Has your husband become distant all of a sudden?
Any relationship issues or changes in behavior are hard to deal with – but acting distant is one of the most troubling as it means something is bothering him.
Let’s be honest, most men aren’t great at communicating. They tend to retract into their shell, and you’re left wondering what the problem is.
If your husband isn’t ready to talk yet, there’s no harm in doing some investigating to see if you can find out why he’s acting withdrawn or distant.
Here are some of the common reasons men become distant from their partners/wives, and what you can do to help:
5 Reasons Why Guys Act Distant All of a Sudden
He’s Stressed About Something
Typically, men find it a lot harder to talk about their problems than women do. If your husband is stressed or worried about something, he might be keeping it to himself.
This often results in becoming withdrawn, feeling down, and generally not acting themselves. In the long-run, stress can lead to mental and physical health problems. So, it’s something to address if you think this is the reason.
Try and talk to him. If he’s not ready or it’s too difficult to tackle right now, just let him know you’re there when he’s ready to talk.
Being depressed is a lot more serious than being stressed. Depression is a mental illness and mood disorder, and it causes persistent, overwhelming feelings of sadness amongst other things.
One of the signs of depression is when someone becomes withdrawn from friends and family.
If you think your husband is depressed you should encourage him to seek professional help. Depression is a serious mental health disorder that requires the correct treatment.
He’s Having Doubts About the Relationship
Has your husband been withdrawing from you emotionally and physically? If external stresses aren’t the cause, you need to look at your relationship.
It’s possible that he’s having doubts about the relationship. He might be questioning his feelings for you and wondering where he’s going with his life.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating, although that’s something to consider. A lot of guys – and women – just reach a point where they no longer have those feelings they once did.
Related – 12 Signs your man is planning on leaving you.
He’s Hiding Something
Hiding something or keeping a secret can cause some serious internal anguish. It’s like carrying guilt around, and everyone handles it differently.
Acting withdrawn or distant is one of the signs that a guy is holding on to something that’s making him feel guilty.
Don’t jump to any wild conclusions. It may be something innocent, or something that really is not a big deal to you, but it might be a big deal to your husband.
He’s Going Through Some Personal Changes
Most of us go through a number of changes during our lives. Often joked about being a midlife crisis, the most common is when someone reaches a certain age and starts to question if they’re missing out on anything.
If your husband is going through some personal changes it’s going to weigh heavy on his mind. After all, any decisions he makes affect you and any kids you may have, right? He has to act responsibly.
Your husband may need some time, or to talk through some things that are on his mind. He may even need to make some changes. You’re going to have to discuss what’s on his mind and work through it as a family.
How to Deal With a Distant Partner
Living with a distant partner can put a lot of stress on your relationship. Until he’s willing to talk about his problems, you’re left in the dark dealing with an emotionally withdrawn partner.
There are some things you can do to help him as a wife and a supportive partner. Try the following:
Show Him Respect and Kindness
Sometimes we don’t realize that our body language or tone of voice is conveying annoyance or frustration.
Rolling our eyes, complaining or correcting the way your husband does something, especially if it is different than how you would, can make it hard for him to want to be around you.
his can create a lot of self-doubt on his part and honestly, who would be happy to see someone that makes them feel bad about themselves.
Hopefully you don’t mean to be disrespectful and thought it would be helpful but as relationship coach Laura Doyle describes in her article “Husband Not Affectionate”, it will kill any chance of intimacy.
Imagine being vulnerable with your husband – telling him your fears and worries – only to receive a reaction from him that makes you feel silly or inadequate.
I’m not saying you have to wear kid’s gloves but try to treat him in the same manner you would like if roles were reversed.
Talk to Your Husband
It always starts with good communication. The only way you’re going to find out why he’s distant, and the only way he’s going to overcome his problems – is by talking about it openly.
It’s not going to be easy. As I mentioned already, most men find it hard to talk about their problems. It reveals a vulnerable side they’re not comfortable with.
But if you don’t try, you risk the problem getting worse and damaging your relationship. Plus, he almost certainly needs help. If he can’t reach out and get that help from his partner, the only other solution is professional help.
Offer to Get Him the Help He Needs
Talking about a problem is only half of the solution, the other half is the actual solution. Make a commitment to your husband that you will help him do whatever it takes to solve whatever is bothering him.
Men like to be reassured that their partners are there for them, as we all do. Don’t be confrontational, don’t point the finger and blame anyone, just be supportive and offer to help in any way you can.
Make the Necessary Changes Going Forward
So, you’ve gotten to the bottom of what was causing your husband to become distant, and together you’ve come up with a solution.
The next step to adapt and make changes to avoid future problems. If your husband is going through some changes, that’s fine. The strongest relationships are the ones that have been through some ups and downs.
If your husband is acting distant, don’t just wait for him to ‘snap’ out of it or come to you and explain what’s going on.
There is obviously something bothering him. Be proactive and offer a non-judgmental ear to listen to his problems and work with him to find a solution
Image credits – Photos by Manuel Meurisse and Alekon pictures on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.