Does your husband ignore when he’s mad or in a mood over something?
Giving someone the silent treatment might not seem like much to some. But, it’s actually an unpleasant form of control and psychological punishment that can cause a serious rift in a relationship.
Being on the receiving end, how you handle your husband and being ignored can shape the future of your relationship, whether or not he changes, and most importantly – your happiness.
Here are some tips to help better understand why he’s choosing to ignore you over facing the problem, and ways you can handle being ignored in a positive way:
My Husband Ignores Me: 7 Tips to Help You Deal With Him
1. Try and Talk to Him
It sounds like the wrong thing to do, doesn’t it; talking to someone who is ignoring you. But there has to come a point when he stops ignoring you, and the sooner that is the better.
Obviously, it never feels good to try and talk to someone and be ignored. You’ll know your husband better than anyone, if you think you know what to say and when to say it to break his silence, it’s worth giving it a try.
Avoid being aggressive, even passive-aggressive, just throw something nice out there to see how he reacts. Honestly, he has to be a hard man to crack if he can completely ignore you when you’re reaching out to him.
If you can’t break his silence before he is ready, at least talk to him about why he ignores you when he’s willing to talk.
Don’t just pretend it never happened. You’re going to need to work on this behavior over time to stop him from recoiling into ignoring you when he feels like it. It’s really not a healthy relationship behavior, as I’m sure you’re well aware.
2. Don’t Get Annoyed or Angry
It’s natural to feel annoying, angry, frustrated, and so on when someone you care about is ignoring you. If you fight back, it’s just going to escalate the situation though.
You need to be the bigger person and not rise to it. Part of the reason why he’s ignoring you is to annoy you – so don’t give him that satisfaction
While he’s ignoring you, it’s the perfect time to work on yourself and do a little meditation or practice some mindfulness. Make sure you’re not stressed or affected by his behavior.
As frustrating as it is, you’re just going to have to wait until he’s ready to talk.
3. Give Him Some Time if That’s What He Needs
He’s clearly finding it difficult to express how he’s feeling and wants some time to himself, so give him that time.
Honestly, some time alone might help him reflect on how ignoring you is creating a negative situation and not helping matters (we can hope).
Either way, if he’s not ready to talk and you keep pushing him, he’ll get angry. Try to talk, as I pointed out above, then leave him alone if he’s not ready to talk.
You’ll be able to communicate much more effectively when he’s open and willing to talk.
4. Try and Understand Why He’s Ignoring You
As with any issues or behaviors that cause problems in a relationship, understanding the real deep root of the issue goes a long way to helping you understand your husband and avoid future conflict.
People usually use the silent treatment because they’re either struggling to express themselves, emotionally immature, used to getting their way doing it.
Take a good look at your husband and see where he falls into that reasoning. It’ll help you better understand why he’s ignoring you and how to handle the silent treatment.
5. Figure Out What Helps Resolve The Situation Quicker
The longer he’s ignoring you, the more frustrated you’re going to become and the bigger a problem it causes in your relationship.
Not just from the point of annoyance, there are probably going to be practical things you need to discuss between the two of you.
So, if it becomes obvious over time what helps him snap out of it quicker, take note and go in that direction next time he’s ignoring you.
Be careful not to pander to him and play into his game of controlling the situation through ignoring. Rather, if giving him space works, do that. Or, if acting like nothing is up and just treating him as normal seems to help him get over it, do that.
Related – Signs you’re in a toxic relationship.
6. Don’t Blame Yourself
More often than not, the main reason why someone uses the silent treatment is because they have a problem – not you.
You may have said or done something to set them off, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
People typically ignore others to avoid talking about things they find difficult, because they want to hurt the other person, and because they want to control the situation on their terms.
It’s not a mature way of handling things and is more likely to make a situation worse than it is to help. Don’t ever blame yourself for their actions, despite what your husband says in the heat of the moment.
7. Consider Counselling
If your husband persistently ignores you despite trying to help improve communication and work through these problems, you should consider counseling.
At its core, ignoring someone is emotionally immature behavior. It’s often a deep-rooted behavior that is hard to change but is certainly something that can be changed if your husband is willing to address the issue.
‘Counselling’ is something a lot of couples find hard to talk about or consider. But it really shouldn’t be. Counselors are trained to help with these exact problems, and it may be the only way you ever help your husband break this habit of going into ‘ignore mode’.
Related – Signs a relationship is beyond saving.
There you have it, it’s not easy to change someone who is used to getting their way by ignoring people when they’re unhappy. But there are some things you can do to make the best of the situation – and hopefully, change their ways over time.
The most important thing is that you’re looking after yourself. Being ignored isn’t nice, it puts stress on relationships, and can cause some personal anguish.
Make sure you put yourself first. Meditate, breathe deep, do whatever it is that helps you destress and center yourself.
Image credits – Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.