When you meet your soul mate and get married it’s exciting to think about the future and the life you’re going to build together.
However, everyone has a past and most people who get married have had previous relationships and rarely marry their first love.
That’s just how it is – it’s not actually a bad thing, per se.
If it’s been playing on your mind and you’re wondering, ‘do guys forget their first love after marriage?’ – Here’s the reality:
Do Guys Forget Their First Love After Marriage?
I can’t speak on behalf of all guys, but the short answer is no, I’d say all guys will not forget their first love.
However, the more complicated answer is that it really depends on the guy, what type of person he is, and what he feels about his first love.
Just because he hasn’t forgotten about it, doesn’t mean that he wishes he’d forget about her or that he has good memories.
I’d go as far as to say that most guys (and girls) will have a soft spot for their first love, but there is also a reason why it didn’t work out – and that may have left an emotional scar on them.
So, if you’re worried that your husband might be thinking about his first love a lot and wondering what may have been or enjoying those memories.
I very much doubt that is the case.
He’s with you now, and you’re the one he married. I bet he’s head over heels in love with you and you take up much more of his positive memory space!
Plus, as time goes on and the longer you’re together the smaller and less memorable his first love will be and the more dominant his memories of you will be.
We all have a past, I’m sure you do as well, right?
It’s important to remember that there isn’t much – if anything – we can do to erase the past, but there is a lot we can do to improve the future.
That should be your focus, looking forward and enjoying what you have with your husband and not worrying about his past, his first love, anything like that.
Why Guys (and Girls) Will Not Forget Their First Loves
There is actually some science behind why we do not forget our first loves, it’s because emotions make our memories stronger.
And there are few emotions stronger than love!
When you fall in love, the hormone oxytocin is released which plays a role in bonding and attachment.
This means that when we experience love for the first time it can have a lasting effect on us.
Also, during those early stages of love, we are more likely to be drawn to physical traits such as their voice or scent.
That’s why you can still remember what your first love looked like or how they smelled, even years later.
Long story short – guys (and girls) will not forget their first loves.
It’s just a part of life, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Will a Guy Still Have Feelings for His First Love After Marriage?
As I said, it really depends on the guy.
Some guys are more sentimental than others and will hold onto their memories of first love tighter.
For others, they may have moved on completely and barely think about her at all.
And then there are those in-between who might think about her from time to time or compare you to her in their head, but it doesn’t affect their relationship with you.
If a guy feels like the relationship ended for the wrong reason, or maybe he didn’t even want it to end, there may be some feelings left there.
These feelings should diminish over time though, especially now he’s married to you and has moved on.
The key is communication and being understanding of your husband and how he feels.
If you’re ever feeling insecure or worried about his first love, talk to him about it.
Chances are he’ll be more than happy to reassure you and put your mind at ease.
Can First Love Be Forgotten After Marriage?
I’m sorry, but no matter how much it’s bothering you, your husband can’t simply forget about his first love now he’s married.
We humans just don’t work like that.
What he can do is try to move on from her and focus on you and your relationship.
With time, the memories of his first love will fade and she’ll become a distant memory.
You are now the most important person in his life, and that’s how it should be.
It’s important you don’t put any pressure on him and hold it against him that he loved someone else before you, that’s just not fair.
Your husband can’t control what has happened in his past, just as he couldn’t see the future and know that he’d meet the true love of his life, you!
Does Your Husband’s First Love Still Think of Him?
This is another tough question to answer as we can’t know what someone else is thinking unless we ask them.
But I think it’s safe to say that your husband’s first love will not have forgotten about him, but may not think about him very often if at all.
She may have moved on completely and be in a happy relationship herself.
Or, she may still think about him from time to time but it doesn’t affect her life in a negative way.
The bottom line is that it really doesn’t matter what his first love thinks of him now, he’s married to you and you are the only one who matters.
You are his present and future, not his past.
I hope this has helped to put your mind at ease and you can now relax and enjoy being married to the man you love.
Remember, communication is key in any relationship.
If you ever have any concerns, just talk to your husband about it, he’ll be more than happy to listen and help put your mind at ease.
Image credits – Photo by William Krause on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.