When a guy friend starts acting different, the first thing we usually assume is that we’ve done something wrong, offended them, or something’s happened to change the friendship dynamic we have.
This isn’t always the case though.
Sure, sometimes it is. But there can be a number of reasons why a guy friend starts acting weird, cold, funny, or anything less than ‘normal’.
If you’re trying to figure out why your friend is acting differently towards you, I can help (hopefully).
Here are some of the most common reasons and causes that usually explain why someone, especially a guy friend, starts acting differently towards you:
He’s Developing Feelings for You
One of the most common reasons for a guy friend suddenly acting differently or ‘weird’ is because his feelings have changed towards you.
When guys and girls are friends for a long time and get on great because they have stuff in common, it’s not uncommon for feelings to creep in.
Often it’s just a familiarity thing, or the guy has some physical needs and thinks, you know, you’re great friends and it wouldn’t hurt to experiment.
The problem is, it almost always does hurt the relationship. Sure, there are couples that started as friends and are now happily married, I know a couple myself. But it’s a tricky one to navigate if you value your friendship.
How’s your friend acting? Some guys will get all goofy and try to impress you. Some will become a bit shy and withdrawn, and others will start making subtle moves towards you. Try and read between the lines knowing them how you do.
He’s Hiding Something From You
Having secrets or hiding something from someone can cause some people to get all stir crazy. It’s guilt, and typically weighs heavier the closer two people are.
I don’t want to start your mind running through all kinds of crazy ideas. It’s best you talk to him if you think this might be the reason he’s acting weird.
Start by paying attention to how he’s acting. What’s ‘different’? Is he being secretive? Less talkative than normal? Does he look like he’s holding on to something that’s bothering him?
You’ve Done Something to Upset Him
Upsetting a close friend is a sure way to cause them to act differently around you. Guys, in particular, aren’t great at talking about it when they’ve been offended, so he might be holding something in.
Have a good think. Did you do or say something that might have hit a nerve? Did you cancel some plans recently and think it didn’t bother him – but now it looks like it may have?
It’s usually not that hard to put a timeline together. Think about when he started acting differently, and the last time you saw him before that, and what you guys were up to.
You’ve Upset Him (Without Even Knowing)
This one is a little more difficult. Some guys can get offended and start acting weird due to getting upset by something to do with you, while you have no idea what it is.
It could be that they’re jealous of something you’ve done or someone you’re hanging out with. Maybe they resent something that’s going well for you, or are even offended by something you said or did that should never have offended them.
It could be a number of things and difficult to get to the bottom of unless they tell you. There may be some clues, are they easily offended generally speaking? Has this happened before?
He’s Mixing With a Different Crowd
Friends can have a huge influence on how we (or anyone) acts and behave. I’m sure you’ve seen it before when new faces join a group, it changes the dynamic a little, right?
If a guy friend has been spending a lot of time with someone new, maybe they’re starting to rub off on them. Someone with a strong personality can change how they act, and even change their opinions about their other friends.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. If your friend is very impressionable, however, it’s a good idea to keep an eye on them so they’re not led down the wrong path.
You’ve Grown Apart
If you’ve had the same best friend since you were a kid, count yourself lucky. Most of us grow apart from friends at some point, especially friends we made as kids.
Whether it’s due to work, making new friends, family life… whatever the reason, we all change as we age. If your friend is acting differently, maybe it’s a sign that you don’t have a lot in common any longer.
Have you been seeing him less and doing fewer similar things lately? Look for the signs that your lives are going off in different directions.
As you can see, there are a number of reasons why a guy friend may have started acting differently all of a sudden.
The important thing is to pay attention to how he’s acting, and try and figure out why. Resist getting defensive, confrontational, or acting just as ‘weird’ back!
How different is he acting? Is he being a jerk? Acting cold towards you? Being mean?
There will always be a reason for his behavior. Hopefully, some of the reasons I covered in this article helps you get to the bottom of this behavior, and what you can do to get him back to ‘normal’.
Image credits – Photo by Duri from Mocup on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.