When you start a new relationship, it is important both you and your partner set boundaries with your respective exes.
This means that you both need to communicate with your exes about what is and is not acceptable behavior.
If an ex continues to interfere in your new relationship, it can be very damaging – either to one party or both of you.
In this article, I’m going to explain how to deal with an ex interfering in a new relationship.
As well as providing some tips on how to set boundaries with an ex that keeps everyone happy, friendly, and helps maintain healthy relationships all around.
What Boundaries Should You Have With an Ex?
The first step is to sit down with your new partner and talk about what boundaries you both feel comfortable with when it comes to exes.
Some things you may want to consider include:
- Whether or not you want your partner to be able to have any contact with their ex.
- If so, what kind of contact is acceptable?
- How often should they be able to talk or see each other?
- What are the boundaries for talking about their past relationship?
It’s important that you come to a mutual agreement on these boundaries with an ex when in a new relationship, as it will help avoid any arguments or hurt feelings down the line.
It’s not something you should rush to decide on either.
Give each other time to think about boundaries you each feel comfortable with. There are emotions involved, you shouldn’t make decisions on a whim.
Related – Some best last words to say to an ex for closure or revenge.
Is It Ok to Talk to Your Ex When You Are in a New Relationship?
There is no easy answer to this question.
It really depends on the situation and the relationship you have with your ex now, and what it’s been like in the past.
If you still have a good, healthy relationship with your ex, then it’s probably okay to talk to them about your new relationship and set some boundaries.
However, if your relationship with your ex is strained or dysfunctional, it’s probably best to avoid talking to them altogether.
The last thing you want is for them to say or do something that will jeopardize your new relationship.
Look for signs that they are the jealous type, too. Jealousy is going to be the main issue stopping them from wishing you well and supporting your new relationship.
What Should You Do If Your Ex Keeps Interfering In Your New Relationship?
If you’ve talked to your ex about setting some boundaries and they continue to interfere in your new relationship, there are a few things you can do.
- Talk to your ex again and explain that their behavior is not acceptable and why it’s causing problems in your new relationship.
- If they continue to interfere, you may need to limit or cut off contact with them entirely.
- You could also talk to your new partner about the situation and see if they are willing to talk to your ex themselves.
You will know your ex better than anyone and will need to make the best decision for you and your new partner depending on the situation.
The important thing is that you’re able to set boundaries with your ex, and are willing to cut them off if they cross those boundaries if necessary.
Should Your Partner Be Talking To Their Ex?
This is a difficult question to answer, as it really depends on the relationship your partner has with their ex.
If they have a good, healthy relationship and are able to communicate effectively, then it’s probably okay for them to talk to their ex.
If it concerns you, it’s important that you communicate this to your partner. I’m sure they’ll be willing to involve you in their conversations or let you know when they talk.
If you know that there was jealousy or any kind of toxic behavior in their past relationship, however, it’s best for them to avoid talking to their ex altogether.
This is often a hard topic to bring up with a partner. They may think you are jealous and don’t want them speaking, so you have to approach this topic very carefully.
Related – Here’s what you could say to an ex who has hurt you?
At the end of the day, the better and more open the communication is between you and your partner, the easier it’s going to be to set boundaries with your respective exes and stick to them.
It should never be about “winning” or having a partner cut ties with an ex simply because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
You both need to prioritize your relationship and find a balance where you’re both happy with the boundaries being set.
Setting boundaries with exes is perfectly normal. When done right, it’s going to benefit everyone involved.
Image credits – Photo by Eddy Billard on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.