My boyfriend is texting another girl behind my back…should I confront him? What should I do?
You’re not alone if you’re concerned about who your boyfriend is talking to on his phone – or even if you’ve caught him texting other girls.
In this digital age, almost everyone communicates by text.
If you think your boyfriend is texting another girl, or maybe you already have proof he is, here is how you should handle the situation:
How Can I Tell if My Boyfriend Is Texting Other Girls?
If your boyfriend is texting another girl behind your back, there are some telltale signs you can look for.
First, pay attention to how much he’s texting.
If he’s suddenly sending a lot more texts than usual, or if he’s spending more time on his phone in general, that could be a sign that he’s talking to someone else.
Another red flag is if he starts being secretive about his phone.
If he used to let you see who he was texting and what they were saying, but now he’s hiding his screen from you or keeping his phone out of your sight, that’s definitely suspicious.
If he’s taken hiding it a step further, he may even have added some fake guy’s names into his phone who are really the girls he’s texting.
If your boyfriend is getting a lot of texts from, guy friends you’ve never seen or heard him talk about, you’re right to be a little suspicious.
The only way to really know, however, is to ask him and have him tell you the truth. Or to literally catch him redhanded by seeing the texts he’s sending to other girls.
Related – Here is an explanation of what texting anxiety is.
Is Texting Another Female While in a Relationship Cheating?
In some cases, yes, texting another female while in a relationship can be considered cheating.
It all depends on the circumstances and what’s going on between you and your boyfriend.
If he’s texting another girl behind your back, it’s probably because he’s interested in her and wants to pursue something with her that he knows you would not like.
This may mean that he’s not as interested in you anymore – but it can also mean that he just doesn’t want to upset you or cause problems.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. Maybe he’s just texting his sister or a close friend and feels the need to be secretive about it.
But if you’re not sure who the girl is he’s texting or why he’s talking to her so much, it’s definitely worth asking him about it.
The two of you are in a relationship and you deserve to know what’s going on.
He doesn’t have to reveal every little detail about what he gets up to and who he texts, but I’m sure he’s aware that it would upset you to know he’s been keeping this secret.
As a rule of thumb, no one should keep their actions secret because they know it would upset their partner if they found it – because they’re likely to find out at some point.
Should I Forgive My Boyfriend for Texting a Girl Behind My Back?
It’s up to you whether or not you want to forgive your boyfriend for texting a girl behind your back.
Depending on the severity of the offense and how much trust has been broken, you may decide that it’s something you can move past.
Or, you may feel like this is a dealbreaker and end things with him.
Only you know what’s best for you and your relationship.
If he was just texting another girl out of curiosity or because he was bored, that’s one thing.
But if he developed feelings for her or started pursuing her romantically, that’s definitely a bigger issue.
You should also take into account how long the two of you have been together, how strong your relationship is, and what his attitude is about what he did.
If your boyfriend is genuinely sorry for his actions and understands how his actions impacted you, it shouldn’t ruin a good relationship.
Related – Does your boyfriend want to start wearing high heels or staying out all the time?
Why You Should Talk to Your Boyfriend About Him Texting Other Girls
If you’re wondering whether or not to talk to your boyfriend about him texting other girls, my advice would be to go ahead and do it.
You shouldn’t have to hide your feelings from him or keep secrets from each other.
The two of you should be able to talk about anything – especially something that’s causing you pain and making you feel insecure in the relationship.
Your boyfriend may not realize how much his actions are affecting you, so it’s important that you tell him.
It’s also possible that he has a perfectly good explanation for why he was texting another girl behind your back.
But even if that’s the case, it’s still important to communicate with each other about what’s going on.
You want your relationship to be built on communication and trust, talking to him about an issue like this is the perfect example.
Image credits – Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.