It’s a question that plagues many women – do guys get nervous before a first date?
The answer, it seems, is both yes and no.
While some men may not feel nerves in the traditional sense, others may experience something more akin to anxiety or excitement.
The bottom line is:
If you’re a guy – don’t worry, whatever you’re feeling before going on a date is perfectly normal, no matter how nervous you feel!
If you’re a woman – understanding that a guy is nervous, even if he’s good at hiding it, is going to help better understand – and connect – with him.
In fact, I’d go as far as to say that if a guy is not nervous or anxious before a first date, his head isn’t in the right place emotionally to be going on a date.
Why Do Guys Get Nervous Before a First Date?
There are a number of reasons why guys may get nervous before a first date.
For one, a guy simply doesn’t know what to expect.
I’m sure we’ve all been in a similar situation at some point, not just when dating. It’s nerve-racking now knowing how the evening is going to go.
A first date is often shrouded in a certain level of mystery and guys will naturally ponder:
- Will she like me?
- What will we talk about?
- What if I do something wrong?
- Will I fancy her?
- Is she going to be ‘the one’?
All these questions and more can cause even the most confident guy to feel at least some nerves before a big date.
Another reason guys may get nervous has to do with wanting to make a good impression.
This is especially true if he really likes the girl he’s going on a date with.
If there has been some back and forth on social media or by text, it’s only going to add to the anticipation.
We all want to be liked for who we are, make a good impression, and of course, in the back of our minds is the possibility of finding a soul mate or life partner – the stakes couldn’t be higher!
Related – Who should pay on the first date? I can explain.
Are Nerves Before a Date Good?
So, we’ve established that it’s normal and natural for guys to feel at least some nerves before a first date.
But are nerves good or bad?
The answer is: it depends.
Some men may find that their nervous energy propels them into action – they’ll take extra care in choosing their outfit, make sure they’re well-groomed and smelling great, and perhaps even pick out a small gift for their date.
In other words, feeling nervous can be a good thing as it can result in taking extra care to prepare for the date.
On the flip side, if a guy is so nervous that he can’t eat or sleep properly in the days leading up to the date, then his nerves are definitely doing more harm than good!
The best thing to do is try to strike a balance – be excited about the date without putting too much pressure on yourself.
After all, it’s just one date. If things don’t go well, there’s always next time.
And who knows? The girl you’re going on a date with may be feeling just as nervous as you are!
So relax, be yourself, and let the evening unfold naturally. Who knows where it might lead…
How to Deal With First Date Nerves
If you’re feeling nervous about a first date, there are a few things you can do to try and calm your nerves:
- Get some exercise: take a run or hit the gym to release some of that nervous energy.
- Write stuff down: jotting down your thoughts and feelings can help ‘clear your head’.
- Talk to friends: confide in someone you trust about how you’re feeling – they may be able to offer some words of wisdom or reassurance.
- Breathe: try some deep breathing exercises or meditation to help relax your mind and body.
- Visualize: close your eyes and visualize yourself having a great time on the date – it’s a form of positive self-talk that can help boost your confidence.
First dates can be nerve-wracking but try to remember that everyone feels the same way.
Just relax, be yourself, and let the evening unfold naturally. Who knows where it might lead… Good luck!
How Do You Know if You Make a Man Nervous?
I’m not trying to suggest that you’re making your date’s nerves worse – although let’s be honest, it’s pretty flattering if you are!
There are a few telltale signs to look out for that you might be making your date nervous.
If he’s fidgeting a lot, seems distracted, or is having trouble making eye contact, then it’s likely that he’s feeling at least some nerves.
Another sign that you make him nervous is if he’s talking too much or cracking jokes – he might be trying to cover up his nerves by keeping the conversation going.
If you’re not sure whether or not you make him nervous, the best thing to do is ask him directly.
He might appreciate your honesty and feel more comfortable opening up to you about how he’s feeling.
Even though his nerves are a sign that he’s charged up on emotional energy and finds you attractive, it’s better for the sake of the date that you do everything you can to help him get those nerves under control!
Image credits – Photo by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.