If you’re in a relationship where your partner wants to wear high heels, once the shock subsides you’re right to wonder if this is normal.
First of all, it’s important to remember that there is no such thing as “normal” when it comes to relationships.
There are men who do wear high heels, some straight, some not, some men hide it from their partners, while others are not ashamed at all.
What matters, however, is how it makes you feel and what kind of impact – if any – it’s going to have on your relationship.
Is It Normal for Men to Wear High Heels?
I wouldn’t say it’s “normal” for men to wear high heels, no.
But at the same time, this doesn’t mean it’s wrong, weird, or something you should be alarmed about.
It’s not unusual for someone in a relationship to want their partner to share in their interests – no matter how unusual they may be.
However, it is important to remember that you should never feel pressured into taking part in something you’re not comfortable with.
If your husband wants to wear high heels and you’re not sure how you feel about it, it’s absolutely crucial you talk to him about it.
It’s also important that you try to be open-minded and understand his point of view.
You may be surprised to find that he just wants to feel closer to you and this is his way of trying to do that. Or, he’s trying to make a bold fashion statement.
On the other hand, if you really can’t get on board with the idea of him wearing heels, tell him so.
It’s clearly less common for straight men to wear high heels, but this doesn’t mean your husband is questioning his sexuality.
The only way you’ll know his reasoning and what he’s thinking is to ask him and have him be truthful about why he suddenly wants to wear high heels.
Should You Encourage Your Husband to Wear High Heels?
This is a difficult question for me to answer on your behalf.
It really depends on how you feel about it and whether or not you think it will negatively impact your relationship.
If you’re uncomfortable with the idea, then it’s probably not something you should encourage.
However, if you’re curious about why he wants to wear high heels and are willing to be open-minded about it, then you could try talking to him about it and seeing where the conversation goes.
The most important thing is that you communicate with each other and respect each other’s wishes.
If your husband wants to wear high heels and you’re not sure how to feel, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it.
If you try to stop him from doing it or shame him when he does wear heels, he’s probably going to just wear high heels behind your back and hold some resentment towards you.
Do Straight Guys Wear High Heel Stilettos in Public?
There are some straight guys who do wear high heels in public, but they are definitely in the minority.
It’s more common for men who wear high heels to do so in the privacy of their own homes.
If your husband wants to wear high heels out in public, it’s important that you talk to him about it and see if he’s comfortable with people knowing.
Without shaming him or talking him out of it, it’s fair as his partner to prepare him for what people might say and how it may affect you and your children if you have any.
Society can be pretty harsh when they see someone doing something out of the norm, as sad as it is to say it.
If your husband is taking his penchant for wearing heels outside and revealing it to the world, he needs to take into account your feelings.
What if Seeing Him Wear High Heels Makes You Uncomfortable?
If seeing your husband wear heels makes you uncomfortable and you really can’t accept it, you have to tell him.
If he’s being reasonable, he will understand that it’s not a “normal” request and is something that can be seen as quite shocking.
The wrong thing to do is to tell him that it’s wrong to wear heels, to try and emasculate him, or to make him feel bad.
You’re going to have to accept that wearing heels is something that feels good for your husband, and is something he wants to do.
You should be able to find a happy middle ground where he wears heels when you’re not around so you don’t have to see it.
If your husband wants to wear high heels, there is no need to panic or worry.
This doesn’t mean he’s no longer excited by you, is now interested in men, or that there is something wrong with your relationship.
However, you do need to make him feel comfortable so he can speak openly with you about why he wants to wear heels.
For most couples, once everything is out in the open and both partners have discussed the boundaries they’re comfortable with, it isn’t usually a problem.
Image credits – Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.