If a man doesn’t invite you to his house it’s a huge red flag, let me say that right off the top.
There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation. In fact, what reason is he giving you? You need to look at that – and don’t feel bad – but do a little digging to see if he’s telling the truth.
It’s not normal to not be invited to a boyfriend, partner, lover, significant other – whatever your relationship is – house.
Despite what he’s telling you, the reason is almost certainly going to be one of the following:
He Has a “Secret” Partner/Family
Unfortunately, one of the most common reasons a man doesn’t invite someone over to his home is because he has a partner or a family there.
Sometimes, they might allude to this with other excuses. Such as saying they’re in the process of splitting up, it’s just a roommate or something else to stop you snooping.
But the reality is that a lot of men cheat. Whether they are unhappy in their relationship, or not.
And obviously the last thing they want is their new partner or mistress meeting their other partner. It’s a pretty shortsighted plan and usually means they end up in a big mess.
But as most of us know, men don’t always think with their heads and they usually start to think about how to get out of such a mess when it’s too late.
Related – 11 Signs your man has a secret crush.
He’s Embarrassed About Where He Lives
This is nowhere near as bad as having a wife at home. To the man, however, it can cause a lot of embarrassment and anxiety – especially if you live in a much more affluent area.
It’s kind of cliche, isn’t it? Boy meets girl, thinks she is out of his league, tries to cover that up he comes from a humble background or has found himself on hard times.
Seriously though, it is a very real concern for a lot of people, both men, and women. He may be trying to paint a picture that’s very different from his reality, and can only protect that by not letting over his place.
He’s Embarrassed About How He Lives
Being embarrassed about how he lives is probably worse than being embarrassed about his neighborhood.
If he’s a hoarder or incredibly messy, then this can cause serious problems down the road should the two of you ever move in together.
The fact that he knows this and is mindful enough to hide it says something too.
On one hand, you can understand him being ashamed, but on the other hand, he needs to do something about it.
He’s Not Serious About You and It’s Too Big a Commitment
This is another hard pill to swallow. A lot of guys will not invite a girl over to their place is they’re not that serious about them.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see you all the time. It means he doesn’t want to bring you into parts of his life that give you a “hold” on him.
He may live alone, have a lovely place all nice and tidy, but having you turning up unannounced is the last thing he wants. So, it’s easier to leave you in the dark as to where he lives.
Maybe he has other women in his life. Maybe he’s just limiting his involvement with you. It’s definitely something to take a good look at.
Related – 8 Signs your man wants to be left alone.
In Summary – If a Man Doesn’t Invite You to His House
There you have it, 4 of the most common reasons why a man wouldn’t want you to know where he lives or come round to his place:
- He lives with a partner
- He is embarrassed about where he lives
- He lives in such a mess he’s embarrassed, and
- He’s not serious enough about the relationship
As you can probably guess, there are few “good” reasons why he would be secretive about where he lives.
It’s just a matter of how big a deal either of these reasons are. Either way, you absolutely have to speak to him about this.
Your relationship isn’t going to be a healthy one without honesty and communication from the beginning.
Either find out why he’s not inviting you round, or press him so he’s honest about it.
Image credits – Header photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.