Shy guy dating behaviors are very different from guys who are bold, confident, and able to tell you exactly how they feel.
But it’s not a bad thing, not at all!
Once you know how to handle dating a shy guy you can help them open up, be themselves more, and enjoy an awesome relationship.
Here are 15 shy guy dating behaviors to prepare for so you can better understand him:
15 Shy Guy Dating Behaviors to Be Aware Of
1. He’s Not Going to Make the First Move
If you’re interested in a guy and it’s clear that he’s shy, you’ll have to be the one who initiates contact and asks him out on dates.
He may eventually ask you out himself, but it’s likely that he’ll need some encouragement first.
Don’t take this as a sign that he’s not interested though!
This is the main difficulty of dating a shy guy, but it’s actually quite cute once you know he really likes you but can’t bring himself to ask you out.
2. He Probably Won’t Make the Second Move Either!
Be prepared; you’re probably going to have to make the second move, and the third…. it depends on how shy the guy is.
This may seem like a pain, but it’s actually not that bad once you get used to it.
If you want to kiss him or hold his hand, go for it!
He’ll be grateful that you made the move and will likely return the gesture.
It may take some time for him to get used to being physical with you, but it’ll happen eventually.
Related – Guys get nervous on first dates too!
3. He Might Leave You ‘on Read’
Shy guys often have trouble communicating, so don’t be surprised if he leaves you on read or takes a long time to text back.
Again, this is something you’ll just have to get used to if you’re dating a shy guy.
Just give him some space and don’t take it personally.
He’s probably not ignoring you, he just doesn’t know what to say. Keep in mind that he’s probably anxious and overthinking his reply, so try not to be too harsh on him.
4. He’s Going to Seem Disinterested when He’s Really Not
This is one of the most frustrating things about dating a shy guy.
They often come off as disinterested or unengaged, even when they’re actually interested in what you’re saying.
It can be easy to write him off as not worth your time, but don’t give up too easily!
He’s just finding it difficult to make good eye contact, doesn’t know what to say, and can’t muster up that courage to say what he’s really thinking!
5. He Might Never Fully Open up About His Feelings
This is probably the most difficult thing about dating a shy guy when you think long-term.
The reality is that he may never fully open up about their feelings for you, and this can be tough for some women to accept.
All you can do is be patient and try to understand where they’re coming from, be supportive, encourage him and see what happens.
Keep in mind that it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s simply that he finds it too difficult to open up.
6. Social Situations Will Be Difficult for Him
If you’re dating a shy guy, social situations will probably be difficult for him, too.
He may not know what to say or how to act around your friends and family, and this can be tough to deal with.
Again, all you can do is be patient and try to help him feel comfortable in these situations.
7. He Might Let You Down at Times
Because shy guys often have trouble communicating and interacting with people, they might let you down at times.
For example, he may say he’ll call you but then doesn’t, or he could make plans and then cancel at the last minute if he gets too anxious.
It can be frustrating, but try to understand that it’s not personal.
He just finds it difficult to follow through sometimes because he’s shy.
8. He’s Going to Clam up At Times
There will be times when a guy who is really shy clams up and doesn’t say anything at all.
This can be frustrating and even a little bit scary as it’s normal to assume that something is wrong, but try not to take it personally.
I’m sure he’s just finding it difficult to interact at that moment and needs some time to himself.
Give him some space and he’ll likely open up again soon. If the two of you can talk about it later, that’s going to go a long way to help him.
9. He’s Going to Be Hard to Read
A shy guy keeps his emotions inside, which can make things difficult when you’re trying to gauge his interest level.
Is he into you?
It’s tough to say.
He might not show it in the ways that you’re used to, so it’s important to pay attention to other factors like body language and overall demeanor.
10. Your Friends Might Get Frustrated with Him
When you’re dating a guy it’s important for your friends and family to get along with them.
However, this can be difficult when your guy is shy and doesn’t know how to interact with people.
Your friends might get frustrated with him because he’s not as outgoing as they are, and they might not understand why you’re dating him in the first place.
11. He Might Miss Some Obvious Social Cues
Shy people often miss obvious social cues, and this can be frustrating.
For example, he might not realize that you’re joking around or that you’re interested in him because he’s too busy overthinking things.
Or, he might not be able to react to social cues and gives off the wrong body language which can be confusing.
The better you get to know him, the better you’ll be able to understand what he’s really thinking.
12. He Fidgets or Stumbles Around You
If a guy is really shy, he’s likely to fidget or stumble around you.
This is because he’s nervous and doesn’t know what to do with his hands or feet.
It’s one of those things that starts off as cute but can be a little bit annoying over time.
He should get less nervous over time and get a grip on his fidgeting!
13. He’s More Willing to Text than Talk
Most shy guys find it easier to communicate over text than they do in person or talking on the phone.
This is because they’re able to hide how nervous they look and spend more time thinking about what they’re going to say.
So, if you think that he’s avoiding you or doesn’t want to talk to you, try sending him a text!
14. He Might Not Have a Lot of Friends
Shy people often have trouble making friends, so it’s not surprising that a shy guy might not have a lot of friends.
This can be difficult to deal with as you might feel like you’re the only one he ever talks to.
But again, try to be understanding and patient. He’s likely just introverted and finds it hard to make friends.
15. You’ll Need to Take the Lead on Dates
Another frustrating thing for women dating a shy guy is having to ‘man up’ and take the lead on dates.
This could be anything from talking to waiters and ordering food to making sure the conversation flows.
Sometimes it can feel like you’re dating a child instead of a man, but try to be understanding.
It’s not easy for him and I’m sure he’s doing the best he can.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Is Shy?
If you’re wondering what it means when a guy is shy, it’s important to understand that there are different types of shyness.
There is social anxiety which is a fear of social situations and performance anxiety which is a fear of being judged.
Both of these things can make dating very difficult for shy guys.
However, there are also shy guys who are simply introverted and don’t like being the center of attention.
This type of shyness is not as severe and can be worked on with time and patience.
If you’re dating a guy who is shy, it’s important to be patient and understand that it’s not easy for him.
Try to take the lead on dates and be understanding when he’s not as outgoing as you’d like.
How Do You Know If A Guy Likes You if He Is Shy?
It can be difficult to tell if a shy guy likes you as they’re not as likely to make the first move.
However, there are some things you can look out for which might give you an indication that he’s interested.
For example, he might get nervous around you or fidget more than usual.
Or, he might be more willing to text than talk in person.
If you’re unsure, it’s always best to ask him directly!
If he likes you, he’s not going to be able to hide it and you’ll start seeing the signs.
Will a Shy Guy Be Less Shy Over Time?
The good news is that a lot of shyness is caused by nerves and this will lessen over time.
As he gets to know you better and becomes more comfortable around you, he should start to open up more.
Of course, some guys are simply introverted and this won’t change no matter how well they know you.
However, if you’re patient and understanding, you should be able to work through it!
Image credits – Photo by Crook & Marker on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.