What’s life after divorce for men over 40 like?
Well, it can be difficult for a lot of guys to make the adjustment, there’s a lot of emotional baggage that comes with a new lifestyle.
But there is also no reason why it can’t be the start of a new beginning, and a new found happiness!
Here is what life after divorce for men of 40 looks like from the side of the divorcee, and also for a woman dating a 40-something divorcee.
Life After Divorce for Men Over 40 – What It Means when It’s Happened to You
If you’ve found yourself divorced in your 40s, a new chapter in your life is about to start and you’re going to face some new challenges.
Some of the emotions and things you’re likely to experience are:
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You’ll Need Time to Adjust
When you’re going through a divorce and even for a while after your divorce is complete, it’s normal to feel like you’re lost.
This is especially true if your divorce was not something that you saw coming.
It can take some time to adjust to the single lifestyle and get used to being on your own again.
Everything from figuring out somewhere to live and being solely responsible for all your bills to getting out and meeting new people can be tough.
You’ll Go Through a Grieving Period
It’s not uncommon for men to go through a grieving period after their divorce.
This is because you’re not just losing your spouse, you’re also losing the life you had before your divorce.
You may find yourself feeling sad, scared, angry, and even numb at times.
It’s important that you don’t hesitate to talk to people close to you about how you’re feeling, bottling up these feelings will stop you from being able to move on.
You Will Go Through a Range of Emotions
You’re almost certainly going to go through a rollercoaster of emotions – many of which you’ve never experienced before.
This is perfectly normal and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling.
Your emotions will eventually start to even out, but it can take some time.
Be patient with yourself and try to ride out the storm.
You Will Feel Lonely at Times
It’s not uncommon for men to feel lonely after their divorce, even if they wanted to divorce and it was best for everyone involved.
This is because you’ve lost that security blanket of your ex-wife and kids being around you all the time.
You may find yourself feeling isolated, especially if you don’t have many friends or family members to lean on or you’ve lost contact with them due to the divorce.
Time is the biggest healer along with doing things to keep yourself active and widen your social circle.
Your Future Is Going to Be as Good as You Make It
No matter how you feel, the important thing is to remember that your future is in your hands and it’s up to you how you want to shape it.
Sure, it’s going to be challenging, difficult, and even scary at times, but a divorce can be a fresh start, an opportunity for you to rewrite the script and create a new life for yourself.
You can make it whatever you want, but it starts with taking that first step out of your comfort zone.
Life After Divorce for Men Over 40 – What It Means when Dating Him
If you’ve started dating a guy in his 40s who is newly divorced, there are a few things that you’ll typically notice:
He May Be Stuck in His Ways
If a guy was married for a long time, he may be used to doing things a certain way or having a woman do certain things for him and it will take some time for him to change his ways.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can take some getting used to if you’re used to dating guys who are more flexible.
It’s important you set some boundaries early on if he’s expecting things you don’t think are reasonable, otherwise he’s never going to change.
He Will Always Have an Ex
When dating a divorcee, you have to accept that they may never be fully over their ex or that reminders keep cropping up.
This doesn’t mean the two of you can’t move forward and have a great relationship, it just means that you can’t expect him to completely bury his past.
If he has kids with his ex, for example, they are going to be entangled in some way for the rest of his life.
If he’s still hung up on his ex, that’s different.
In that case, it will be difficult for him to move on and give you the attention and effort you deserve.
He Might Have Difficulty Opening-Up
If a guy has been hurt in the past, he may have put up some emotional barriers to prevent himself from getting hurt again.
Also, if he’s been married for a long time and was in a relationship where he didn’t need to open up, it’s going to be a tough habit to break.
This can make it difficult for him to open up to you, even if he really likes you and wants to have a relationship with you.
It’s normal to need to be patient and give divorcees a little help when it comes to expressing their emotions.
He Might Not Want to Get Married Again
If a man has been married before and it didn’t work out, he may not be in any hurry to do it again.
Especially if it was a particularly painful separation.
If this is what he’s saying, it doesn’t always mean that he’ll never want to get married again, but don’t expect him to propose anytime soon or even talk about getting married!
So, if you’re at a stage in your life where you have your heart set on getting married, you might want to have this conversation if you’re dating a divorcee in his 40s.
Image credits – Photo by Simon Hurry on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.