It’s flattering when a guy shows an interest in you, and often the last thing you’ll think is that he’s married.
I mean, why would a married guy flirt with you and try to get to know you better, right?
Well, one reason is that he’s a player.
Getting tangled up emotionally with a player is the last thing you want, and with a married player – that’s even worse.
If you have your suspicion that a guy you know or are seeing might be a married player, trust your gut before getting further involved!
Here are 21 signs of a married player that will help you discover if the guy chasing you is secretly married.
21 Signs of a Married Player
1. He’s Always Busy and Has a Lot of Unexplained Commitments
If you’re wondering why he’s always busy and has a lot of unexplained commitments, it might be because he’s married.
If he’s constantly unavailable or cancels plans at the last minute, that’s another strong sign that he might not be single!
2. He’s Never Available on Weekends
If the guy you’re seeing is never available on weekends, he might be married.
Weekends are usually when people have the most free time, so if he’s always busy or working during this time, it could be a sign that he has another commitment – like a wife!
Married men often use work as an excuse to avoid spending time with their spouses, which is a hard excuse to use on weekends.
Related – 17 signs a married man is using you!
3. He’s Always Flirting With Other Women, Even When You’re Around
If he’s constantly flirting with other women, even when you’re around, that’s a huge sign that he is a player.
If you’re also seeing all the signs that seem to confirm he’s married, that checks both boxes and makes him a married player – the worst combination.
Even if he isn’t married, you shouldn’t be with a guy who flirts with other women, run a mile!
4. He’s Secretive About His Personal Life
Some guys are shy, I get it. But you should always be suspicious of a guy who is secretive about his personal life as it shows he’s trying to hide something.
If he’s being secretive about his personal life and some of the other signs on this list are checking out, it could be because he’s married and doesn’t want you to know.
5. He Wears a Ring on His Ring Finger but Says He’s Not Married
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If he’s wearing a ring on his ring finger but says he’s not married, there’s a good chance he’s lying!
There could be other reasons why he’s wearing a ring on that finger, but if you’re seeing all the signs of a married player – this is likely the case.
You might even spot a dent in his finger like he’s just taken a ring off. It’s always a good idea to look at the ring finger.
6. He’s Always Talking About How Unhappy He Was With His ‘Ex-wife’
If he’s always talking about how unhappy he was with his “ex-wife”, take it as a huge red flag.
This is possibly his way of saying he’s not happy with his current wife and enables him to talk about being unhappy and try to play on your emotions.
7. He’s Might Tell You He’s ‘Separated’ or ‘Going Through a Divorce’
If he’s telling you he’s “separated” or “going through a divorce”, that’s another red flag.
This is usually just a way for him to justify his actions and make it seem like he’s available when he really isn’t.
There are certain cases where this could be true, but if you’re seeing all the signs of a married player – it’s likely he’s just using this as an excuse.
8. He Doesn’t Want to Tell You His Full Name
If he’s being secretive about his personal life and won’t even tell you his full name, that’s a huge sign he might be married.
This is information that anyone in a relationship would usually share with their partner, so if he’s withholding it – it could be because he has something to hide.
Or worse, he may have given you a false name. Try and look him up under the name he’s given you and see what you can find!
9. You Have No Idea Where He Works
If you have no idea where he works, that’s another sign that he might be married.
This is information that people in relationships usually share with each other, so if he’s keeping it from you – it’s because he knows you’ll be able to find out more about him.
It’s a huge red flag!
10. You Have Never Met Any of His Friends or Family
If you’ve never met any of his friends or family, it’s a sign that he is probably a player, if not a married player.
Maybe it’s early in your relationship, and that’s fine, but to not know anything about his friends and family is always suspicious.
11. He Has Tattoos of People’s Names but Makes up Lame Excuses for Them
If he has tattoos of people’s names, that’s a pretty big sign that he has some important people in his life.
And if those people happen to be women or children’s names, it’s an even bigger sign that he has a life you’re not aware of!
He might make up excuses for them, like they’re his “sisters” or “cousins”, but if you’re seeing all the signs of a married player – you shouldn’t believe him.
12. He’s Secretive When Texting in Front of You
If he’s being secretive when texting in front of you, it’s because he doesn’t want you to see who he’s talking to.
This usually means a guy has other women on the go, and could also mean that he’s talking to his wife.
You shouldn’t be snooping on him or going out of your way to see who he’s talking to, but at the same time, he shouldn’t be hiding it from you.
13. He Will Only Communicate With You via Text
If he’s only communicating with you via text, it’s because he doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone.
This is usually because he doesn’t want his wife to know who he’s talking to. He might even have a separate phone for you!
14. He Will Not Go Out in Public With You
If he won’t go out in public with you, it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to see you together.
Why would someone do this?
Because they don’t want to risk being seen by friends, family, or co-workers, as well as people that know his wife.
15. It Feels Like He’s Telling You Some Wild Lies
If it feels like he’s telling you some wild lies, it’s because he probably is.
This is a common tactic used by married players – they’ll make up stories to keep you interested and invested in them.
Don’t feel bad about questioning him and proving when he’s lying, it’s better you find out sooner rather than later if he’s a liar.
16. You Can’t Find Him on Social Media
If you can’t find this guy on social media, it’s because he’s probably hiding his profile from you.
Why would he do this?
Because he doesn’t want you to see pictures of his wife or family. He might even have a separate account that you don’t know about!
17. He Keeps Letting You Down Last Minute
If he keeps letting you down at the last minute, it’s because something else is always more important to him.
And that something might be his wife and family.
Don’t be fooled by his excuses, if he really wanted to see you – he would make the time.
Related – Would a player really text you every day…yes!
18. Sometimes He Has to Suddenly Leave Without a Reasonable Explanation
If he has to suddenly leave without a reasonable explanation, it’s because he’s probably getting a call from his wife or girlfriend.
This is another one of the signs of a married player that you should be aware of. Or, at the very least it’s a sign of a guy who doesn’t care about you.
19. You’re Not Allowed to Scratch or Mark Him
Some guys don’t like being scratched or marked – but some guys don’t want to be marked as they know their wife or girlfriend will question it.
If your guy gets super annoyed or sketchy about why he doesn’t like getting rough, it’s a sign that he’s hiding something from you, and it’s probably because he’s in a relationship.
20. He Tells You He Has to ‘Go Away’ a Lot for Work
If he’s always telling you that he has to “go away” for work, it might be because he needs time to be with his family.
This is a pretty common sign of a married player – they’ll use work as an excuse to spend time with the other women they’re juggling!
21. You Don’t Know Where He Lives
If you don’t know where this guy lives, you have to question what he’s hiding.
The most likely reason he doesn’t want you to know is because he’s married!
This is a huge sign that you’re being played by a married man – so be careful and beware of these signs.
Image credits – Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.