It’s not just toddlers that throw temper tantrums, some adults throw them too!
If your wife throws temper tantrums, I’m sure you know this all too well.
I’m sure you want to find ways to help your wife get her tantrums under control, and you can if you know how to react when she’s having a tantrum.
Here are some tips and the best ways to deal with your wife’s tantrums:
My Wife Throws Temper Tantrums – 6 Ways to Handle It
Back up And Give Her Space
The best thing you can do in the moment when your wife throws a tantrum is to back up and give her some space.
This way, she can calm down without feeling like she’s being suffocated or trapped.
If your wife gets physical when she’s emotional, this is especially important for both of your safety.
Try not to make her feel like you’re walking away or dismissing her though.
Most adults throw tantrums because they are frustrated at not being noticed, if you walk away it’s just going to make her even angrier.
Make Sure You’re Both Physically Safe
As I said, if your wife gets physical when she’s emotional, you need to make sure both of you are physically safe before you do anything else.
If she’s hitting or throwing things, you need to get out of the way until she calms down.
If possible, try to remove any objects that could potentially become missiles or cause any harm to either of you, too.
Give Her Some Time and Speak with Her Calmly
Your wife isn’t going to hear you, or at least not with reason when her emotions are raging and she’s angry.
Give her some time to calm down all the way before you try to talk to her about what happened.
If you start talking to her while she’s still angry, it’ll just escalate the situation again.
I like to take deep breaths myself while I’m waiting for my wife to calm down when she’s angry, this helps me center myself and ensure I’m calm and able to make clear decisions.
Never Mock Her or Laugh
The natural response for most spouses when they see their partner throwing a child-like tantrum is to treat them like a child or mock them
This is the wrong thing to do and is always going to escalate the situation and does nothing to help your wife handle her tantrums in the future.
You might think you’re being funny or diffusing the situation, but all you’re doing is making her feel embarrassed and disrespected.
Don’t Take Anything She Says Personally
We all say things we don’t mean when we’re emotional or angry, even though that doesn’t always make it any less hurtful to hear.
During a tantrum, your wife might say some hurtful or mean things to you.
Don’t take anything she says during a tantrum personally, she’s not thinking straight and doesn’t really mean what she’s saying.
Acknowledge Her Frustrations but Tell Her You Can only Talk when She’s Calm
Your wife is frustrated for a reason, even if it might not seem like it to you.
She’s likely feeling unheard or unimportant, or maybe you did or said something that triggers her and that’s why she’s lashing out.
Acknowledge her frustration but let her know that you can only talk about it when she’s calm.
This way, she knows you’re not dismissing her feelings, but that you also won’t be able to talk if she doesn’t calm down first.
Is It Normal for Adults to Throw Temper Tantrums?
Yes, it’s actually quite normal for adults to throw temper tantrums.
Most adults do it more often than they’d like to admit – but that doesn’t make it OK.
It’s not always a huge blowout where someone flaps their arms around and throws stuff while screaming.
But a lot of adults who threw tantrums as kids and got their own way will carry on throwing tantrums in adulthood.
Tantrums have a huge negative impact on everyone involved, and they’re often passed off as the person just ‘getting annoyed’, or ‘being moody’, but it’s so much more than that.
Something to keep in mind is that if you never address the real issue, the tantrums are never going to stop.
Learn to Spot the Triggers and Try to Avoid Tantrums
Most tantrums are triggered by something, whether that’s feeling ignored or unimportant, or even something as small as being hungry.
If you can learn to spot the triggers, you might be able to avoid a tantrum before it even starts.
For example, if you know your wife gets cranky when she’s hungry, try to make sure you set meal times and stick to them.
If you know she gets frustrated when she feels like she’s not being heard, try to make a point of really listening to her and engaging in conversation.
Suggest She Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques are known to be effective at helping adults reduce throwing tantrums, as well as helping to center their emotions afterward.
It’s not easy to get someone to admit that they need to do this, but if you can talk your wife into practicing relaxation techniques it’s a huge step toward helping her get a better grip on her tantrums.
Some of the relaxation techniques that are known to help include:
- Breathing exercises
- Progressive muscle relaxation
- Mindfulness meditation
All of these techniques help to focus and calm the mind, which in turn can help to prevent tantrums.
Plus, relaxation techniques help to cope with everyday stresses and are good for our overall mental and physical health, so it’s a win-win anyway!
Image credits – Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.