If you’re in the dating game, you probably feel a rush of nervousness before each and every date. If not, you’re one of the lucky ones – and it probably means you’re heart isn’t in it.
Anxiety is a part of life. We all have to face up to situations that make us nervous, or anxious. It’s this nervous energy that helps us make cautious decisions. Or at least it should do.
Making the commitment to meet a stranger for the first time and go for a date is a pretty nerve racking thing to do. For some people it puts a complete block on them even going on a date.
This is always a shame, because dating and meeting people is one of the most fulfilling things you can do in life. So learning how to manage one’s anxiety and dating nerves is incredibly important.
Not only does it allow you to pluck up the courage to go on a first date, but it will help you be more relaxed on the date. After all, there is no need to worry about something you can’t control, is there?
The key to managing your dating anxiety is to not try and block the anxiety out, but more so to focus it towards a more positive direction.
The main concerns are usually first impressions, anticipating if there will be conversation, the chance of rejection, and not being liked.
Anxiety can raise it’s ugly head if you’re not confident in yourself too. It can raise deeper issues to the surface, but that’s a chapter for another day. Try not to ask yourself any “what if’s”, this is something you can’t control.
Here are some of the best tips I have used to calm nerves before going on a date. Take a look through the following and see what you think will work for you:
How to Calm Nerves before a Date by Complimenting Yourself
Instead of dwelling on the “what if’s”, give yourself some encouragement. Don’t feel embarrassed to look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.
It’s well known that many well known successful people such as Barack Obama, and Steve Jobs looked at themselves in the mirror and said words of encouragement daily. Put on some feel good music, or do whatever gets you in a positive mood.
Learn How to Deal with Worrying
There are a lot of ways to deal with worrying too much, it’s almost a separate problem in itself. Once you get yourself into a cycle of worrying about the worst case scenarios it becomes a vicious circle.
Instead of letting the nerves grow, put a stop to it. Practice being mindful and positive, try meditating too. These are all ways that will help a great deal.
Consider the Best Possible Outcomes
You’re going on a date to meet someone special. It will happen sooner or later, so think about how that’s going to feel and how you will handle it when it does.
Focus on the happiness, connection, making new friends, and all the other positives that come out of meeting someone special.
Find an Outlet for Those Endorphins
On the day of the date you will be feeling nervous energy all day, and endorphins will flowing freely. Do some exercise in the day to let these chemicals flow, don’t overdo it and tire yourself out of course!
Yoga is perfect, with yoga you can calm your body and mind. You will find a sense of well-being and focus, perfect for your upcoming date. And, if you’re new to yoga it’s a great conversation starter too.
Put the Date into Perspective
This doesn’t mean to play down how important the date is. But more so put it into perspective, meaning that it’s just a short moment in your life’s journey.
You will get through the date, and there will be more to come. Looking at it like this will help you find that confidence you have inside you, you can do this.
Plan Some Questions and Conversation Starters
There’s nothing wrong with planning some conversation starters ahead of time. In fact, it’s exactly the right thing to do. There is a good chance that your date will be doing the same too.
Don’t rell of your questions like a robot. Act naturally and let the conversation flow, if things are going well and you don’t need to fall back on your questions, great.
Learn How to Control Nerves in Daily Life
Now you have seen the benefit of controlling your nerves and anxiety for the dating game, start making changes to control your nerves in other aspects of your life. This could be the springboard to a new, more confident you.
Meeting new people, going out, going outside your comfort zone, these are all important steps in developing self-confidence. A way to find an extra positive from the situation.
I hope these tips help you with your dating anxiety. There are a number of ways how to calm nerves before a date, and different things work for different people.
One third of people who use online dating sites, never actually go on a date. Nerves get the better of most of these people, don’t let this be you.
Try and remember a couple of things, one, the person you are meeting will likely be every bit as nervous as you are. Something you will both probably have a good laugh about if you hit it off well.
Two, going on a date is supposed to be fun. Sure, you can get caught up thinking that there is a lot on the line. But ultimately it’s supposed to be fun.
With these tips to think about before going on a date, and these last two points – you will be fine. I wish you good luck, and success in the dating game.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.