Lots of people find themselves falling in love before their divorce is final.
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, it’s really not that uncommon.
It’s difficult balancing feelings for a new partner and going through a divorce, both emotionally and logistically.
Here are some things you need to be aware of when falling for someone else before your divorce is final:
Falling in Love Before Divorce Is Final – The Potential Problems
I know we can’t help who or when we fall in love, but if you’re going through a divorce it can cause you some added problems to fall for someone else.
The potential issues are:
In some states, if a judge rules that you were the reason for your marriage failing because you found someone else, it can hit you in the pocket.
A judge can rule that you have to give your spouse a larger share of the assets in the divorce.
So before you act on any new feelings, it’s important to check with an attorney in your state to find out what kind of implications there could be for you legally.
The Impact On Your Children
Your children are going through a tough time already with the divorce, and if they see you with someone new it can just add to their confusion.
They may feel like they have to choose sides, or that they’re being replaced.
It’s important to take everything into consideration before you pursue a new relationship, especially if you have children.
Related – 20 tips to help if a man is pulling away while going through a divorce.
Your Ex’s Reaction
Your ex is probably not going to be too thrilled about you moving on so quickly, and it could make negotiations during the divorce more difficult.
They may use it against you in court, or try to make the divorce more difficult for you.
It’s important to be prepared for their reaction, and to have a good attorney on your side.
It’s Not Fair on Your New Partner
You may be head over heels for your new partner, but it’s not fair to them to get involved with someone who is still technically married.
They could end up getting dragged into your divorce, and it’s just not fair to put them in that position.
I’m sure they are saying they’ll stand by you – and they will – but it’s added stress on them and the relationship.
Falling in Love Before Divorce Is Final – The Plus Points
There are also some plus points to falling in love before your divorce is final, and I know for some people they’ve ended up living happily ever after with their new partners.
If you’re feeling torn by everything going on, some of the plus points to keep in mind are:
You May Have Found True Happiness
If you’ve found someone who makes you truly happy, then that’s something to cherish.
You may have gone through a lot of pain to get to this point, but if you’re genuinely happy then it was all worth it.
Sure, the timing isn’t perfect and maybe this new person is one of the reasons why you’re splitting from your ex.
But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be happy, and it’s something we should all strive for – whether it causes problems or not.
You Are Going to Meet a New Circle of Friends
If you’re in a new relationship, then you’re going to meet their friends and family.
It’s always nice to have more people in your life, and it can help make the divorce process a little easier.
Keep your close circle of friends and family close as you’ll need them during this challenging time, but it’s also helpful to meet new people.
It Will Give You a More Positive Outlook
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to get bogged down in all the negativity involved in the process and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you it’s stressful.
It’s easy to start thinking that everything seems dark and hopeless, but when you have someone new in your life it can give you a more positive outlook.
It can be a light at the end of the tunnel, and something to look forward to during this tough time!
Is It Ok to Be in A Relationship While Going Through a Divorce?
It’s OK to be in a relationship while going through a divorce if it’s a healthy relationship and you’re in it for all of the right reasons.
But it’s important to take everything into consideration before you pursue a new relationship, especially if you have children.
I know you can’t help falling in love, but you can give yourself space and time before committing further to your new relationship.
Related – Here is the range of emotions a man going through a divorce experiences.
Is the First Relationship After a Divorce Doomed?
The first relationship after a divorce isn’t necessarily doomed, but it’s certainly not the best circumstances in which to enter a new relationship.
A lot of people say the next relationship after a divorce is doomed because so many end up failing.
This is usually due to the extra stress involved in starting a new relationship while you’re still involved – in some form – with your ex.
It can work out though, of course, it can. Who knows, your new relationship might be ‘the one’, you just need to give it a fair chance.
Ideally, you should wait until your divorce is finalized and you’ve had some space to clear your head and get your emotions in order.
How long that takes varies from one person to another. For some, they may move on within days, but for others, it can take months or even years.
So, while there can be some downsides to falling in love before your divorce is final, there are also some upsides.
It’s important to weigh everything out and make the decision that’s right for you.
And, as always, it’s important to consult with an attorney in your state to find out what the legal implications are of dating during divorce proceedings.
Image credits – Photo by Luana Azevedo on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.