When you’re going out with someone and you’re proud of them and want to show them off – you want the same back.
If your boyfriend is hiding you – or if you feel although he’s hiding you – this is a huge problem in any relationship.
At worst, it can mean your boyfriend is leading a double life that he doesn’t want you to find out about.
At best, he’s suffering from some anxieties about the relationship, is embarrassed by you, or is dealing with some personal issues.
Whatever the reason, the two of you cannot carry on and build a future together until he’s willing to tell the world you’re together.
To help you confirm if your boyfriend is indeed hiding you, here are 7 signs to look out for:
7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Hiding You
You Haven’t Met His Family
When a man doesn’t introduce his partner to any of his family members, this is often called ‘pocketing’ or ‘stashing’.
Or in more simple terms, it means they’re hiding you.
Unless he’s on bad terms with his family – and he may tell you this as an excuse – if your boyfriend doesn’t introduce you to his family it’s a strong sign he’s hiding you.
You Met Very Few or None of His Friends
Has your boyfriend been making excuses why you can’t meet any of his friends? Maybe he’s telling you he doesn’t have any friends?
Your boyfriend should be proud of you and excited to introduce you to his friends and show you off.
There is definitely something up if he never introduces you to his friends. It’s worth probing him a bit as to why to see what he says.
You Don’t Know Much About His Past
A lot of people will hide things about their pasts to avoid embarrassment, shame, to keep secrets locked away – and to stop people weaving into their lives.
If your boyfriend is being secretive about his past, it should always make you raise an eyebrow.
Not opening up about his past is one way to stop you from finding out about his friends and family and keep you at a distance.
You’ve Never Been to His Place
If you’ve never been invited to your boyfriend’s house, this is a huge red flag. It may just be because he’s embarrassed, but there might also be a bigger reason.
A lot of guys will not want their partner to see where they live as it makes them feel vulnerable.
It reveals how they live and ‘exposes’ you to their world. There might even be signs of someone else having lived with them you didn’t know about!
He Doesn’t Take Phone Calls
I know in this digital age talking on the phone is a dated concept. We’re much more likely to text, Snapchat, message on social media, and maybe, just maybe leave a voice note.
But if you’ve tried to talk to your boyfriend via a phone call and he’s refused to pick up, this is a sign that he’s (potentially) hiding something.
It should make you question why. What’s he up to that he can’t talk? Is there someone in the background he’s hiding you from? It’s worth investigating.
He Won’t Talk About the Future
A lot of guys don’t like to talk about the future, at least not in concrete terms and making specific plans.
This isn’t always a red flag on its own.
If you combine this with some of the other warnings that your boyfriend is hiding you, however, it might mean more than just his anxieties about the future.
A lot of times it means that your boyfriend intends to carry on keeping you a secret and can’t bring himself to make plans that involve revealing you.
He Doesn’t Post Pictures of You Both Online
There is no escaping social media today, and in most relationships what’s happening on social media is an echo of one’s actual life.
So, if your boyfriend is hiding you on social media, you can be sure he’s hiding you in real life.
Changing his Facebook relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ is a big step, I get it. But at the very least, he should be showing off pictures of the two of you if he’s proud.
What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Hides You?
When one person in a relationship hides the fact that they’re in a relationship, whether it’s a man or a woman, it’s not a good sign.
Some of the most common reasons why your boyfriend would hide the fact that they’re with you are:
- He’s embarrassed by you – This is always difficult to take, but you have to remember that it’s likely to be your boyfriend that has a problem, not you.
- He doesn’t see a future with you – If your boyfriend doesn’t see a future with you, he’s not going to want to bring you all the way into his life.
- He’s hiding something from you – Your boyfriend might have a shady past, another girlfriend – just about anything that he doesn’t want you to find out about.
- He knows his family will not approve – Your boyfriend might not be embarrassed by you, but if his family will be or will not approve for some reason, he may be keeping you secret to avoid that conflict.
What Should You Do?
Communication is the only way you’re going to find out why your boyfriend is hiding you, and work on a resolution.
What you shouldn’t do is sneak around building up evidence, this is only going to make you more annoyed at him and make him feel even more anxious.
Find a way to open up a clear line of communication, and without being judgemental or too confrontational, ask him why he’s not comfortable showing you off.
Image credits – Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.