Wouldn’t it be great if there was some form of truth serum or a way to always know when someone is telling a lie?
Sometimes it would be, but that would also cause some serious issues….
Anyway, there is no truth serum or any way to be 100% sure when someone is lying.
But there are a few body language signs, physical cues, and other things to look for that can give you a very good indication if someone is being truthful.
From asking your husband if you look fat in a new dress to questioning if he’s been unfaithful, knowing the signs to look for that may indicate he’s being deceitful is important – and potentially insightful.
In this article, I’m covering some of the most obvious signs to look for that your husband might be lying to give you something more than just a ‘hunch’ to work with:
- 7 Signs Your Husband Is Lying or Being Deceptive
- How to Confront Your Husband if You Think He’s Lying
7 Signs Your Husband Is Lying or Being Deceptive
He’s Being Vague About the Facts
When someone is telling lies, it’s hard to be accurate about facts – because the fact simply does not exist, at least not in the true form.
If you’re questioning whether or not he’s telling the truth about something, without coming across like you’re nitpicking, do a little digging for specific facts.
It’s easy to be specific about facts if something happened, it’s almost impossible to be specific if it didn’t happen.
His Story Changes When You Probe Him
Not only is it difficult to be specific about facts, but it will also be hard for your husband to keep his story consistent if he’s lying.
His story might change within minutes, or it may take days to weeks. If you notice that his story has changed, you’re right to be suspicious that he’s not telling you the truth.
He’s Not Making Eye Contact
If your husband is lying he will find it difficult to look you directly in the eye. Unless that is, he’s skilled at being deceptive – and I hope that’s not the case.
Be deliberate about looking indirectly in the eye when you’re asking him a question that you want an honest answer to.
The harder you look at him in the eye, the more difficult he will find it to maintain eye contact if he’s lying.
Men, in particular, also tend to rub their eyes when they’re lying as a way of avoiding eye contact. This is a cue to look out for.
He’s Acting ‘Shifty’ or Different
‘Shifty’ Is a word used to describe someone who is being sneaky, devious, or untrustworthy.
This could mean a long list of things, but typically means your husband is being deceptive, secretive, evasive, anything other than acting normally in most cases!
If your husband is clearly acting differently for some reason, you have good reason to be suspicious. If you have something to be suspicious about, it usually means he’s hiding something.
He’s Overthinking Things When Explaining
Coming up with lies takes a little bit longer and a little bit more thought process than simply telling the truth.
If your husband is thinking hard about his answers, particularly if this is very unusual for him, you have to question why he needs to think about it for so long.
If he’s also getting facts wrong or changing his story as already discussed, this is a strong indicator he’s being deceptive.
He’s Being Unusually Defensive
Another common behavior that most people exhibit when they’re lying is being defensive when questioned as they don’t, or can’t, answer the questions.
Typical signs that someone is being defensive includes avoiding answering questions, turning questions round back on you, playing the victim, blaming or criticizing others, and getting aggressive.
If this is out of character for your husband, it’s likely he’s trying to redirect focus from himself to hide something.
He Is Fidgeting or Stumbling
Fidgeting or stumbling over words are classic signs that someone is nervous or anxious about something. Look for things like he’s playing with his hair, tapping his feet, shaking his leg, fidgeting with his hands, stuttering over his words, etc.
Even the most seasoned liars find it difficult not to exhibit some form of fidgeting. If you really want to make him squirm, point out that he’s fidgeting.
This will make him try to stop fidgeting, which will split his concentration and even further and make it more difficult for him to keep his story straight if he’s trying to be deceptive.
How to Confront Your Husband if You Think He’s Lying
Once you’re sure – or as sure as you can be – that your husband is lying about something, it’s always in both of your best interests to try and get it out in the open and address whatever it is.
Lying and deception is one of the quickest ways to erode trust in a relationship, and without trust, a relationship is destined to fail.
Still, you need to be careful about how you confront your husband so as not to offend him, or push him to do something that will worsen the situation.
Here are some of the key things to keep in mind when confronting a lying spouse:
Look at the Situation Through Their Eyes
It’s hard to think of a reason why your husband would be justified in lying, but you should always put yourself in his shoes and try to understand why he’s being deceptive.
Don’t be overly judgemental. After all, it’s not like you’ve never told a lie, is it?
Don’t Talk About It When You’re Emotional
The worst thing you can do is confront your husband in the heat of the moment or when you’re emotional. This is a recipe for disaster and one or both of you will almost certainly say something you regret.
Speak about things when both of you are calm, and be willing to walk away and take a break if things start to get heated.
Related – Does your husband pick on everything you do?
Present Him With the Evidence You Have
If you’re going to expect your husband to be upfront and honest about everything, it’s only fair that you do the same.
Tell him why you think he’s lying and present any information or proof you have. This might help encourage him to be more truthful when facing some evidence, too.
Hear Him Out
No matter how angry you are or what it is your husband has done, I’m always a firm believer in hearing someone tell their side of the story.
Make sure you listen as well as talking to your husband, give him a fair chance to explain himself – even if it is a weak excuse!
Make It Clear You Won’t Tolerate Lies in Your Relationship
Whatever the outcome, the important thing is that you take this opportunity to make it clear you will not tolerate lies of any form in your relationship.
If you caught your husband lying, it’s going to take time to rebuild that trust, and you should also let him know that.
But at the same time, you also need to find a way to forgive him and move forward. You shouldn’t hold it over him or bring it up during arguments.
The only way you can truly move forward together is for you to forgive him, and for your husband to apologize and reassure you that is not going to happen again.
Image credits – Photo by Etienne Boulanger on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.