important to talk to him about it and see what he has to say.
If he refuses to talk about it or gives you a vague answer, then there could be cause for concern.
But you absolutely have to talk to him about it. Dwelling on it is only going to make you angrier – and there is a chance that it’s completely innocent.
Related – What to do if your husband is texting another woman behind your back!
Is Deleting Messages Considered Cheating?
This is a tough question to answer because it depends on the context of the situation.
If your husband is deleting text messages from another woman and he’s hiding it from you, then it could be considered cheating.
But if he’s not hiding anything and he’s just deleting texts that are personal to him, then it might not be considered cheating.
It really all comes down to why he’s doing it and what the context of the situation is.
It’s not like he has to run all of his text messages past you, neither do you have to run yours past him.
It’s simply the fact that he’s deleting them that is raising suspicion.
The best way to approach this is by talking to him about it so you can get a better understanding of why he feels the need to delete his texts.
How To Approach This With Your Husband
If you’re concerned that your husband Is deleting text messages from another woman, instead of stewing on it you need to talk to him.
Even if you’re emotionally charged, it’s important you try to approach the conversation in a non-accusatory way if you want him to open up.
For example, you could say something like, “I noticed you deleted some texts from so-and-so, is everything okay?”
This will give him the opportunity to explain himself and tell you what’s going on.
If he refuses to answer or gives you an answer that just doesn’t sit well with you, then there could be cause for concern.
But if he’s open and honest with you about why he’s doing it, then it might not be as big of a deal as you initially thought.
How Can I Check My Husband’s Deleted Texts?
If you want to check your husband’s deleted texts, there are a few ways you can do it.
One way is to ask him for his phone so you can check it yourself.
This might not be the best option if things are already tense between you two, but it’s worth a try.
If he has nothing to hide and he can see you’re anxious about this and wants to make you feel better, he should be willing to let you take a look.
If your husband is not willing to let you look, the other ways involve you being a bit sneaky.
There are various apps that allow you to track someone else’s phone activity, as well as download data from their phone.
This isn’t something I’m going to go into detail about as turning into a Private Eye and spying on your husband crosses the line and breaches his privacy.
No matter how important you think it is, just imagine how you would feel if you found out your husband was snooping on you to this level.
It would feel like a huge betrayal, right?
Related – 11 Signs to look out for that your man is texting another woman.
Should I Contact the Other Woman My Husband Is Texting?
If you know who your husband has been texting and deleting his conversations with, my advice would be to not contact her directly.
This is very likely to make things worse and cause even more problems in your relationship.
Unless you’ve read a lot of the messages between your husband and this woman, it’s very easy to get the wrong impression of what they’re saying to each other.
Even if it’s just the fact that they’ve been talking that has annoyed you, you shouldn’t bring this up directly with the other woman.
From her perspective, your husband is choosing to talk with her and he shouldn’t be doing so if it’s causing problems at home.
The best thing you can do is talk to your husband, you’re the one he is with and it’s your feelings he should be putting first.
Image credits – Photo by mehdi lamaaffar on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
My husband works in a building with one woman and one guy. His face lights up and he gets super happy when he talks about her and has been acting strange. I saw a text come through on his notifications from her a year ago that mentioned me and it caught me off guard so I immediately picked up his phone( I had never done this prior to seeing my name) and was mortified at the number of texts they send each other and although the content wasn’t intimate, I immediately sensed something was going on and also learned that he had been talking with her about me. I asked him if there was anything I needed to be aware about. He said “no” and her texts immediately stopped showing up on his phone except for the occasionally dry work text which is not at al what it had been like in the pretexts I had read. I recently learned that they are still texting each other but he is deleting all the messages. He still says nothing is going on. The other day he called me from work and I heard a woman’s voice start interrupting the phone call and he suddenly stated to speak louder, used my name twice as if to alert to her that at he was talking to me, (he never calls me by my name, as it is usually Babe or something) then started clearly trying to impress her with his sudden sweetness to me and offer of help with our 5 kids. Lots of things have been happening lately such as him showering before he comes home from work, working late, hiding his phone, smelling different, and has been super trying new things. I am not the jealous type, but I am also not stupid either. How can I approach him with this when he already denied it twice!