If you’re one of the many frustrated wives saying, “my husband does nothing special for me!” I feel for you.
It’s frustrating when you know your husband is capable of being charming and thoughtful, but he seems to have lost that spark.
It’s all too common in long-term relationships as couples get a little too comfortable, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are some tips to help you deal with a thoughtless husband, and ways to help him change!
My Husband Does Nothing Special for Me
It can be really tough when you feel like your husband doesn’t do anything special for you.
You might feel like he’s taking you for granted, and it’s going to harm your self-esteem and make you feel unloved and undervalued.
However, there are ways to deal with this situation so that you can feel better about yourself, and maybe even get your husband to start being more thoughtful!
You Need to Tell Him that You Want to Feel Special
The first step is to communicate with your husband about how you’re feeling.
It’s important to be honest with him, and let him know that you feel like he’s not doing anything special for you.
It’s possible that he might not even realize that there’s a problem, and he probably doesn’t know how it’s making you feel.
Sit down with him and explain how you’re feeling, and tell him what you would like him to do differently.
When you do talk to him, it’s important not to be confrontational, make him feel bad, or put too much pressure on him.
Most guys are scared off by the thought that their partners expect a lot, and it makes them feel like they can’t match up so they’ll just do nothing.
You Also Need to Show Him that You Value Him
It’s not enough to just tell your husband that you want him to do something special for you, you also need to show him that you value and appreciate him.
Little things like complimenting him often, letting him know how lucky you feel to be with him, and making sure he knows how much he means to you go a long way.
When a man feels appreciated, he’s more likely to want to do things to make you happy, too.
Being nice and doing things to make someone feel special is reciprocal – at least it should be – it’s almost contagious!
You should also try to be understanding if he’s going through a tough time, or if he’s just not the type of person who is naturally romantic.
Some guys just don’t find it easy to express their emotions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.
You might need to take baby steps and recognize that he’s doing things that are a big step for him, but a small step for you.
It’s Ok to Give Him a Little Help
On the back of being married to a guy who finds it difficult to express themselves and do those special things you’d love, it’s OK to help your husband out.
You can give him some ideas of things you’d love, drop hints, or even ask him for something specific if that’s what it takes.
It’s not always easy to come up with thoughtful and romantic gestures on your own, so if he’s struggling, a little help from you can go a long way.
Just don’t do everything for him – that takes the surprise factor out of it and it’s no longer special!
I hope these tips help you if you’re in a situation where you feel like your husband doesn’t do anything special for you.
It can be tough, but there are ways to deal with it and even improve the situation.
Remember to communicate with him, show him how much you appreciate him, and try to understand where his limits are and how hard he’s actually trying.
Communication Is Everything
Communication, communication, and communication – I’ll say it three times because it’s that important.
If your husband doesn’t do anything special for you, I know for a fact that if you can communicate to him in a way that touches him, he will understand how important it is to you and start making more of an effort.
At the same time, if you approach it all wrong and make him feel like he’s not good enough or if he has a load of pressure to come up with something super special, he’s going to resent that.
It’s all about finding the right way to talk to your husband about it so that he understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t feel like he can’t measure up.
Related – Tips for getting communication back if you’re not talking with your spouse.
It’s Just as Important to Do Something Special for Yourself!
Finally, remember that it’s just as important to do something special for yourself.
You might feel like your husband should be the one doing things for you, but that’s not always possible or realistic.
Don’t put your happiness on hold waiting for him to make a move – take matters into your own hands and do something special for yourself!
I hope these tips help you if your husband does nothing special for you and it’s getting you down, feel free to leave a comment with your experience or any tips in the comments below!
Image credits – Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.