Does your boyfriend get mad when you post pictures of yourself online?
I know how terrible this must make you feel and the strain it puts on your relationship, but it’s important to remember you’re not doing anything wrong.
If your boyfriend doesn’t like you posting pictures of yourself on social media, it’s him that has the problem.
And that problem is jealousy.
Jealousy is an ugly word, and for good reason – it’s a sign that your boyfriend is unhappy, insecure, and frustrated at his own shortcomings, not yours.
For the good of the relationship and your own emotional and psychological wellbeing, it’s important you find a resolution.
I’ll say off the top that finding a resolution doesn’t mean you stop posting your pictures online if that makes you happy, not at all.
You may find a small compromise, depending on your individual circumstances.
But it’s important to remember that a healthy, strong relationship is one built on trust where both partners have the freedom to express themselves.
Related – Is your boyfriend’s moods making you insecure? Read this if so.
Why Does My Boyfriend Get Mad When I Post Selfies?
If your boyfriend gets mad at you for posting selfies or pictures of your day, social life, friends, family – basically any pictures that involve you – he’s either jealous, insecure, controlling, or a combination of those things.
All of which are toxic and very harmful to your relationship and mental health.
In an ideal situation, your boyfriend would be proud to say “that’s my girlfriend” when people see pictures of you online, right?
He’d be the first to ‘like’ your photos, share them, and encourage you to take pictures if it’s something that makes you happy.
Well, guess what?
There are loads of guys that do all of those things for their girlfriends. Guys who are proud of their partners, and happy for them when they’re happy.
It’s not normal to have a boyfriend who gets mad when his girlfriend posts pictures online.
I want to stress that because anyone who is in an abusive relationship of any form – and trying to control you by getting mad is abusive – often ends up feeling like it’s the ‘norm’.
It’s not the norm.
Your boyfriend is demonstrating that he feels insecure about the attention you’re getting. He might feel left out, be dealing with anxiety, and had previous trauma.
Whatever the reason, one thing we do know is that if you don’t get to the bottom of his issues and why he gets mad, it’s not going to get any better.
Is It Bad to Post Selfies While in a Relationship?
Let’s get something clear, selfies can cause problems in a relationship. Just as social media usage in general can.
If you’re obsessed with taking selfies and always trying to look your best, that’s going to take a toll on your relationship.
There has been a wave of negative press towards social media in recent years. When someone takes a picture, it’s a snapshot in time, so it’s easy to give the illusion that everything is perfect.
When in reality, things are rarely, if ever, perfect.
A lot of people get caught up comparing themselves to others and trying to keep up with the number of followers they have, likes, and other online engagement metrics.
Your focus should be on your partner first. I bet you expect the same from him, right? You want him to put you before his online profile, so why should you act any differently?
As with anything, taking selfies and updating your online profile can become a problem if you’re doing it obsessively.
You need to be honest about something; is your boyfriend getting annoyed because it’s getting in the way of your relationship, or because he’s jealous?
Signs of a Controlling Relationship
It’s important you’re aware of any signs or red flags that your partner might be trying to control any aspect of your life.
Controlling behaviors are one of the most toxic and damaging things one partner can do to another, and it can have lasting psychological damage.
It can start with something as ‘simple’ as asking or telling you not to post pictures of yourself online.
This can then quickly escalate to trying to control other aspects of your life, such as not letting you wear certain clothes, go out with friends, and so on.
If your boyfriend is a little jealous about you posting pictures of yourself online and gets a bit moody, that’s one thing.
If he starts telling you that you can’t post pictures of yourself online, this is crossing the line into controlling behavior and absolutely shouldn’t be tolerated.
If your boyfriend gets mad when you post pictures of yourself online, I understand how upsetting and frustrating it can be.
If your social media use is reasonable and your boyfriend is getting mad because he’s jealous, talking openly about how it’s making you feel is the first step to resolving this.
Keep in mind that it’s not your fault, your boyfriend is going to have some insecurities and anxieties fueling his behavior.
It’s not going to be easy to talk about it and have him change. But if you want to have a fun, strong, trusting relationship, it’s essential you talk about it.
Image credits – Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.