Are you aware of the fact that you’re too clingy?
Has your partner told you’re too intense and are smothering them?
For the good of your relationship – and your own mental health – it’s important you work on yourself so you’re not so clingy.
Here are 19 ways how to stop being clingy in a relationship:
19 Ways How to Stop Being Clingy in a Relationship
1. Be Honest with Yourself
The first step is to be honest with yourself. If you’re here, you’re aware of the fact that you’re too clingy, but how bad is it?
You can’t change a behavior if you’re not 100% honest about how bad it is and what the root causes are that are driving you to behave in the way you are.
2. Talk to Your Partner About It
The second step is to talk to your partner openly about how you feel.
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important that you’re open and honest with them about how you’re feeling and what you want to change.
They need to be on board with the changes you want to make and be willing to help, otherwise, it’s going to be very difficult for you to change.
3. Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries
One of the main reasons people continue to be clingy is because they don’t respect their partner’s boundaries.
It’s important to remember that just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean your partner wants to spend every waking minute with you.
They need time to themselves and it’s important that you respect that.
4. Occupy Yourself when You’re Alone
When you’re by yourself, it’s important that you find things to occupy your time.
This can be anything from reading a book, going for a walk, or working on a hobby.
The important thing is that you find something to do so you’re not just sitting around thinking about the next time you’re going to be with your partner.
5. Spends More Time with Friends and Family
Another great way to stop being so clingy is to spend more time with your friends and family.
This will help take the focus off of your relationship and give you some much-needed time away from your partner.
It’s important to have a life outside of your relationship and spending time with those who are important to you is a great way to spend your time.
6. Focus on Trusting Your Partner
One of the main reasons people are clingy is because they don’t trust their partners.
If you want to stop being so clingy, it’s important to start trusting your partner more.
This can be a difficult thing to do, but it’s important that you try.
Start by giving them the benefit of the doubt and see how things go. At some point, as hard as it is, you’re going to have to trust them.
7. Work on Your Self-Esteem
One of the main reasons why people are clingy is because they have low self-esteem.
If you want to stop being clingy, it’s important that you work on your self-esteem.
Not only that but working on your self-esteem is going to help you be a better version of yourself and help you in all aspects of your life.
Building self-esteem can be a difficult thing to do, but there are many resources available to help you.
Start by reading some books or articles on the topic and see what works for you.
Building self-esteem is a journey, but it’s one that’s worth taking.
8. Practice Spending Time Apart from Your Partner
One of the best ways to stop being clingy is to practice spending time apart from your partner.
This can be a difficult thing to do and it’s likely to cause a temporary increase in anxiety, but it’s important that you try.
Start by gradually increasing the amount of time you spend apart from each other and see how things go.
As long as you communicate with your partner about how you – and they – feel and lean on your support network, I’m sure you’ll feel the benefits.
9. When You’re Being Clingy – Stop Yourself
Another thing you can do is to stop yourself when you’re being clingy.
If you feel like you’re being too clingy, or if your partner is telling you that you are, changing your behavior at that moment is the best way to break the habit.
It will also help you identify the triggers and things that are making you feel so attached to your partner.
10. Make New Friends and Start New Hobbies
One of the best things you can do to stop being clingy to one person is to make new friends and start new hobbies.
This will help take the focus off your relationship and give you something else to focus on.
It’s important that you have a life outside of your relationship and finding new things to do is a great way to achieve this!
11. Identify Why You Feel Anxious When You’re Apart from Your Partner
One of the emotions that drive people to be clingy with their partners is anxiety and the feeling of missing out when they’re apart from their partner.
If you want to stop being so clingy, it’s important to figure out why you’re feeling this way.
Once you know what’s causing your anxiety, you can start to work on those issues.
It comes back to being honest with yourself. You might need to do a little soul searching to find out why you feel the way you do.
12. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Most people who find comfort in being around someone else don’t enjoy being alone or spending time with themselves.
Think about this; you’re going to spend a lot of time alone with yourself and your own thoughts throughout your life, you should learn to enjoy it!
Spend some time alone every day and do things that make you happy.
I think you’ll find that the more time you spend with yourself, the less you feel the need to be around someone else all the time.
13. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Advice
If you’re finding it difficult to stop being clingy, or if you’re struggling with anxiety or low self-esteem, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.
There’s no shame in admitting that you need help and seeking out a therapist or counselor can be a huge help.
They can give you the tools and resources you need to work through your issues and make positive changes in your life.
14. Learn How To Meditate
Meditation has been a game-changer in my life and helped me improve in so many areas, I can’t recommend it highly enough.
There are a lot of different ways to meditate, so find one that works for you and stick with it.
If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of apps and websites that can help you get started.
You only need 10-20 minutes a day, that’s it. Take it from me, it will be the best 20 minutes you spend in your day!
15. Identify Triggers that Cause You to Cling to Your Partner
As I mentioned before, it’s important to identify the things that trigger your clinginess.
Once you know what those triggers are, you can start to work on them.
For example, years ago for myself, my trigger was when I knew my partner was going to be going away for a few days with work.
I had to find other things to focus on and fill my time while they were away and really work on trusting them to address my issues.
16. Address Past Relationship Trauma
If you’ve been in a previous relationship where you were treated poorly or felt abandoned, that can trigger clinginess in your current relationship.
It’s important to work through those issues and address them head-on.
Again, this might mean seeking out professional help to work through everything and leaning on your support network.
Don’t dismiss past trauma and try to compartmentalize it. Do whatever it takes to move forward in a healthy way.
17. Write Down Your Thoughts in A Journal
If you find yourself feeling clingy or anxious, you should try taking a few minutes to sit down and write out your thoughts in a journal.
Getting everything out of your head and down on paper can help you to see things more clearly.
You might even be surprised at what you’re really thinking and feeling when you take the time to write it all down.
Journaling works for a lot of people, I’ve seen it help even the most skeptical!
18. Don’t Blame Yourself (or Your Partner) for Your Actions
If you’re finding it difficult to stop being clingy, don’t beat yourself up about it.
And don’t try to blame your partner for your actions either. Even if their actions are triggering you, it’s something you need to work on.
Remember, you’re in control of your own life and you have the power to change things.
Focus on the future and what you want to achieve. Take responsibility for your own happiness!
19. Don’t Ever Doubt Yourself, No Matter How Difficult It Gets
This might be the most important thing to keep in mind throughout your journey.
No matter how difficult things get, or how many times you mess up, don’t ever doubt yourself.
You can do this! Just keep moving forward one day at a time and trust in the process.
I believe in you!
Image credits – Photo by Joshua Bos on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.