One of the common questions that come up when someone finds out about a married guy who is cheating is:
Why do cheating husbands stay married?
There are actually a lot of reasons why married guys are happy to cheat and stay married, and it’s not always just so that they can ‘have their cake and eat it’.
Here is a look at 10 of the most common reasons why cheating husbands stay married and often keep on cheating on their wives:
Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married? 10 Reasons!
1. They Still Love Their Wives and Don’t Want to Split Their Family Up
Just because a guy cheats, it doesn’t mean they don’t still love their wife and family.
They may not be happy in their marriage, and I get you could say that obviously, they’re not happy if they’re cheating.
But the thought of splitting up their family is just too much to bear and some guys would end their affairs to protect their families.
But without being pressed on the matter, they get to fall into temptations and enjoy serving their needs without ever leaving their wives.
Related – A look at why correctional officers cheat on their partners.
2. They Don’t Care About the Women They Have Affairs With
This is a tough one to swallow for the women who question why their married affairs never leave their wives.
If a guy doesn’t really care about the woman or women they’re having affairs with, they aren’t going to rock the boat and leave their wife!
3. They Stand to Lose a Lot of Money if They Divorce
This is a big one, especially for older married couples who have been together for decades.
There’s usually a lot at stake financially if these guys were to get divorced, and they know it.
So they stay married and cheat on their wives because it’s just easier and less costly than getting a divorce.
Plus, they may not even want to start over again with someone new at their age.
4. Their Affairs Are Just Physical to Them
For some guys, their affairs are just physical.
They may not even be that attracted to the woman they’re seeing on the side, but they enjoy the intimacy.
And since there’s no emotional connection, they don’t feel guilty about cheating and don’t see any reason to leave their wife.
It’s just a physical release for them and nothing more.
5. They Selfishly Want It All
There are some guys who just want it all.
They don’t want to have to choose between their wife and the other woman, so they selfishly decide to have both.
As long as they can keep it a secret, they’re happy to stay married and cheat on their wives.
You could tie it into a personality trait with some guys, they can’t help but want more and more from their relationships, others around them, and life.
6. They’re Comfortable as Things Are, Too Comfortable
For some guys, they’re just comfortable as things are.
They may not be 100% happy, but they’re content enough that they don’t want to rock the boat by getting a divorce.
If their affairs are not putting them under any pressure to make a decision, they’re probably never going to.
Related – Why emotional affairs are so painful and difficult to forgive.
7. They Only Think of Themselves
This is a harsh one, but some guys are just selfish and only think of themselves.
They don’t care about their wives or the other women they’re seeing, they only care about what makes them happy.
And as long as they’re happy with the status quo, they’re going to stay married and cheat on their wife.
Because, if they did think about their wives, their family, and the women they cheat with, we have to hope they’d be racked with guilt!
8. Divorce Is Frowned On by Their Family and Peers
In some cultures and families, divorce is just not an option.
It’s frowned on and seen as a huge failure, so these guys stay married even if they’re cheating because they don’t want to face that kind of disapproval.
It would be easier for them to just keep cheating than to get a divorce.
And in some cases, their family may even be threatened if they got a divorce, so they stay married to avoid that.
9. They Keep Telling Themselves They Will Change
Guys who cheat often tell themselves they will change and that they won’t do it again.
But, of course, they keep doing it and they don’t change. It’s like an addiction for some guys and they just can’t help themselves.
So, they stay married and cheat because that’s what they’re comfortable with, and changing would be too difficult for them.
10. No One Ever Pushes Them to Make a Choice
If no one ever forces a guy who is cheating to make a choice, they’re probably not going to.
Their wife may suspect they’re cheating but never confront them about it.
Or the other woman may know about the wife – and probably does – but not care.
As long as no one is putting any pressure on these guys, they’ll just keep cheating and stay married!
Related content:
Signs your husband is a player!, and
Reasons why guys can’t help ogling other women.
Image credits – Photo by Benjamin le Roux on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
HOW sad and pathetic that anyone would think thats its okay to be in a marriage and take a vow to be faithful and out of selfishness think thats okay for any reason. Its a choice he makes and tells alot about his character as a man. get rid of him
An older married man who has been married for 30-40 years in their 60s and 70s simply can’t afford to split all assets 50%, and also pay lifelong alimony. These men have already retired, on limited incomes and can’t go back to work etc. In divorce, women will be given alimony to support their previous way of life, and if you live in a country club etc, the man simply cannot afford it. Staying married really isn’t an excuse, it’s reality of their finances. Just saying they would divorce “if they really loved you” makes no sense. Just check with a divorce lawyer to validate this reality.
“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.” — Ann Landers
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. It takes effort and time to cheat. It’s the most disrespectful thing you can do in your marriage. Respect in a marriage is not an option but a requirement.