Wondering, ‘why do guys act rude when they like you?’
If you’re interested in a guy and you see some obvious signs they like you, too – it’s confusing when they act rudely towards you.
This isn’t that uncommon though, being rude or moody is a way some guys handle their feelings.
Here are 11 of the most common reasons why guys act rude when they like you:
Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You? Here are 11 Reasons!
1. He’s Shy and Not Sure How to Approach You
Probably the most common reason why a guy might act rude when he likes you is that he could be shy and not sure how to approach you.
If he’s never had to flirt or talk to someone he’s interested in before, it can be nerve-wracking for him.
He might not know what to say or how to act, so he makes a flippant comment. You don’t know if he’s beating himself up about it after.
2. He’s Acting ‘Cool’ in Front of His Friends
If a guy is hanging out with his buddies and you happen to walk by, he might say something rude or give you a dirty look just to impress his friends.
It sounds immature, but unfortunately, some guys feel the need to act tough in front of their mates.
It doesn’t mean he actually dislikes you; quite the opposite, he’s just posturing for his friends.
3. He’s a Commitment-Phobe
For some guys, the thought of getting into a relationship is enough to make them break out in a cold sweat.
They might act rude as a way of pushing you away before things get too serious.
If you’re interested in a guy and he seems to be acting rude on purpose, it could be that he’s what’s known as a ‘commitment-phobe’.
4. He’s in a Relationship
It could be that the guy you like is already in a relationship and can’t act on his feelings.
He might be attracted to you but feels guilty about cheating on his girlfriend, so he acts rude as a way of pushing you away.
This one is obviously a bit of a sticky situation, and you might want to tread carefully if you think this could be the case.
5. He’s Actually Trying to Be Funny
Sometimes, guys think they’re being funny when they’re actually being rude.
He might make a sarcastic comment or joke around in a way that comes across as mean.
This might be his way of flirting and trying to impress you. If you can see past the initial rudeness, you might find he has a quirky sense of humor!
6. He Wants You to Chase Him
Another common reason why guys act rude when they like you is that they want to play hard to get.
He might think that by acting aloof and disinterested, you’ll be more likely to chase after him.
It’s an old-fashioned way of thinking to be honest, but some guys still believe it works and it helps them feel more secure.
7. He’s Been Hurt Before and Is Protecting Himself
If a guy has been hurt in previous relationships, he might act rude as a way of protecting himself.
This is because he feels vulnerable and doesn’t want to get too attached or invested in you – only to have his heart broken again.
It can be tricky to get past this kind of behavior, but getting through these barriers and building his trust will help you see his real feelings.
8. He Doesn’t Think You Like Him
If a guy doesn’t think you’re interested in him, he might start to act rudely as a way of getting your attention or acting out in disappointment.
He might be thinking that if he can get you to react and engage with him, even if it’s in a negative way, then at least you’re noticing him.
9. He Thinks You’re in a Relationship
If a guy sees you with another guy or hears from someone that you’re in a relationship, he might start to act rude toward you.
This is because he doesn’t want to risk falling further for you so he’s putting up a barrier as a way of self-protection.
There is an easy fix for this one, you can make it very clear to him that you’re available – and you might as well tell him being rude isn’t the best way to get to know you!
10. He’s Going Through Some Personal Issues
If a guy is going through a tough time in his life, he might start to act out and take it out on the people around him – including you.
It’s not an excuse for bad behavior, but it could be that he’s lashing out because he’s feeling lost or hurt.
This might mean he needs some space to figure things out, or it may be that you’re able to help him through this tough time and become closer than expected.
11. He Feels Insecure and Vulnerable
The final reason why a guy might act rude when he likes you is a combination of many reasons that manifest in him feeling insecure and vulnerable.
If he doesn’t know how to deal with these emotions and express his feelings in a positive way, he may use rudeness as a defense mechanism.
If you can see past the initial behavior, you might find that he’s actually a sensitive, emotional guy with a lot to give people when he lets them into his circle.
How Should You React to a Guy Being Rude When You Like Them?
If you find yourself in a situation where a guy is being rude to you and you’re not sure why, it can be tough to know how to react.
The most important thing is not to take it personally – chances are, it has nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with his own issues.
There are a few different ways you can react that might help diffuse the situation:
- Try and see past the rudeness to his intentions. Is he actually trying to be funny or does it genuinely seem like he’s being mean?
- Don’t engage with him if he’s being rude, this will only escalate the situation.
- Walking away from the situation is always a good idea, he should pick up on the fact that you’re not amused.
- You could talk to him about his behavior in a calm and rational way, and explain how his actions are making you feel.
- Most importantly, try and get to the root of why he’s acting this way. If you’re interested in him, you’re going to need to break down this barrier he’s putting up at some point.
If you can’t work out why this guy is being rude, try not to get frustrated, upset, or take it to heart.
There is always a reason for a guy’s actions, I’m sure you’ll get to the bottom of it and everything will work out the way it’s meant to be!
Image credits – Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.